Never leave home without this:

[beam me up scottie]

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The Heirophant's Proselytizer Questionnaire

Presented to: ________________________By:____________________________



If you're reading this document, it means I've given it to you because you were proselytizing to me and you are a Christian. The purpose of this document is to save us both some time; you see, I'm not a Christian, although I used to be. I became non-Christian for both logical and emotive reasons.

Since I've been a Christian, I do know quite a bit about the religion, although I might not know much about your particular denomination. I became a non-Christian because I didn't like what I knew about the Christian religion. If you want to even begin attempting to convert me, you have to settle those problems. Specifically, you have to answer the questions below. Answers to each question can be e-mailed to me. One of the reasons I left Christianity is that it was so complex, and I've found that the simplest answer to a question is usually the right one. Quotes from scripture count for bonus points as long as you can refute other quotes from scripture that contradict the passage that you are quoting. If I think that your answers justify my return to Christianity, then I will get in touch with you. I will probably get in touch with you anyway, simply because I will be impressed that you truly gave it your best shot.

0. If necessary, explain any unique beliefs you have about the nature of your God, Heaven, Hell, the Bible, the Holy Spirit/Ghost, Satan, etc.

1. Explain why your God's only son had to be sacrificed so we can go to magic happy land when we die.

2. Did everyone who died before Jesus died go to Hell? Justify your answer.

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Questions #3-137 can be found at:

http://www.tftb.com/deify/hierophant.htm

[opiate69]

1. What happened to your joke? I thought it was great!

:shrug:

Although, this is really good too.. lucky for me, though, we don't get much of those prostelytizing types here in western Washington.

[beam me up scottie]

2. I figured I offended enough people today, I'll start fresh tomorrow.

I would love to move to Washington. I live in freeperville right now but am originally from Vermont. WA seems to have the same laid back attitude as VT but without the -35°F winter nights. Both states are also incredibly beautiful.

[trotsky]

3. That's pretty good.

Although I would be OK with:

Dear Annoying Xian Proselytizer:

GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

Sincerely,
A Happy Atheist

[beam me up scottie]

4. These are my favorites:

15. Explain why original sin exists. Why should I be eternally tortured for something that a pair of naked fruit-munching simpletons did in a garden over six thousand years ago? If you believe that children are born stained because they were conceived sexually, explain why I would be punished for something my parents did by your merciful and just God. If this does not apply to you, explain why.

17a. If your God did not want Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, why did he put the tree in the garden of Eden (and at the center, no less)? Was it for shade? If the purpose of the tree was to tempt Adam and Eve, explain why the temptation was necessary. If God knows all, then He already knew they would not be able to resist the temptation. So what was the point?

33. Explain why being a good Christian requires you to push your beliefs on others. If you do not believe that you have to push your views on others (no matter how much this annoys them), explain why you do not believe this despite the fact that the New Testament seems to suggest that you must do this to get to Heaven (for instance, in Matthew 28:19-20).