I think I have a problem

[phantom power]

My kid is six. This morning, she was pretty pissed at me: "Daddy, our neighbors go to church, and they send us lots of cards about Baby Jesus, and so he must be real! And my friends go to church! And you don't believe in God but I do!"

This isn't the first time either. Whatever this is, it's becoming pretty clear to me it isn't just gonna blow over.

Another thing that has become clear to me is that she doesn't actually respect my opinion that much :-) I'm faced with the ironic problem that because she has no respect for authority, she is becoming interested in the ultimate authoritarian evil -- organized religion.

Not that she actually knows anything about it, never having been to church, or sunday school, or even watched Davey and Goliath.

:banghead:

[Deep13]

1. Maybe it's time to explain that wishing something were true...

...doesn't make it true. That thing about cards about JC makes JC real sounds like the ontological argument. Plus, it may be important to point out that even if JC were real, it doesn't make god is real.

[phantom power]

6. I did mention that to her.

I think I pointed out that if I sent her some cards involving Shrek, that doesn't mean Shrek is real. (You go to war with the mythological characters you have)

I'm pretty sure that this will work over time. But I'm her father, and my opinion means nothing, you see.

The kid is six. I can hardly wait til she's an actual teenager.
:eyes:

[cleanhippie]

2. May I recommend reading "Parenting Beyond Belief" by Dale McGowan?

You should find many tools to help you with this dilemma. My daughter is only 16 months old and I have read this book 3 times already to make sure I am prepared when this time comes for me.
There is also a facebook page and a website.

Good luck.

[immoderate]

3. Going to church a few times should be enough to cure that.

It might also be time to conduct a lesson in "what's real and what's make believe."

If she's as independent a thinker as she sounds, she should be able to detect the bullshit in the church.

--imm

[phantom power]

5. It may cure her :-) She has No Idea how boring it actually is.

I've promised her I would take her if she wanted, although I was imagining she would be older. The thought of her sitting through a mass would be... interesting.
:rofl:


She is also highly sceptical by nature. Maybe more so than I am. Over the weekend she was wondering about where God came from. Although she ended up with some kind of explanation involving other planets. So... work in progress.
:-)

[immoderate]

7. You may have a weapon there.

Turn her loose on the church people. Let her test their reality.:rofl:

I have never been in a religious ceremony where I didn't want to be somewhere else. I'll allow that some people love rituals. If that's the case, I'd take her to a synagogue, a mosque, etc. Long shot there. More likely, as you say, church would be agonizing for a six year old. Then she can choose.

I was about seven when my friends and I had a discussion about what was real and what was make believe. It was unanimous that god was make believe. (Disclaimer: This is typical of middle class Jewish families. YRMV.)

--imm

[lazarus]

4. I'm not sure how I avoided this

my fundy ex-wife had full custody of my daughter up to age six. I had alternate weekends. Venece took her to church, I never did. Kasii never really got into the church stuff. She asked me my opinion, and I gave it to her, and told her that different people believe (or don't) different things.

About the time I got custody, she was ready to be an atheist. No struggle, no dismay, no drama. Christianity/religion never "took" with her.

It was a few years before she had the intestinal fortitude to tell her mom, though, and that was full of drama, but it blew over after a few months.

I win. :evilgrin:

For your situation, just educate her enough in Christianity to let her see the foolishness. If she doesn't see it right off, point it out by asking her questions that will lead her in the right direction.

And don't get too worried about it. I was raised an evangelical, and it didn't take for long.

[Codeine]

8. If you haven't inculcated her into the concept of religion by age 6

then it's never going to take -- not in any lasting or deep sense. She's having her natural intellectual curiosity piqued by the whole thing, but she's clearly bright enough to realize it's hokum in the long run.

[Warpy]

9. Tell her she can go when she's old enough to go alone

say, when she's 10 and you can drop her off and pick her up. Kids are conformist. She's just starting a little early.

Six is a tough age, they can still believe in Santa Claus. If she doesn't, remind her that people are also sending out cards with Santa and his flying reindeer and he doesn't exist, either.

I have friends who allowed their 11 year old to drag them to church because she felt left out. They found an extremely liberal Episcopalian church and stayed because they found a nice community there, even if they still don't believe a word of it.

Having your kid drag you to a church can turn out well, in other words. Drop her off when she's old enough if it doesn't.