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Well, I told my sister I was an atheist. It upset her. I really didn't think it would, but considering how she views christianity...yeah, I can understand. After a lengthy conversation with her over the subject much of it is still in my head. She tells me that I should believe...just in case I'm wrong. You never know...you might die and then god appears...or maybe you wake up in hell. :shrug: I haven't a clue and she didn't seem to know either. I expressed to her what I think what happens after we die and let her know I was not happy about it, but that's life. You die and that's it.
Nope, I am not happy at all. What if I die and then I wake up? I'd be in a coffin, underground and in some sort of cement thing. That would suck! Cremation definitely has no appeal at all. What if I don't like death and I want my body back? Well, I am just screwed in that case. What's worse, is what if there is a heaven. That is totally confusing, too. Jesus said there were mansions. Now, that'd be cool. My own mansion.
But then a preacher told me once that we'd all be just spirits, singing and praising gawd and all that. What would we need a mansion for then? Oh, and what's up with all the praising and singing? Forever? :wtf: I can't...I don't have it in me. At all.
I told my sister that I can't pretend to be a christian...I'd be lying. I'd be a hypocrite and being a hypocrite is the one thing I DO NOT want to be. I've seen so damn much of it in my life that I've worked my ass off not to be one now...even though I'm sure there's still a little bit in me. Whenever I catch myself being a hypocrite...for even just a little, I stop and fix it.
I also told her that while I consider the bible full of myths I do think there are some good things we can take from it. There are a few notions that we shouldn't dismiss out of hand because it came out of the bible. One of the best things to come out of it...well, it wasn't in the bible. It's in the Book of Thomas which the Counsel of Nicea decided it didn't need to be included. That is that peace comes when we find it within ourselves. I'm just paraphrasing here, but that's basically what it said. I like that because I know how true it is. I believe it.
The struggles I had over religion, faith and spirituality really tore at me. Disbelief had been dogging me for years...since I was a kid. Enough was enough and I was not going to keep at it. My heart and mind was telling me there wasn't a god. It was a matter of not denying it any longer. There was a painful period there for a while and I think it was having to deal with things I had been taught my entire life as far as christianity goes. It's programming that can be tough to break, but I did and I'm more at peace with myself than I had been in years. I feel like myself and it feels damn good.
I told my sister all this and she hated it. There was a lot more I wanted to tell her, but I held back. I wondered whether I should or not. Should I give more detailed explanations as to why I'm an atheist? Should I point out discrepancies in the bible? Should I show her scientific fact that disputes the bible?
Should I attempt to bring her around to my way of thinking or let her be? Given how much stock she puts in gawd and all that I know that it's very important to her. To change that or even attempt to change it would hurt her and as much as I love her, I don't know if I should. It could rattle her faith to such a degree that I worry about the pain she would experience. Do I have a right to change that? Do I have an obligation to do it?
Do we have the right or the obligation to tell someone and show them that their religious belief is false?
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