USA Today Op-Ed: Am I raising athiest children?

[Synnical]

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/03/am-i-raising-at.html

Am I raising 'atheist children'?
I don’t believe in God, but I do believe that a key component of good parenting is teaching a child to think for herself.

By Nica Lalli

I am an atheist. I have never joined, or been part of, any religious group or organization. I was raised without religion, and without much understanding of what religion is. I have never had much of an identity religiously, and I stayed away from much thought or discussion on the matter. It is only recently that I have really explored the many options for religious beliefs and have decided that rather than saying, "No comment," I now call myself an atheist.

(Illustration by Adrienne Lewis, USA TODAY)

I am also a parent. I have two children: a 13-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. They don't belong to any religious group, either. I never had them baptized, christened, or blessed. Neither of them had a bris, bat mitzvah or first communion. But am I raising "atheist children"? Just because I do not identify our family as religious, are they atheists? I don't think so. Rather, I am raising questioning children, and those are the best kind of children to send out into the world.

'We are nothing'

I never describe our family as "an atheist family" (I prefer to say, "We are nothing," as in not part of any religion), and I reject the notion that my kids are automatically what I am. I think that keeping them open to all the possibilities is more important than telling them what to believe in.

I know a lot of religious families who say they are a Christian, Jewish or Muslim family. And they are. They have traditions, rituals and celebrations that define what they are. They pass those things to the children, along with belief.

Most young children accept what their parents tell them as true, whether it is the existence of Santa Claus or Jesus Christ. It is important that children understand what their parents believe, but it is also important for children to know about all the options out there. This is tricky if a parent is a true believer of a religion and feels that her way is the only path. But how can children question openly when they are taught that there are absolute truths in belief?

More at link, including reader comments.

[YankeyMCC]

1. Well good luck to her

she did a fair job of describing how I hope to raise my son too. Although I don't like her term "we are nothing" and she may be to focused on teaching about the other religions as options. I will certainly educate my son about other religions and encourage him to explore and follow through any interest he has in learning more - because, I hope, I've done a good job at teaching him critical thinking, I should have no fear of him falling pray to nonsense and making good decisions. Of course this goes along with close monitoring by me until he's fully ready and old enough to make more of his own decisions.

The reader comment that claims religion provides a "moral compass" is an example of why I think her post focuses a bit to much on teaching about other religions and my objection to the phrase "we are nothing". I teach my son about logic, critical thinking and ethics. Religions are not necessary at all for a 'moral compass' in fact I think they pretty much all fail pretty miserably as a means of providing a 'moral compass'.

"We are ethical", we call ourselves "humanists" or "secular humanists".

[Kolesar]

2. I should have no fear of him falling *pray* to nonsense

:mmm kay:

[YankeyMCC]

3. lol opps

i guess that was a Freudian slip. :)

[PassingFair]

15. "We are a secular family"....is what I say if someone asks.

Both of my daughters identify themselves as atheists.
My oldest daughter told one bigoted teacher she was
Muslim, just to make him uncomfortable. He is an Iraq
vet that has pictures of himself with Ann Coulter on his
My Space account.....She is in India now, leaning the ins
and outs of Hinduism and Islam. (She's 16, on an 11 month
student exchange.) On her FaceBook pages, she identifies
as 100% Indian, and an atheist.

(Although in Junior High, my she pretended
to be Jewish. The "tale" spread to my youngest daughter's
school, and she got to light the menorah in the holiday
assembly.....)

Both of my daughter's have studied religions, and probably
know more about comparative religion than any of their
friends.

[progressoid]

4. Interesting reader's comments.

Actually, I think it's interesting that the comments in support of her are all recommended and the ones by the bible thumpers are not. So either we are more passionate about this, or we outnumber them, or they don't know how the recommend thing works.

[Warpy]

6. People are just plain sick of the thumpers

getting up in their faces and trying to bully them into giving lip service to Jebus the Dispensationalist saviour.

The thumpers had better brace themselves. The backlash cometh.

[Deep13]

5. That pretty much describes my sister's 8-year-old kid.

My sister was raised Catholic, but rejected it as an adult. My sister said that when her daughter asked what Easter and baptism was, she found the answers quite amusing.

My sister's explanation for baptism was especially amusing. Some people believe that babies are born evil and that putting water on their heads makes them not so evil.

[qb]

7. This is the approach I took with my two children.

I didn't try to soften the facts... I just answered their questions about religious deities, holidays, death, and my beliefs honestly. I also taught my children to respect the beliefs of others. They both identify themselves as atheists. My niece was raised by a Catholic mother and an atheist father and had 8 years of Catholic school. She is an atheist as well.

Religious people who see atheists as a threat are right... teaching children to think for themselves is a threat to the future cash flow of organized religion.

[Midwest_Doc]

8. I believe there is no god.

But I don't identify myself as an atheist. It is demeaning to be described in terms of "what you don't believe in." I view myself as sane, rational and normal. Let the theists label themselves.

[Synnical]

12. I hold no belief in any god/s

I label myself an atheist.

Your post suggests you are an agnostic?

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale

[PassingFair]

9. I say we are a "secular family".

My two children happily identify themselves
as atheists!

They take SOME crap at school, but on the
whole, they are viewed as roll-models.

"Look at them! They are not being STRUCK DOWN!!!"

[deepthought42]

10. I have read her book.

Nica Lalli's "Nothing" Good read, and a fun read too. It was nice to read someone else's experiences growing up atheist and having questions about religion. I highly recommend it. :)

[and-justice-for-all]

11. Cheers to her for not having her kids brainwashed!!!

[WillParkinson]

13. Did anyone read the comments in the paper?

Talking about how important religion is and how she should have them study religion so they can make up their own minds?

I'm absolutely 100% certain that she brought Wicaa, Muslim, Buddhist, fact sheets in so that her kids would be able to make up their own minds, too.

[onager]

14. "It would confuse them."

That's the answer I always get from my Fundie relatives, whenever I bring up the subject of teaching comparative religion in school.

:rofl:

Yeah right. Confuse them with the facts.

Some of these relatives want Intelligent Design taught in the schools. So naturally, I ask if they're all for "choice" in the Science classes, why not teach exactly the same kind of "choice" when it comes to religion?

"It would confuse them..."