Thought you guys might like to see this little gem from a thread in LBN

[A HERETIC I AM]

about the plane crash at Heathrow.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=102&topic_id=3143879&mesg_id=3147346

LOL.....I suppose this person felt that if he used the expression "Thank God" he had to tell all us Atheists to get fucked for fear he might be challenged?

[Pale Blue Dot]

1. You have to admit, that's pretty compelling evidence for a God.

:rofl:

(I left a comment)

[A HERETIC I AM]

2. Saw that! And I just sent you a PM...

Sent the PM before I saw the above reply.....

anyway, and again...have a good Saturday!

[TZ]

3. That was......bizarre.

So in other words, someone who is an engineer (or claims to be) is thanking God for engineering doing what its designed to do? Thats funny..You have faith in God, but not in the knowledge you are proclaiming? ooookay....Its the I know nothing even if I say I do poster!:crazy:

[cosmik debris]

4. If god wanted men to fly

He would have given us little bags of nuts.

[Evoman]

8. He gave me a big bag of nuts.

I think He want's me to fly really far :shrug:.

(sorry..I had to follow up on the joke. You make it too easy, cosmik).

[cosmik debris]

9. You ARE a big bag of nuts!

Do you ever notice the difference between theists and atheist is the humor we bring to DU?

I'll grant that much of my humor is second rate, and like the joke above, much of it is ripped off. But have you ever seen kwassa or okasha setting you up for a good punch line or tossing out a good one-liner?

Theists are the most humorless people I know.

[salvorhardin]

10. Conspiracy theorists are even more humorless

I guess it's because they're so serious about THE TROOF!!!!111

I'd like to think that if Douglas Adams was still alive today he'd be laughing his ass off at both the truthers and the militant New Apologists railing against the so-called New Atheism.

[cosmik debris]

11. Religion is just another conspiracy theory.

There are plenty of similarities between theists and LIHOPs. And if you can believe in a sky-daddy you can easily believe in a Jewish Bankers alliance with the Freemasons and the Illuminati. Can you imagine Douglas Adams and Robert Anton Wilson posting in the 911 forum or the health forum?

[TZ]

12. hey hey hey......Watch it bud...

I post in Health and I like to think I am funny (well okay not quite on the level of Douglas Adams--:) )
I do think many theists are humorless and also seem to lack a real imagination /sense of creativity..Must use it up believing in gawd perhaps.
I have to disagree slightly though..I think the health/homeopathic woos are the MOST humorless group here. Because you know, they have to save the world from us evul pharma shills.....That absorbs all the energy needed for humor:crazy:
Did you see the skeptic who said he can't post in Health cause they are crazier than MIHOP'ers? Telling statement...:D

In truth I was actually thinking about how the scientist/atheist stereotype of being boring and uncreative might be one of the most inaccurate. When was the last time a fundie wrote an interesting/creative novel?

[cosmik debris]

13. Perhaps we are addressing this from the wrong angle

Instead of saying that conspiracy nuts are humorless, we should say that humorless people are conspiracy nuts. The cause and effect relationship is not clear.

[Evoman]

14. Humour is what I use to fill my god-shaped hole....*sniff*

:evilfrown:

[Evoman]

15. Oh yeah...and they are the ones watching things like 7th Heaven and Touched by an Angel.

I wouldn't be caught did watching those turds.

Also, it is well known that really religious people are super geeky..the kind of people that, with an earnestness that is almost chilling, will tell you, "You know what's just as fun as partying with strippers and beer.....partying with Jesus! Come to church and party with us."

[cosmik debris]

16. So, would that party include

"...hedonistic sex with half a dozen well proportioned, compliant partners, a large crate of assorted fruits and vegetables and several flavors of food grade lubricants."

Jesus is not my type, but I do like an adventure!

[TZ]

17. BWAHHAAHA!

I'd forgotten about that line......You know, theists might be humorless schmucks most of the time, but you can't beat them for being
unintentional straight men!!!

[Evoman]

18. Bwahaha

I loved that comment.

Let me tell you a story...a story of a young, evil Evoman.

Evoman was at a dance club with several friends and was a little bit intoxicated. Evoman saw a girl he knew through a friend of his, and decided that he would go say hi. His friend, a lab mate, was a little geeky (loved anime, star wars and had never had a girlfriend)...however, he had a good heart, which is what Evoman likes about people so he was good friends with this guy. Anyways, this girl is just about as geeky, but a drunk Evoman has terrible judgment and decided to flirt with her. This girl basically falls in love with him right away, and against his better judgement, he gives her his phone number.

This girl called Evoman and asked him out for coffee. Evoman thought to himself, "Why the hell not!". He would go out, have fun, and get to know her even though she wasn't his type. Evoman's friend heard about this date, and told Evoman to "take it easy on her" and told her to "be careful with him". Evoman took his friends advice and decided he wouldn't make any moves and back off. Unfortunately, the girl was only spurred on (expected, isn't it?).

The day of the date, Evoman gets a call from the girl. A one hour coffee date is no longer in the plans....this girl tells Evoman that her friend is having a birthday party. A birthday party? What fun! Why not? Sure.

What Evoman did not know was that it wasn't the type of birthday party he usually went to. In fact, it was the sort of birthday party he hadn't been to since he was twelve. Apparently, though her friends were over 20, they were hardcore christians. LAME Christians of the variety that have been discussed above. Highlights:

1)Played musical chairs.

2)Played "I've never..." : this is a game where everybody is given 20 tokens. Then they take turns saying "I've never (blank)" where blank is any number of risque things (or non risque in their case). If you've done (blank), you throw a token into the pot. Evoman was the first one out. The next closest person had only lost 4 tokens by the time of Evoman's loss. Evoman's date was giving him googly eyes by this time.

3)Had pizza. It was pretty good.

4)Played a game where we split into two teams, and took turns putting bean bags between our knees and racing each other to the other end of the room. But every one was dead sober. Dead sober. And there was no stripping if you lost. You just won a small toy as a prize.

5)Karoake at a bar. Fun. They all had water to drink and sang lame songs earnestly. Not fun. Evoman felt compelled to stand up and sing "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred. Girl got even googlier.

In the end, Evoman drove the girl back to her house with no intention to take it any further. He would not be going out with her again. Evoman had a passing feeling that this nice Christian girl really wanted to get nasty. But he passed, and went home. His conclusion: Christians are lame. Lame Lame Lame.

(and btw, I know I've mixed past and present tense. And I don't give a shit. It's my story, I can write it any way I want).

[cosmik debris]

20. You missed the perfect opportunity for a punchline.

Whenever I'm invited to a birthday party I ask if I can wear my birthday suit.

(I don't get many invitations anymore)

[moggie]

19. Bit of a broad brush there

Chances are a fair proportion of comedians are theists. Jackie Mason used to be a rabbi! But I know what you mean. It does seem that the more devout a Christian or Muslim claims to be, the more likely they are to go around with a stick up their arse.

It would perhaps be good for the world if archeologists found another gospel, in which Jesus was always cracking jokes: "And Jesus spake to the multitude, saying: A Judean, a Samaritan and a Roman did go unto an inn..."

[Evoman]

21. Two words for you.... George Carlin.

There is no comedian funnier that George Carlin.

[moggie]

23. I liked him as the cardinal in Dogma

He prays, of course:

You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he's a good actor. Okay. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with. For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit.

:rofl:

[cosmik debris]

22. Yes, of course, generalizations are always wrong.

But as a relative value, theists are less likely to post funnies in DU.

[moggie]

24. Perhaps we should encourage them to?

No, forget that, it wouldn't work too well. The funniest people aren't those who think in terms of "jokes", or who need to be told it's ok to be funny.

[Evoman]

5. Did anybody alert? I would have, but I like when that kind of shit stays

up for everyone to see.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. I almost did, but then had the same thought you did.

I think it's better that it stays.

[onager]

7. Gone now.

"Deleted sub-thread."

Wasn't me. I agree with leaving that kind of thing up for everybody to enjoy.

[immoderate]

25. I always miss the good stuff.

:(

--IMM