Love spells? Anyone do this?

[Beaverhausen]

I'm trying to win someone back- I have won him back partly but need to get him all the way.

Any suggestions?

[Streetdoc270]

1. never on a selected person

But that's how my wife and I got together. She cast a ritual to find true love. Two days later we ran into each other and have been together for 8 years now...

[CelticWinter]

2. you cant make someone

fall in love with you, if the magic is there then it will be. never use love spells to 'make' someone fall in love with you.
Blessings
~~Celtic

[buckettgirl]

3. hey now

If you are pagan/wiccan, you should KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!
If you aren't, then this isn't the place for that kind of crap!
Either way, you need to learn about this religion/practice before you assume something like that SHOULD be done.

[Beaverhausen]

5. I am a pagan - and this isn't crap

But you don't know me so I forgive you!

Like a few others mentioned on this thread I had done some rituals to bring this man to me in the first place. I was looking for love, not trying to attract him specifically and he was the one who came to me.

I guess maybe my situation is a little too complicated to talk about on a website.

Thanks everyone!

[buckettgirl]

6. Sorry, didn't mean to be so harsh

I was having a bad day yesterday and I think that just put me over the top. I expect that there will be people who come in here looking for a spell for *this* or *that* or whatever...and try to make a mockery of us.
I do apologize for assuming that was one of those kind of requests.

I do stand by thinking about whether or not it SHOULD be done though... don't forget free will. :)
Another piece of friendly advice: from personal experience, you will find love when you least expect it and least want it. Example: I met my husband 1 week before I was to move out of state. He proposed 4 days later. I moved away, then I moved back after 2 weeks so I could be with him. To top it off, he is Pagan, too (I'm from western Kansas, so that is a rarity) and we have been together for nearly 4 years now. I couldn't be happier.

I wish you luck with your love, and I hope that you do find happiness.
BB

[LibertyLover]

4. Love spells

I did a love spell to find someone. And it worked. I met my husband shortly afterwards. On our first date he told me that his grandmother, who had been a mountain wise woman in southern Virginia, had told him years before that he would marry a witch. Given his first wife's behaviour during their divorce he thought his grandmother had meant her. Um. Well, Not quite.

[Chovexani]

7. Oh for goodness sake.

You don't need a love spell, you need a good heart-to-heart conversation.

[Beaverhausen]

8. OK OK- I did a meditation last night to get my head on straight

it worked pretty well. I wished clarity and peace.

Heart to heart conversations are hard for me. I have no air signs in my chart so I tend to get way too emotional about everything. I quite often end up saying things I don't mean or should think out a little more clearly but...

[Chovexani]

10. Sorry if I sounded harsh

I used to work at a local Pagan bookshop, and my main job was carving candles and mixing oils/incenses for people. Of course the number 1 thing people wanted was love spells. Whether it was to bring one person in particular back in their life, or more generic. I firmly believe that love spells targeting a specific individual are highly unethical and I have never and will never do that kind of work, and I let our customers know that.

The thing is, most of these folks just needed to talk with someone about their needs and wants and get their thoughts sorted out. Sometimes they needed a good cry about a situation and "permission" to let go. There were many cases where people would come in wanting me to do candles for them, and after chatting with them for a while they ended up changing their minds (I even got in trouble with my boss about that, but that's a whole other thread).

In my experience, people tend to look to magick as a crutch. There is nothing wrong with spellwork, and it can be very beneficial, but often times the answers are sitting there right in front of us and we don't need ritual to figure them out. Also, a lot of times when people do spells (especially love spells), their conscious mind can be driving the energy in a direction that the subconscious mind doesn't want it to go. In other words they use magick to deal with the symptoms while ignoring the deeper illness. In my own personal life, at one point I did spell after spell to bring love into my life and none of them worked. In truth, they didn't work because while on the surface I may have wanted a partner, deep down I was pushing love away because I didn't feel worthy of it. So instead of doing love spells I started focusing on getting to the root of the problem, so to speak, looking within myself to find and deal with the issues that were blocking me in my life in general. And I ended up finding love when (and where) I totally least expect it.

I don't know your situation, but it sounds to me that you would probably be better off doing that than doing love spells on this guy to try to be closer to him.

[Beaverhausen]

11. Thanks for that answer- and please don't apologize

I probably should have titled this thread something else. And for the record I always ask for things "if it is meant to be"

I agree with everything you said except this:

"There is nothing wrong with spellwork, and it can be very beneficial, but often times the answers are sitting there right in front of us and we don't need ritual to figure them out."

I in fact needed the ritual/meditation I did last night to clear my mind and get to the answer I was looking for. It is right in front of me but I had to get out of my conscious mind to really see it. And I had to be in a peaceful calm place when I faced it.

By the way who is that beautiful woman in your avatar? Is that you?

[Chovexani]

22. That's good.

I hope you can get some resolution. These kinds of situations can be tough all around, but there is almost always a lesson to be learned from them.

Thanks for the compliment on my avatar. It's not me, actually it's not a woman. ;) He's actually a gorgeous drag queen named Mana. He started my favorite band, a Japanese goth band called Malice Mizer that unfortunately broke up about 3 years ago (all of them were androgynous gender-benders but Mana was the only one that ever did full-on drag). Mana has a solo project that's doing well now and even has his own line of goth fashions (he basically started this trend in Japan called elegant gothic lolita). Here's a bigger picture of him:



Yes, that's a guy. No one ever believes me. :P

[knight_of_the_star]

25. Understandable

You have to keep in mind, if this person is right for you and really wants to be with you, then it will happen. Fate has a fucked up sense of humour, but She usually makes things happen that should happen.

[New Earth]

23. HAHAHAHAHA

SIMPLE CONVERSATION would have been nice. a guy actually did cast a love spell on me, it was actually a 'sex' spell. AND MY GOD DID IT WORK. i still feel the effects of it sometimes :( i loved it, and him, and it makes me nostalgic when i hear people talk about love spells, voodoo, etc...

IT DOES WORK, TRUST ME. the only thing i don't get is, he has now disappeared from my life. jerk.

[Jamastiene]

27. I wonder what the secret is to making it work.

Love spells have never worked for me. I get so tired of hearing people say be careful what you wish for, because I can prove that little theory wrong. Wish I could learn the secret to a good one. :D

[New Earth]

31. maybe

the potential for true love has to be there :)

[Love Bug]

9. It wasn't a spell, but

A few years ago I asked the Universe to bring me more love in my life. I now have 2 grandsons! :) Perhaps I should have been more specific?

[Behind the Aegis]

12. how nice!

Funny how the universe often gives us what we ask for, but it isn't often in the form we were expecting! :) But, a blessing is a blessing!

[Der Blaue Engel]

13. See my post in the rule of three thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=262x217#230

A healthier spell than that first naive attempt at magic was one that I worked over the last year. My partner and I were handfasted in February 2003, and shortly thereafter, he became deeply involved with a new lover (we're polyamorous). I was devastated that the start of our new life together was completely overshadowed by someone new that from the very beginning was demanding equal time and attention.

I began an ongoing candle spell on my altar to let him see who he truly loved, and to let me either understand and accept it if the intimacy and primacy that I desired from our relationship wasn't meant to be so that I would no longer be in pain, or to be able to let him go.

It was extremely difficult and took a long time; we had many talks, arguments, and renegotiations, and I had to go back to the altar and renew the spell every time I started to feel overwhelmed by the conflict. Each time, I would do a tarot spread on whether this relationship was right for me, and every time, I got The Lovers, The Sun, Three of Cups...always saying that things would work out.

After our first anniversary passed (and theirs!) with no indication that the situation would ever change, I decided that although I loved him, I couldn't be less than first in his life, because he is first in mine, and that was what our handfasting meant to me (and, I thought, to him). Again, though, I got that darn "happy ending" tarot spread, and it pissed me off.

I did another spread asking when his other partner was going to be out of his life, because that was the only possible way I could go on with the relationship; and I got a very clear "five months." I decided I was probably being manipulative of the cards, but I figured it was as good a deadline as any, so I decided that if they were still together at the end of five months, I would walk away. Periodically, I'd throw another "just checking" spread, and the corresponding time was always the same. I doubted it would come to anything, but it did seem interesting that every month I'd check, and the number would come up one less than the month before.

One week before the end of June, the fifth month, my partner showed up one night and said, "By the way, X and I have ended our relationship." I hadn't even talked to him about my deadline, or pressured him to end it. They just got sick of each other.

I needed the ritual (both candle magic and tarot) for my own head, my own peace of mind. It may not have had any external affect on the situation, but it kept me focused on what the issues were for me...what I wanted/needed, what I could live with, what I couldn't. It kept me from unleashing my emotions on him when they got out of hand, and it continued to reaffirm for me that the relationship was worth the struggle. Magic, in the end (for me), is a symbolic expression of the true ritual work that goes on in my head and my heart: the tangible shaping of my hope, will, and desire.

(Wow; I didn't realize this post was going to be that long. :) )

BB

[Is It Fascism Yet]

14. My, my, they are being so hard on you!

Exsqueeze me but love spells are as old as the traditions of witchcraft, time honored, and I am certainly pagan/wiccan, and could bore you with many sources but find it unnecessary. Love spells are black magick, but what true witch can possibly avoid casting them? For if you are a witch your every desire is most forceful. And what's wrong with that? Nothing. If you were a good little catholic girl, you might pray to your patron saint that your beloved should love you back. Nobody would have a problem with that, would they? So, why should anybody have a problem with a little witchletta praying for love in her own, witchy way, that is, casting a spell. Spells are only our form of prayer. They are the way we connect with a greater self to cause change our reality according to our will. Now, you can't turn a stone into a frog because it is not in the true nature of a stone to be a frog, but you can turn a stone into a sculpture, because it is in the true nature of a stone to be a sculpture. That's the limitation. You can only effect changes that are fitting to the characteristics of things, in the true nature of things. So, if you try to make a love spell because you desire a man, but the man is, say, gay, and it is not in his nature to love women, you will fail. Or, if the man is somehow or other, at his core, diametrically opposed to your world view. However, if it IS in his true nature that he COULD love someone like you, if he has that potential, then you can attract him if you don't already know him, or if you do know him, pull him closer to you, with a spell, and if you are a witch, you will almost not be able to avoid doing so, there being so many good opportunities for spells within the relationship. Goddess knows, in my entire marriage I have never been able to eat an apple with my loved one without making it a love spell, nor brewed him a tea without tossing in something sacred to Venus. People should not be so hard on you for the question you asked. If you are a witch, you are a witch 24/7/365/all this lifetime/all lifetimes/and in everything you do. Remember though, that a love spell binds both your beloved to you, and also you to him. If you perform a formalized ritual, be careful to dispose of the remnants properly, and make sure they are in no way mistreated before disposal. For instance, I did a very strong love spell and went to sleep leaving the remains of the burnt out candle on the alter. My daughter awakened before me, played with the wax, and then threw it in the trash. Of course, upon awakening I tenderly retrieved all the remnants of my spell and disposed of them properly. My love spell was strong and so is the resulting relationship, still going strong after many years, however, immediately after that episode, our relationship did go through a short period where it was, "played with and trashed". The most important thing to remember about a love spell is that it binds you both, you will be equally enthralled, equally enchanted, equally helpless to resist.

[Withywindle]

16. Ha, that's very true!

Right on. In my experience, aiming a love spell at a specific person is a wretched mistake, but it's a mistake almost every young witch has to make at least once.

The way it backfired on me was that I became ten times as obsessed with this person as I had been before. I get really bad crushes to begin with, and now this felt literally like "wasting away for love" in the medieval sense. I lost friends because I couldn't talk about anything else. And, to make a very long story short, in the long run the relationship did happen, and it was mostly a disaster. Still get scary hate mail from him periodically, even though we split up 10 years ago.

He was a piece of work, but ultimately I have no one to blame for the situation but myself.

So no, can't recommend it in good conscience (though of course you will do as you please :P). I can recommend spending a lot of time with oneself, figuring out what one truly wants, and putting out a general request for a lover who will be right for you.

My more recent attempt at that seemed like it was going to backfire also, if less painfully. I just wanted a hot rebound fling some time after a breakup and the only thing I insisted on was that it be somebody cool; we had to at least honestly like each other. No melodrama. For a focus, I was using a jar candle from the local botanica that referenced Mexican folk magic and had a hummingbird at a flower as a sexual symbol. Sometime in the middle of this I went to visit my parents for a week--and found that they'd gone a little nuts with the hummingbird feeders, so I spent the days out on the deck with my laptop being buzzed by dozens of the flitty little things! Hummingbirds EVERYWHERE.

(Some months later I had a half-drunk hookup with a friend of a friend, and we've now been living together for three years).

[knight_of_the_star]

26. Not black magick

No such thing, magick simply IS, what matters is the intent and the method used to accomplish it, or to put it more simply, "means justify the ends".

[Jamastiene]

28. Sigh...

Love spells never have worked for me. Thanks for your sweet story. I loved it. It's an inspiration. :thumbsup:

[Is It Fascism Yet]

15. Beauty spells are fun, anyone like to use beauty spells?

[Jamastiene]

29. Never heard of them.

Please share. That sounds like something that I could use on myself. :D

[Lizzie Borden]

17. If you do a spell on a specific person,

will inevitably turn out to be a disaster. Just don't do it. It's easier to stay out of harm's way than to fix things later. There's no harm in asking for some love to come into your life though.

[LWolf]

18. No.

I want to be loved unconditionally, because I'm worthy of love. I don't want to influence anyone in any way. That wouldn't be "love" to me.

There are a few people who love me unconditionally; not many. That's a challenging task, because most people attach value or requirement to love.

As far as a life partner is concerned, I've experienced some attractions, infatuations, and two 10+ year marriages; I don't want a life partner unless that person can love me because I'm worthy of it, not because I manufactured for them an attraction that wasn't really there. I don't want to shape another person's choice.

[Beaverhausen]

19. Thanks to everyone for your answers on this thread

I have learned a lot from each answer - including learning that other people have gone through similar situations.

I still welcome any input along the lines of
drawing the right person to me.

Whether or not it is the man in my life right now I'm not sure.

[Behind the Aegis]

21. Well Anastasia..er, Beaverhausen. :)

I would suggest one more thing. If you decide to do a spell, make sure you are clear. You ask for a pure love and you may get a new best friend, but nothing more! You might cast a spell on yourself to attract a person with whom you can share (insert what you want to share with that person, including sex, if that is something you are also looking for!). I hope that helps!

Brightest Blessings!

[robbedvoter]

20. Here's something that would bother me in doing that

Assuming you do magick work, and win that someone back. After the initial joy, will you start to wonder why is he/she back? Is it love or is it bondage? Are you pleased with a situation like that? With the doubt?

[knight_of_the_star]

24. Don't target specific people

Aside from the outcome not being what you might expect, my High Priestess uses the example of her first spell being one for abundance and prosperity and she got pregnant, most would consider that unethical. I certainly would, it would be considered a violation of another's free will. When I HAVE done those kind of spells, I don't target people, I just put it into the flow and let it happen.

[New Earth]

30. someone did it to me

and it worked. I still love him 6 years later :hi:

[Marrah_G]

32. The love spells you are talking about can be dangerous

If you wanted to do a spell to bring love into your life that is one thing. To direct a spell at a certain individual can backfire on you badly. If you do it, I can tell you it will end badly, even if at first it seems to be working.