What is it about this time that is bringing on such health emergencies?

[Digit]

I saw the other poster on here with her Dad in crisis. My father as well is now in the ICU with Pulmonary Fibrosis and Pneumonia.
He is not expected to live. He does not want to be put on the Respirator or Ventilator or whatever you call it. He says he is in too much pain and just wants to end it all.

He would not tell the nurse that he was in pain, but luckily, my step-mother told them and they administered Morphine for the pain.
My brother will be arriving there Monday evening to be with him.
Since I am unemployed, I have no money to visit (not asking for handouts).

This is my question: With the Pope and all these people dying, is this a Mercury thing?
If you need to know, he was born Oct 19, 1925 in Washington DC.

[Digit]

1. I am trying to write a letter to him to be read at his bedside....

Nothing comes up but negative feelings.
I am angry at him for making fun of me, of saying I was too stupid to go to college, and that I would end up pregnant before I finished high school.
I would imagine old hurts come up alot when you are in this predicament and this is not uncommon.
How about this...
I realize he made some mistakes in his life, but I know he does love me and I love him as well.
Would this be good enough?

[pacifictiger]

2. My father too is facing major

health issues at the moment.
I let go of resentment a long time ago, so that is good.
One of the things that really helped me, was to imagine my father as a small boy, and realizing that the seeds for his behaviour as a man were sown by those around him during his childhood.
And imagine that small boy in your heart and wrap him with love. Very valuable excercise to do. You may have to do it several times to process the 'stuff' but it would be really good to write your letter after doing this.
I think the meditation/exercise was in Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life." I highly recommend the book - it helped me immensely on many levels.

[Digit]

3. Thank You so much for suggesting that...

It sounds like something I can picture to take the emotional
charge out of the equation.
Thank you also for the book suggestion. I was afraid to confront
him in all these years and instead sidestepped, so I imagine it would
be healing.
Geez, I have lots of stuff going on.

[DemExpat]

4. I still get her book out once in awhile when I need it...

:hi:

Also, when my Dad was dying I took him home to die with hospice care, and felt very much like I was taking care of the little boy that he had been. His parenting style was very problematic on some crucial issues, but even with his cruelty I knew that he loved us on a soul level....hard to explain.

edit: I never fully confronted him on how I experienced him as a father, but after Mom died he did some major soul-searching himself and confronted his truth in a major way. I admire him immensely for that. :loveya:
By loving him with no reservations at his greatest time of need I felt I was 'confronting' him enough on our relationship somehow.

DemEx

[davsand]

5. I know you are hurting right now.

I am too.

I am trying real hard to hold body and soul together simply because there are too many issues right now to let myself fall apart--ya know? (The best image I can give you is some kind of battlefield where you are surrounded by opponents trying to take you down. Sometimes the issues present feel like it IS some kind of major battle.) I just keep telling myself that we are NEVER presented with more than we can handle.

Making peace with a dying parent is not easy, I have realized.

I know from the perspective of being a mom that there is not a day that goes by that I don't feel some kind of "mommy guilt" that I maybe snapped at my kid for doing some kind of kid thing or making a mess and leaving it. I regret when I am short with her. I resolve to try and do better but somehow the pressures of daily life seem to interfere.

If she's doing OK, I feel guilt when I forget to TELL her how well she's doing. I try every day to tell my kid at least three times that I love her and value her. I try and tell her how much of a joy she is to me and hug her. Some days I get busy and fall short of my "three a day" rule. I'm working to forgive myself for not being perfect at this parenthood thing.

I am convinced that parenting can be one huge trip to "guilt land" if you let it. I am also convinced that most people do not become parents unless they feel some degree of optimism about how their kids will turn out, as well as their ability to parent those kids.

I don't know about your family, but in mine, my dad was a traditional father--the breadwinner. He was not as involved with us as a parent as my mom was, but he did love us and he did try to do the best he could within that traditional role assigned to men back then... He had times when he was short with us and he did say some things that hurt my feelings. I know that as an adult I have responded in kind. I work at forgiving myself for that too.

Digit, I am searching for answers right now too, but I can tell you that from my experience as a parent, your dad may well be trying to sort out how he feels about it all too. He may well be hoping that you are a functional adult who feels he tried hard to be a good parent. He may be hoping that you understand that he had frailties and failures but that he loved you. He may just want to hear that you love him and you know he did all he was able to for you...

I offer this next part not as any comment on you or your father or even your relationship, but rather as an idea of how some folks see this whole life thing:

There is a theory about the idea of hell, that in reality, it isn't the whole fire and demons thing that it is painted out to be. The theory holds that hell, in reality, is us (as souls) sorting thru the guilts that we accumulated in that lifetime. Once we learn to forgive ourselves and everyone else we move away and into the light of joy.

Peace to you, and I hope that you and your Dad can find some comfort with each other and your history together. It isn't easy and it is a veritable minefield of long buried hurts and angers. I'm trying to navigate it too.


Laura

[Mandate My Ass]

6. peace and light to you and Digit (eom)

[Desertrose]

13. peace love & hugs, Laura & digit

:grouphug: Hang in :loveya:

DR

[Michael Sharp]

7. We are in the end-times

To be blunt and a lot of people are chosing to leave their bodies and come back in healthy (body, mind, psyche) containers.

This is an ascension thing and I explain the reasons for it in The Book of Life. I'm not trying to sell you the book. If you want to read it, I will provide you with a complimentary PDF. Just PM me at [e-mail]

[smirkymonkey]

8. Why would they come back if it is the end times?

To help others?

[Michael Sharp]

11. the end times

doesn't mean the end of the world or the universe. Just the end of the "old world" of suffering and poverty and all that jazz

ms

[smirkymonkey]

14. Oh, thanks for clearing that up.

Given that information, I am looking forward to the end times. Thanks.

[seventythree]

9. my sympathy to you

at a difficult time. There are excellent suggestions here -- I particularly like remembering your dad as a child, and understanding what formed his psychology. Yes, all the old crap bubbles up at a time like this. Like others, I have been there, too. For me, I looked at the qualities of my father which I inherited, or was conditioned to, which I like -- a love for learning, a gregariousness. I thought of the things which at the time were hurtful -- like why were you only #2 and not #1 in your class -- and realized they came from a desire to always push me to the top. I thought about how much what I had done in my life was a result of wanting him to be proud of me -- my mom actually was the one who never wanted me to go to college, and would have loved me if I had never achieved a thing. And I found a way to be grateful for his having been my father -- I thanked him for that, told him I forgave any hurts, that I loved him, and that I'd see him down the road.

He died at the moment of my birth -- held on the few hours until I could get there -- I knew he would and I knew when he would die. My hubby thought I was bizarre, saying I knew the time, but I knew it was a "code" between us.

By all standards he was pretty pathetic in the fathering department, but he never beat me, or sexually abused me, and he paid his paltry child support, so I figure I got better than some. Digit, it is a time to forgive -- it will heal you both. If you can, tell him what you need to say by having someone hold the phone to his ear -- let it be your voice of forgiveness, love, and acceptance. You won't regret it.

[Digit]

10. I spoke with someone who used to volunteer in a hospice...

He also suggested that I call and tell him I love him. He does not need to talk, only listen.
I think you both have provided me with an excellent idea.

So, are all these people dying because this is the end times?
I don't understand.

[Desertrose]

12. hi digit...I'm sorry about your Dad....

and please....that is a great idea to call him. Don't wait.

I realized early on that parents -or anyone for that matter- do the best they can with the information and knowledge they have "at the time". We all do the best we can in the moment. It is easy to look back an hour or a day, week or years and say "Oh, I should have done it THIS way or THAT way," but I honestly feel we all do the best we can AT THAT MOMENT....if we were able to do better or different, then we would have done so.

I think of th times that if I had just known this or was able to see the other persons point of view, I would have done different;y...but at the time I went with the only information that I had.

Same as emotionss....parents most likely treat us the way they were treated and I imagined how my Dad or Mom would have felt to be treated in such a harsh way, that no wonder they were acting the way they were. I figure if it hurt me, they most likely felt that same hurt and as a kid it is very hard to comprehend why someone is so cruel...Sadly it can be passed down through the generations until someone makes a conscious decsision to end it. I think maybe our generation(s) are doing that.....not always easy to become "conscious"....

I am sure your father would like to hear from you...I know you'll be more at peace if you do too.:hug:


As for the "end times" talk.... I know that freaks out a lot of folks and it certainly does feel different now than any other time before...but it is more about the old energy and way of lies coming to an end.

It is a big leap or change, if you will, of the "energies" or you can say "of the way we experience things" and many folks, rather than try to adjust to this big "leap" of physical energies, have made the decision (on a soul level, of course) that it is best for them to exit the physical experience for now. So many people are exiting now because the changes coming are pretty well under way....

[seventythree]

15. No, and it is not the end times.

Famous and not so famous people die in every time period -- that's the nature of life. I am sure the WWII generation wondered if their time was the end time. In the 60's with all the assassinations of leaders here, some must have wondered the same. Time just keeps on a marching to its own mystery.

Nice to know that I am on the same wavelength with a hospice worker -- they are good and wise people.

[Digit]

16. Update...

I just heard from my step-mother and since they are now giving him morphine, he is feeling alittle better. Sheesh, I would, too.
Since this is Pulmonary Fibrosis with Pneumonia combined with Congestive Heart Failure, they are going to put him in a Hospice.
ICU says they cannot keep him there any longer.
I have the phone number now for the hospital and a time to call tomorrow when she will be there to monitor how long he stays on the phone. He has to take the oxygen mask off to talk, and she thinks he will want to talk WITH me and maybe it could be as long as 15 minutes before he has to put the breathing mask back on.
Since the drugs might interfere with his better judgement, I want her to be there to cut things short if he is having problems.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and suggestions at this difficult time in my life. When I lost my mother (I was her care-taker, I had nobody to turn to).
Life is terminal and I realize that. I am the baby in the family at a ripe old age of 53, but find I am turning into the child once again at this time, wanting comforting. I was not able to gain any comfort when my mother passed, and so maybe this is doubling up on me.
My spirit realizes there are lessons to be learned here, and I am trying to listen.
I am sorry for bending so many ears on this, but it will soon be over. I appreciate all the support from the people in this forum.
Y'all are the best!
One thing I have realized is that losing a child has to be one of the worst things in the world. I still hope to be able to develope psychic abilities that will enable me to help locate missing children. The most recent ones, I meditated on, but came up with nothing.
My most fervent wish in the world would be to be able to help others in some way.
Doing my checking on the internet, I have Chiron in the 5th house in Sagittarius...would this help?

[davsand]

17. I'm glad to hear your Dad is feeling a bit better.

Hang in there. This is not easy stuff to deal with and reaching out to any support you can find is a huge help... I'm not much help to anybody right now, given my own situation, but if I can help out by listening I'd like to.

Peace to you, and good luck on your search for new abilities. If there is any place that can help you in that pursuit I'd think it'd be this forum!


Laura

[seventythree]

19. peace and serenity, now

[Pathwalker]

18. Has everyone here heard about Nostamj's death?

Sadly, our beloved Toon Doctor, Nostamj(aka Jeff Matson) died suddenly last week-end. There were several threads in GD dedicated to him yeasterday.

Link about his passing:

http://svhamstra.com/SadNews2005Matson.shtml

[DemExpat]

20. Yeah, such deeply sad news there.....

I also thought of this thread when I heard news of his sudden death.

DemEx

[Digit]

21. It was so unexpected.

He will be dearly missed.

I am reading information on the Ascension which Michael Sharp was so kind to share. Maybe I can find some answers there to why this is happening.

[DemExpat]

22. His Book of Life

has given me new perspectives - I would not call them answers :-) - on lots of things in my life and the world at large.

:hi:

DemEx

[Cleita]

23. Since it is this forum, I can say this..

I think the universe is calling its good souls and its innocent souls(those killed in war and disasters before their time, starting with all the innocents killed on 9-11) to help us down here on the material plane from the real forces of evil and darkness that we are facing. Those forces have become very strong as we know and gaining strength at an alarming rate.

I don't want to sound apocalyptic because the Christian version of this isn't where I am coming from. I'm basing this on my own conclusions from observing what has happened around us since 2000. The universe has seen the need for reinforcements on the spiritual plane I believe from those who have recently lived and have the experiences fresh in their psyches.

We need to tap into their spiritual energy to bring about change. They are waiting for us and expect us to. I think keph and Nostamj have been called home to protect not only DU but what DU represents from the OTHERS who are now trying to shut this avenue down like they did the previous ones of radio and Cable TV. This move to start moving in on the internet, our last source of free speech, could have something to do with this.