A question for tarot readers or anyone intuitive

[Castilleja]

I hope it is OK to ask opinions on a situation, if I could. I recently met someone at work who has had this huge effect on me. He did not stay long; a little longer than a month, but I cannot put this person out of my mind *at all*. I have not spoken to or seen him since he left, but I have the distinct impression that I will see him again after some time and also that he has some kind of meaning to me personally.

I have tried various tarot card readings on this subject, trying to get a bead on it. Some I have done personally and some I have done online. I tend to get many of the same cards online as I do in person. I am not really skilled in this or anything. (I use my favorite deck and a book, as best I can, which aint much!) I am thinking I may be a little too close to the situation to be objective about what cards I pull or what impressions I may get, etc.

Can anyone help with insights as to why I cannot seem to get this person out of my mind, and whether I will see this person again. Or why he seems to have had such an immense impact even though I did not know him very long at all. If anyone is able to help, I would be very grateful as it has me very off kilter right now.

[DemExpat]

1. I will have to leave it to others for tarot opinions,

but I just wanted to say that I do know how disrupting and unsettling these kinds of encounters and subsequent fixations can be. :hug:

And that it is really the not understanding that can be so disquieting.

Hope you get some insight soon!

DemEx

[stellanoir]

2. I pulled a few cards for you and they definitely showed

the "off kilter" part. They also showed that you are not imagining the potential connection you have with this character. It's probably karmic but he may not be as aware of it as you are.

Whether or not you will encounter him again seems to hinge on how you address the "off kilter" aspect as there appears to be a tremendous amount of anxiety around this issue for you and it could be pushing the possibility of a future encounter away.

I suggest employing this trick (one of 19 I compiled a while ago ) It's crafted as though it applies primarily to conflict resolution but also works in situations such as yours. It's really good for neutralizing and transforming nervousness and anxiety. . .

"17. Whenever a dynamic with another breaks down and reaches an impasse, sit down and write them a letter, and don't hold back anything you feel. Then read the letter aloud, then burn it. As ever, be cautious with fire. I employ the use of pliers and a cast iron skillet when I do this. Then release the ashes into moving water. It's nice to do in nature when there is little wind, but a sink or toilet will do just as well. This is how one sends another a spiritual fax. It is great magic as it moves the restrictions in the dynamic through all of the four elements and purifies the emotions and sends a great healing to both you and the higher self of the person with whom one is hassled. It works and there is no paper trail."

I hope this helps and good luck to you.

[hippiechick]

3. I am going to try that ~ for a similiar situation!

Thanks Stella !!! :hug:

[hippiechick]

4. Follow up: I feel better !

... I wrote up and printed out a letter and since I'm home for lunch hour, took it out onto the patio in a big kettle, said a short hoamge to Spirit and lit 'er up.

I am going to Camp Chesterfield tomorrow (www.campchesterfield.net) for a previously arranged appointment, and will release the ashes into the fountain there.

My soul feels lighter already ! O8)


:hi:

[stellanoir]

5. Good

It's really a great trick and I didn't make it up. I'll link to the person who did later.

[hippiechick]

6. Holy crap, I got 'action' already!

The subject of the letter just left me a voicemail.
One sentence: "Was it something I said?"


:wow: :wow: :wow:

[stellanoir]

8. wows

I've heard similar stories and yayyyyy.

[hippiechick]

9. ... it also fell in line with this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=245&topic_id=26839&mesg_id=26854

What I asked was "If I hear a song by the Foo Fighters before the end of the day, then M is going to contact me before the end of the week."

I heard the song less than an hour later. And he called about 24 hours after that.

Alas, it didn't turn out so well. But at least now I know it's 100% over - and for the most part, on my terms (even if he thinks that he dumped me. I mostly just wanted SOMETHING to happen between us - the stagnation was paralyzing me.)



:hi: Thanks again Stella !!

[Why Syzygy]

12. HC

Is this the friend w/ bennies? Mine called tonight.

I don't know about you, but I do not want to go BACK or have him come BACK. It has to be new beginnings.

I got him 'back' once using magic, but it didn't last. I'm not resorting to that now. My life is going swimingly. It still hurts. But time heals all wounds.

I'm glad you were able to save the day with finality. I don't have that yet. Libra moon, we take awhile to gel. But isn't it great to have that perspective? To know what isn't Right?

[hippiechick]

13. I'm proud of your strength !!! And yes, that's him ...

... I was just outside with my dogs - the moon is AMAZING tonight, like a big orange ! - and was almost giddy looking back at our exchanges this afternoon/evening and feeling empowered because it's (for the moment) done, and that when he does pop back up, it will be MY DECISION whether or not to open the door again, not his.

Its an extremely warped situation.

We've been at this for nearly 6 years: we get close to the 'edge of the cliff' each time, and he'll try to talk me into a situation that I'm not comfortable with (this time was a 3-way with another woman who wasn't supposed to know that he and I were already involved - all sorts of deception at work in that scenario, methinks), knowing that I'll put the brakes on. Then he'll feign shock ("But I thought you wanted to ..."), then I'll remind him he's a manipulative bugger because I never said I wanted to, then he'll feign anger and accuse me of being 'holier than thou' and 'angry' (but never actually come clean about who this other woman is and why she's in his bedroom) and disappear for 6-10 months.

It was really funny tonight because reading over our emails, it was like seeing a teenage lovers' spat. :rofl: His first email to me was addressed "Dear Mother Theresa". The second was "Dear Sybil". I responded to him "Dear Rasputin" and pointed out some of his ... 'mis-truths' (this woman wasn't the first person he's asked me to lie to) and said that now is the time to fess up and we can start over, and that under no circumstances in any way do I ever want to know about, meet, or sleep with any of the other women in his life.

His response was 'I don't lie. Goodbye'. (Nonsequitur, or what?) :shrug:

Then 15 minutes later I get another email from him: "Oh, one more thing" ...
Uhhh ... I thought you just told me Goodbye ? And that you don't lie ? Hmmm.

Can you believe this guy is 48 ?!?!? :wow:

He likes me more than he wants to and it scares the bejezus out of him. So yeah, he'll be back.

In the meantime, I'll enjoy the peace and quiet. O8) :hi:

[Why Syzygy]

15. He really sounds like

an Aquarian. The deception, the warp. That is what finally put the end on my thing. I got worn out by being the 'secret'. I was glad he told me how much pain he is having. He used to brag that he is almost Spock, and can turn it off any time he chooses. There is a reason the Spock character wasn't human. Humans don't think rationally ALL the time. I don't like deception, however, I can't tell my best friend that I talked to him. She would be very disappointed. She thinks I am so much better off without him. And I would agree on the grand scale. Peace and quiet, indeed. No one around to tell me what to do about EVERYTHING. He kept saying, I'm not here for you any more. I kept replying, I'm not asking you to! I just wanted to talk. I don't need a stage director for my life, thank you. Sometimes I think we may get back together at some point, if he grows up enough. But it doesn't really matter. I have learned colossal lessons and no one can take those away.

I spent many years alone, by my choice. I know how to do it.

[hippiechick]

17. No, I don't think he's Aquarius ...

... in fact upon further review, I don't think he's human. More likely he's one of those anti-angels sent to this plane to help thick headed people like me learn the hard lessons.

The only use he has for humans and their feelings is as a tool to manipulate them to meet his own desires.

I knew that going in, and along the way I lost sight of it and started to think that maybe he does have human emotions/attractions. I should have known better but he's so masterful at the manipulation game that being around him is like being in the Bermuda Triangle - all my radar, my gauges, everything goes off kilter and I'd lose my 'people reading instincts'.

Odd huh? Well anyway, I'm just glad I made it out of the Triangle with only a few minor scratches on my fuselage. :)

:hi:

[NuttyFluffers]

20. wow, he does sound like a gordian knot of selfishness and confusion.

yeah, i believe in the "anti-angels" too. not everyone you meet is human -- which gets me a lot of flak from others when i say that. but, since i believe there is 1, then all variations must be a facet of the 1, so even the embodiments of darkness and selfishness have a place. besides, i often think such embodiments, and those who willfully serve them, torment themselves more than anyone else can. which sounds exactly like a bit of what this guy is doing to himself. feed base desire, feel like shit, blame eveyone else, feel like more shit, run away to preserve essence of self, feel like even more shit, half-heartedly seek redemtion, feel like weak and helpless shit, fall back to base desire to stop feeling like shit, afterward feel like shit again... pretty obvious pattern. the question is how long you want to put up with that ride - mercy for the lost is divine, but we're finite, so at some point you gotta rejuvinate too. enjoy the "vacation" while it lasts!
:hi:

[hippiechick]

21. Thanks for your thoughts ... now I need link referrals ...

... that 'anti-angel' thing is stuck in my head.

Not Dementors (a'la Harry Potter) but ... for some reason I keep thinking it starts with 'D'.
Demagogues ?

Argh. This is going to drive me crazy.


Can anyone help ? Thanks !

[hippiechick]

22. A ha! Demiurge! Spirit clued me in during a meeting ...

.... and Wikipedia defines Demiurge as ...

... Gnosticism also presents a distinction between the highest, unknowable “alien God” and the demiurgic “creator” of the material. However, in contrast to Plato, several systems of Gnostic thought present the Demiurge as antagonistic to the will of the Supreme Creator: his act of creation occurs in unconscious imitation of the divine model, and thus is fundamentally flawed, or else is formed with the malevolent intention of entrapping aspects of the divine in materiality....


O8)

[Why Syzygy]

24. I did not mean to put down the Aquarians on the board ..

but what HC and you describe are exact match to what I observed in my recent Aquarian.
But maybe it isn't sign.

The guy I knew and I had brain waves. Knew when he was going to call and inverse. And so forth.

He told me he felt he lost his 'power' after our escapade. I think he did. But that was because he gave it up. He is in a ditch and won't budge. Will not reconcile to Universe. Wants spirituality, he says, but way far from it.

My friend told me it was a roller coaster, looking in. When you are on the ride, it seems like fun sometimes (though I don't ride roller coasters in RL). Base desires fit too, but I'm not going to get into it anymore than I did in the pornography thread I started.

Outside perspective is so sweet.
I don't know about anti-angels. Do they have a point?

[NuttyFluffers]

25. i think it's the polite way of saying "demon" and the like

kind of like Iblis, satan, in the koran. he was cursed to not see god's face anymore, which for an angel is the worst thing imaginable. essentially Iblis no longer sees and hears the symphony of heaven and god's glory within every facet of existence. their point would be to tempt, thwart, and test the mettle of those who seek the divine.

or akin to satan, or samael -- the venom of god -- in the bible. even god can be like a satan, an adversary, to another. basically it's god's way of saying, "thou shalt not pass." those who embody it would be a direct manifestation of divine will, but through negative means. to either accord with the darkness in man's spirit and draw it to itself, or to be a divine opposition to man's selfish desires. two ways to explain their "purpose." their point is the temptation to keep lower vibratory beings occupied, or the hammer + anvil of trial for beings striving for transcendence.

basically, it's a sympathetic view of the devil, a la paradise lost et al. if there is only 1 and all come from 1...

[Why Syzygy]

26. hammer and anvil

pretty much says it here. I have never suffered this much. But, what I have suffered tells me I will come out ahead of where I started.
I hope that doesn't happen to him, never to see God's face again.

There was the tempt, thwart and test part. Too many times. He said he could learn a lot from me. That scared the scat out of me. I am no spiritual teacher. Sought my own path, as each must do. He has been literally looking for someone to "take him by the hand" to lead him. That is a very dangerous position. It is a solo journey.

He has this drug memory. And has expressed that nothing will ever surpass that trip. I never had a drug trip. I'm satisfied with my higher experiences as they stand. I've wanted to do some higher hallucinogenics at times, but when offered, preferred to say, no. At least at this time. Peyote interests me.

He does have the control thing, thinking he is "the" power. But if he is looking for a lower vibratory being, afraid he missed.

I'm the one he disagreed with. When I tell him animals talk to me, he calls me the "dog whisperer". I can't help it. They talk to me. His dog less than any others. But she followed me around all the time. When we went into nature (which was often) I said, these rocks and those trees have as much consciousness and are made of the same substance we are. He ballyhooed. NO WAY, he said. I disagree. The rocks are my brothers and sisters. They deserve as much respect as we do. Which is almost nil at times.

I'm not really used to the dichotomy of god/satan. Because I experience One.

Your points are very interesting. Wish I knew more about the anti. I'm on the pro side. But studying Tao recently has led me to the balance act. Let's explore this.

[NuttyFluffers]

27. Tao is a fascinating exploration into yin

religious Taoism can probably safely ignored for the most part, but philosophical Taoism is very interesting. very much a home for dilettants, nihilists, bohemians, naturalists, etc. essentially it was post-modern reactionism to a dysfunctional polity, and an alternative to the securlar humanism of Confucianism hyperfixated on progress 2000 years before Europe's leap into it. one starts to realize the world is very old then...

i'm surprised someone who underwent hallucinogenic experience ended up being so self-absorbed and selfish. but it happens. but he does seem to be seeking, which is a start. sounds like he's under the trial of Pride; he'll need to understand the wisdom of Humility to seek transcendence. i'd recommend the classics of litertature, such as Dante's Purgatorio of the Divine Comedy, but i'm afraid it'll be lost on him at this stage. we all have to learn at our own pace. sounds like he's trying to test your Humility and Empathy, which isn't such a bad thing. might be a celestial intervention of meeting of conflicting minds to bring wisdom to both parties, basically challenging each other asking, "do you *really* believe what you profess?"

anyway, enjoy the respite, because it sounds like there's some karmic bond that will bring reunion in the future. as painful as trials may be, they do push us into being better people. though, considering some of his suggestions, i might think boundaries might be really useful in the future.

[Castilleja]

11. Well, that is cool!

:thumbsup:

[Castilleja]

10. Thank you so much

for your help! I will absolutely try your suggestion #17. It sounds sort of similar to the journal and diary suggestion I once gave to my oldest daughter, as she is very emotional and moody and needed some way to work her feelings out when she was younger. She says it really helps her to write it out.

The word you use for this person "character" is also very apt. I will work on the off kilter aspect as well, because that is right on. I can feel it, and it is odd. Thanks again, you have no idea how much I appreciate your having taken time for this! Or maybe, you do...;-)

[Why Syzygy]

7. I don't know what your

expectations are, or what cards you pulled. If you want to post the spread and cards, there would be something to go on there.

However. Whatever is involved obviously holds a lesson for you. I hope you know the lesson when it is done.

I met someone who came over from another suburb (this was a couple yrs ago) at sunrise, when it was raining. He picked me up and we went to the lake and sat in the car and he played his guitar. He was cute! We had chatted a bit and seemed to like each other. On his way home, his car blew up. He got all out of sorts about that. I don't put much stock in people who cannot handle adversity. A few weeks later, after a concert, a friend and I went by a sports bar I knew he frequented. I thought he might be there. She and I stopped at the bar and then proceeded to the tables. As I sat down, there was a credit slip on the table. I looked, and it had his signature on it. I sat on the very stool he had just vacated. He and I did not get together. But what it taught me was that my energy detector was working just fine. That was the lesson.

I hope you are able to find the lesson no matter what happens. It is for YOU.

[NuttyFluffers]

14. i'd have to see the reading...

but it's often hard to do a read for yourself when there's "electricity" in the air. sounds like this guy could be a karmic soul mate. basically, a soul mate where you have some karma to work out with each other, but in general you helped each other out and wanted to return the favor. or it could be that this 3rd tier soul mate is meant for transition into 2nd level soul mate status (deep friendship, impactual, potentially lovers soul mate), but at a later date when your vibrations are at a more stable and harmonious frequency. this would explain the "getting to know you" desire and expectation of reuniting in the future. sounds like your lower level mind wants one thing, return to your previous quotidian, while your higher self wants to point something out that this person symbolized.

once again, i'd need to see some of the readings. but it's perfectly ok to let your thoughts dwell on another. sometimes our soul knows where our energies need to go to find truth and solace. what was the draw, by the way, if you don't mind me asking? was he 'hawt' (said in paris hilton way), or charming, or wounded but alluring? that could also ground the context of the question.

[Castilleja]

16. He was very charming, and charismatic

Not hot, I wouldn't say hot. He did have kind of long hair, though, which I love but don't see any more. We had some common interests, attitudes in common, and alot of *serious* eye contact. I was really comfortable around him, which is unusual for me with someone i have just met. It was his brain and personality that I really liked, and he was really energizing for me, we worked really well together. I could literally feel him when he was around, like a battery or a magnet. It was intense, lots of feelings, at least on my part, that I am sure of.

I cannot seem to get one of my prior online spreads to post, but here is a later one.


3 card spread that I just pulled:
King of Rods - Past
The Empress - Present
Temperance - Future

Thanks for your reply, I am going to consider all this and I think it has already helped to normalize the way I am feeling. I have already begun thinking about what he may have symbolized to me, or what message he was to bring.

[NuttyFluffers]

19. quick assessment

sounds like real electricity. you can tell because you can clearly separate it out of generic lust, it's the inner that lights that fire. gonna throw some words you said back at you, noting its synch with the cards:

King of Rods - Past : he was really energizing for me; It was intense; I was really comfortable around him, which is unusual for me with someone i have just met; I could literally feel him when he was around, like a battery or a magnet

energy, dynamism, comfortable/casual, feel like battery or magnet -- which is like the heat of a fire (the card's element). this is obviously the very man who came into your life and is now out of it. this is what he symbolizes, and from the words you now used one could have made a guess of this card without having seen the reading. but still, it's good to see the card for clarity.

The Empress - Present : alot of *serious* eye contact; lots of feelings, at least on my part, that I am sure of; was really comfortable around him, which is unusual for me with someone i have just met; was really energizing for me, we worked really well together

the woman principle coming into her own in the more temporal spheres. the wisdom of the body, feminine style; unlike the wisdom of the spirit/mind, feminine style (which would be high priestess). you are starting to once again come into contact with your inner empress. the king of wands lit a fire in you to rejuvinate this pathway, you are feeling ready (or working your way there) to step into that role again.

Temperance - Future : the feeling of patience needed to be "reunited" (and whatever that may entail). finding the path of your body's inner wisdom - the empress, and then discovering the wisdom of the 'noble virtues' in the future - temperance. ready to take part in your (feminine) dominion of temperal power, and thus also learning to walk the path of enlightened restraint in the future. to be in touch with the body and date again, feel confident again, whole again, and then walk the path of growth temperance.

sounds like he opened you up to recognize you are ready to be loved again, and then re-impart that radiance to your sphere of control. but it is the power of moderation, a) to leave your quotidian rut, b) to still have presence of mind not to go overboard, that will gain you the key to a new awareness of self. to understand the times you are in these are your keys, and the major arcana shows the soul paths to walk and gain understanding.

the feeling of "reuniting" can be anything at this point, from reuniting with a better, more confident version of yourself, to actually both of you reuniting. remember, you aren't past the stage of finding your empress and expressing temperance yet. so there is growth for yourself already in the queue, worry about coming back together again later. but feel perfectly free to dwell on this man's catalystic influence, for apparently it will assist you in your journey at this stage.

[Castilleja]

23. The part about the Empress card

strikes me as particularly relevant as far as I can see things currently. The whole thing is really interesting, and I can see what you are describing, now that some time has passed and I can step back and look at things from another perspective. Thanks for posting this!

[Castilleja]

18. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who responded!

I absolutely appreciate the thoughts and insight. I have already done one thing, and am giving serious thought to all the other suggestions.

Thanks again!