Anyone else feeling as paralyzed as I am?

[SeattleGirl]

Paralyzed may not be the correct word, but geez, over the past 6 months, I feel as if I've mostly been sleepwalking through my life. My house is cluttered, and while I've never been a pass-the-white-glove-test type of housekeeper, I've not had as many piles of clutter all over the place since I was in high school in the early 70's. I look around, and hate what I see, but can't seem to pull it together enough to tackle it.

This feeling has affected my work too. I'm getting better, but for the longest, I was forgetting things, missed a couple of appointments, forgot to call people back, etc. I've been in my field for 16 years (I'm a vocational rehab counselor, dealing with injured workers), and this job requires that a person be self-motivated, self-starting, disciplined, able to juggle a number of things at once, which I've always been able to do. That just fell apart over the last 6 months or so.

My yard and my gardens and the plants on my deck are suffering. Lots of work needs to be done, but I just don't have the drive.

I do feel as if I'm on the verge of a big change, and that has been borne out by a reading I had, as well as some of the things I've read in this forum. It's almost as if my life as its been no longer works, no longer fits, and perhaps this is why I've had such a difficult time continuing along the same old path.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything (but if anyone has some suggestions about what I can do to get myself out of this, I'm open to it), but was wondering if anyone else has not been themselves lately, and if it has really messed with your life.

[mntleo2]

1. The Pit Of My Stomach

I have had this sense of anxiety as if something was about to happen and I feel it like a big ball in my stomach. It is a similar feeling I get when I am about to speak publically along with having a lot of coffee in my system, lol. I was on my way to church the other day and as I was driving, I am thinking, "what the hell is going on? I only had 1/2 cup of coffee, I am feeling ok, I took my diabetes meds, I got lots of sleep, nothing is out of the ordinary, why the hell am I feeling this? It has been with me ever since too. I read on another thread here that the moon is about to go through an eclipse and we are passing through something astrologically and on to something else, so I am wondering if it has anything to do with that.

As for being messy, well I am ADD and so I am always messy and disorganized ~ but hey I can multi-task pretty good if I am not really really into something and then tunnel instead, lol :D I spend a great deal of my time trying to organize and it is a never ending circle.

Love
Cat

[SeattleGirl]

3. Thanks, Cat.

And thanks for the PM.

[LaurenG]

2. Yes

Many of the things you've listed I've felt as well. There are times when I wonder how we've held up as well as we have. There are so many things happening all the time. I hope that you'll be gentle with yourself while you move through this transformation of SeattleGirl. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

4. I'm working on not beating myself up much.

I used to be a champ at knocking myself when I wasn't "perfect" (I was often battered and bruised, psychologically speaking, since no way am I perfect), but I've eased off. And reading the posts on this thread, as well as some astrology sites, has helped me to understand why I might be feeling and acting this way.

Thanks, darlin'. :hug:

[Cleita]

5. It may be physical. When is the last time you had a check-up?

There might be a reason your energy is being sapped. With me it was asthma. Yes, the doctors thought I was anemic and yet I never tested as anemic so I just went through life trying to caffeinate myself to get through the day. But finally an asthma attack sent me into the emergency room. The caffeine did help the asthma although I didn't know I had it then. The reason I was so listless was that I wasn't getting enough oxygen and that was why I was having the same symptons as anemia, which also deprives you of oxygen because there aren't enough red cells to propel the oxygen through your system.

[SeattleGirl]

6. I've actually seen my doc a couple of times in the past few months.

I think with me its more mental and spiritual, but I agree that checking to see if something is physically wrong is definitely something one should check out early on. And I have, so physical stuff is ruled out. Thanks Cleita.

[Sanity Claws]

7. Me too

Unfortunately it's been longer than 6 months.
Yesterday I made a dent in one of the piles and today I'm tackling more. I hope this is a sign that I'm feeling better and will be able to pull it together.

[SeattleGirl]

8. Frustrating, isn't it?

Glad you have at least made a dent in things.

[ricochetastroman]

9. Paralyzed

I've had a lot of astrology clients report the same feeling over the past month. Largely, I have seen it as the strong Saturn opposition to Neptune that took place on 8/31. Feeling like "sooner or later, it's gonna hit the fan." Well, it did for many then. A feeling like you just have to deal with something that is unpleasant but nevertheless you must deal with it. In many ways I think people have indirectly had a feeling like their connection to Source has dried up. I feel that this is true and that it is temporary.

The big-time Jupiter square to Neptune that's been with us since February has given us a big lift and a new sense of Connection. That connection has been a bit dampened recently.

I do think the mood is going to shift real quickly now, and over the next few days with the Uranian eclipse coming on the 7th.

People in my Pennsylvania Astrology group also have been reporting a sense of apprehension. I'd take a close look at your chart along the 18 Leo/Aquarius axis.

Hope that helps some.

[SeattleGirl]

11. I actually have a couple of things I have to deal with that I'm

resisting, even though I know that sticking my head in the sand is not the answer. Perhaps part of my paralysis is the two forces -- wanting/needing to deal with these things vs. wanting to continue to put it off. That's probably where a lot of my energy is going to -- the internal fight between these two forces.

Thanks for the info.

[MorningGlow]

10. Yeppers!

We moved into a new house (well, an old house, but new to us) just after Christmas of last year, and neither DH nor I have been very motivated to renovate the place. That wouldn't be so bad, except within the first month we ripped it to shreds! Now we're living amidst plaster dust and still-packed boxes. And here it is nine months later! You wanna talk about piles--! Yikes! :crazy:

Check out the link in the OP of this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x26673

It sounds like you've got quite a few sympotms of spiritual awakening (there are about 50 at the link)--namely feeling like a big change is coming, shedding old habits and lifestyle choices, etc. If you're anything like the rest of us here, tussling with the Shift, bet you've got even more! :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

12. Thanks, MorningGlow

Printing out the info at the link now, so I can read it this evening.

:hi: