well, dammit, I was in a car last Saturday morning

[villager]

I'm okay -- my old car is totaled (it doesn't take much in the way of damages to total it).

I was hit in an intersection -- but the fault, I'm pretty sure, is at least half mine. Which is a hard admission to make, since I've always fancied myself a pretty good driver.

But this comes at the end of a long long period of stress and anxiety -- over finances (post-divorce; after years of legal separation, the ex and I are making it final), career path (published writer, new book due out, but the last year as been a struggle), getting "focus," all while being a half-time single dad to two boys (oh, and caring for the convalescent old dog my Ex booted out of the house when we split).

My plate feels more than full -- and in one moment of not paying attention, I'm in a shitty situation of more "dented up" finances than I had before. And more anxiety.

Except, I don't want that anymore. I post this here, because I'm really ready to "let go" of all this distraction and too much living-in-my-head.

I started a morning meditation this a.m. -- I've been an erratic meditator, at best, in recent years.

I have to do something to change the spiritual dynamics coursing around me right now.

Blessing-wise, I'm okay. Neither of my boys was with me. I'm considering it one hell of a clarion call from the universe, and trying to get my house in order.

Any thoughts, ideas, from the good people here, always welcome, of course...

take care,
Villager

[Cleita]

1. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm happy you are okay.n/t

[villager]

2. thanks! Yeah, I am trying to keep it in perspective

as much of a drag as it was...

I'm still here and okay.

my sons weren't involved, etc.

[Grateful for Hope]

3. They say

the best accidents are those you can walk away from (I think I heard this from a good poster in this group). I was in a car accident in May, and, while my car was not totalled, it took a month for them to repair the damage. I was rear-ended by an SUV (I have a little Mini Cooper).

I went through a lot of soul-searching after it happened. Like, was it my fault in some way because of some unconscious thooughts, etc.

Now, I am just grateful that I was not hurt. It could have been so much worse.

I am very glad you are ok...and, I hope you will be able to buy another car without too much financial strain.

:hug:

[villager]

6. well, my inattenativeness was a factor...

...I have to face up to that.

And it's really making me consider "the work" left undone; how much I've been in my head, and not in the real moment, etc.

Thanks for your good wishes!

[marions ghost]

4. I know the feeling...

...a "long period of stress and anxiety" punctuated by a speed bump like an accident, immediately followed by a sudden urge to take up daily meditation. :hug:s to you villager
There is stress everywhere I look...nobody seems immune in this culture. You are not alone.

I can attest to the benefits of meditation, as I used to do it regularly and it makes all the difference. However I also have been through a long period of stress and anxiety and I know how hard it is to let yourself really relax into meditation when you feel so strung out. You just want to sleep if you have some extra time, or at least I do. But of course this is when you probably need it the most. When things are closing in, there's a need to expand time and create space for oneself that is almost 'urgent.' There's a strong need to center and refocus. To heal and refresh. To take a break from the chaos of life these days (since chewing the cud on the front porch has gone by the wayside). But there's a hump to get over when trying to get into the meditation habit again. Let us know if you succeed in doing that.

I do some writing and am also a "head-liver." I totally relate to the desperate wish to keep the rotors from falling off and get some grounding somehow. My issues I have been wrestling with in recent years also involve close family but more like sibling clashes, ailing relatives, watching my stepfather of 25 years court his new girlfriend while my mother was dying, during which we had the delightful experience of getting badly ripped off by a contractor working on our vintage 70's fixer-upper...you know, the usual garbage, with the residual anger. "All this and the Reign of King George" too...I say to people. I do understand the urge to let go of all these distractions. Because you know that's what they are, and yet the inner tapes play over and over. We need to be stronger in the inner sense to face even more turbulent times ahead in this country.

Anyway I send understanding and support for your meditation practice. Tell us about what method you use if you like. Or something. Whatever. :)

[villager]

8. thanks for your good, thoughtful post!

"All this and the reign of King George, too." Indeed.

So far, basic Zen "breath counting." Had to use it again this afternoon when I felt myself getting anxious. Cupped hands, crossed legs.

Reminds me of what I've read about enlightenment: "What did I do before I was enlightened? Chopped wood, carried water. What do I do after? Chop wood, carry water."

I've always "known" this, but haven't taken it in. Midlife, growing boys who need me -- and the universe's wake up call this weekend -- have all served to help "wake me up."

[marions ghost]

10. Its all about the waves

I did Zen meditation for awhile with a Buddhist group. I liked it, the "emptying out"... once you get your back and butt comfortable (we used those little round zabuton cushions). I have also done various forms of Indian mantra meditation and vedic chanting. I'm not fond of guided meditation as I get tired of hearing words. But whatever gets your alpha waves flowing...
------
Alpha (8-12 Hz)

Alpha waves are those between 7.5 and 13(Hz). Alpha waves will peak around 10Hz. Good healthy alpha production promotes mental resourcefulness, aids in the ability to mentally coordinate, enhances overall sense of relaxation and fatigue. In this state you can move quickly and efficiently to accomplish whatever task is at hand. When Alpha predominates most people feel at ease and calm. Alpha appears to bridge the conscious to the subconscious.

It is the major rhythm seen in normal relaxed adults - it is present during most of life especially beyond the thirteenth year when it dominates the resting tracing. Alpha rhythms are reported to be derived from the white matter of the brain. The white matter can be considered the part of the brain that connects all parts with each other.

Alpha is a common state for the brain and occurs whenever a person is alert (it is a marker for alertness and sleep), but not actively processing information. They are strongest over the occipital (back of the head) cortex and also over frontal cortex. Alpha has been linked to extroversion (introverts show less), creativity (creative subjects show alpha when listening and coming to a solution for creative problems), and mental work. When your alpha is with in normal ranges we tend to also experience good moods, see the world truthfully, and have a sense of calmness. Alpha is one of the brain's most important frequency to learn and use information taught in the classroom and on the job.

You can increase alpha by closing your eyes or deep breathing or decrease alpha by thinking or calculating. Alpha-Theta training can create an increase in sensation, abstract thinking and self-control. In our car scenario, Alpha would represent neutral or idle. Alpha allows us to shift easily from one task to another.

Distribution: regional, usually involves entire lobe; strong occipital w/eyes closed
Subjective feeling states: relaxed, not agitated, but not drowsy; tranquil, conscious
Associated tasks & behaviors: meditation, no action
Physiological correlates: relaxed, healing
Effects of Training: can produce relaxation
Sub band low alpha: 8-10: inner-awareness of self, mind/body integration, balance
Sub band high alpha: 10-12: centering, healing, mind/body connection

http://www.crossroadsinstitute.org/eeg.html

[cassiepriam]

5. The universe is trying to tell you something?

The stress and tension is starting to take its toll and put you
in harm's way. What else are you not paying attention to that is important?

Time to slow down, be more careful, start paying attention.
Take stock of your life. Maybe time to get back to spiritual basics, prayer and meditation daily. Only has to be 10 minutes a day. Start saying positive affirmations. Set some spiritual goals.

Start eating better, getting sleep and some exercise. Get away from the computor screen now that the book is done! You know the drill. If you do not take care of yourself, what will happen to your boys?

You are very lucky no one was hurt. The children were safe. And yes, any accident you can walk away from is a good accident. Thank the universe for an easy lesson and make sure you learn the lesson that was sent your way.

[villager]

7. "an easy lesson" -- I like that

Even with the pain in the ass financial part upcoming (replacement car, insurance raised, etc.) yes: An easy lesson compared to what might've been.

And one I need to take in.

[Cerridwen]

9. My thoughts are with you.

I'm reminded of a something I just read in, "How We Live our Yoga" - "God touches us with a feather to get our attention. Then, if we don't listen, he starts throwing bricks."

Be careful. Be mindful. Be safe.

Brightest Blessings to You, Villager.

~Cerridwen




:hug:

[villager]

17. this morning it was a tree!

I woke up to find a tree in the front yard had fallen over the driveway -- nothing was hit, but I spent the morning sawing branches in order to clear a passage...

hmm....

[Digit]

11. An overload of stress and anxiety can indeed make you preoccupied

It is good that neither you or anyone else was hurt.
I wish you all the best.

[villager]

12. thanks...

n/t

[BlueIris]

13. OMG! At least you're okay, though.

I agree with you, though, that the universe is trying to get you to make some major adjustments, or continue to make good on those you have already made. I've only had one serious accident which...wasn't my fault, damnit, but still make me feel like the Worst. Driver. Ever...and realized a year later that it had served a specific and essential purpose WRT my path.

[villager]

15. or "make good on those you have arleady made"

hmm... I liked that, too...

[LWolf]

14. (((hugs))) your way.

I'm so glad to hear that you are ok. I was just thinking about you, as I'm gearing up for a new year at work, and setting up the library, with new additions.

No instantanous ideas here, but I'll let it "brew" for awhile and let ya know. Meanwhile, I'm sending a blessing to you and to your geriatric charge; just a soft, clear breeze to move some of the tension out and give some clarity.

:hug:

[villager]

16. such a breeze - for me and my charge! --

absolutely, hungrily welcomed!

[Dover]

18. old car.....old dog.......old life.

My tree falls over.


Where do you feel the anxiety in your body? Go to it...be with it for awhile. Feel it. Listen.

[yellowdawgdem]

19. Glad you weren't injured

I've had a few friends recently who've been in car accidents- one person was in 2 of them- and I had a bad one last year in which my friend's car was totalled. I've really thought alot about these accidents, and have come to the conclusion that people are less settled, less attentive, for lots of reasons. And of course this causes more auto accidents. I know that getting your car crunched and walking away from it is good overall, but it also leaves a residue of unanswered questions. It's probably good to try and answer the questions if you can. But if you can't find a rhyme nor reason for what happened- maybe the message is simply to exert extra care during day to day activities that we often take for granted. Our world is more than a little chaotic at the moment, and though most of us don't talk about that directly, they might be experiencing it. :)

[villager]

20. part of the general "unsettlement"

it makes sense, and yes, still would seem to pique a need to be more "fully awake" than I have been. Thanks...

[Why Syzygy]

21. I was in a total one day

on the way to a class to renew my professional license. I was worried about how I was going to pay the $43 renewal fee which was due the next day. Like you said, one inatentive second later and I had a much bigger bill to pay. I learned to never worry about finances while driving. Probably not a good time to worry about anything. Glad you're okay.

[villager]

22. glad you're okay, too!

yes, sometimes it's all about perspective...