Astrologers - anyone interested in a little analysis?

[rbnyc]

I'm going through a strange time right now. Both at work and in my personal life (I don't even quite know why I separate them) I am having some kind of awakening or approaching an opportunity so create meaningful change where there has been long stagnation. I am feeling more powerful and lucid, but it feels very delicate, tenuous. Whatever I do over the next few weeks will have big consequences, I know. I almost feel up to it.

I'm also struggling with a lot of old emotional baggage and relearning things I thought I'd already learned.

I know I'm most own worst enemy. I think the challenges are "out there" but if I fuck up it will be because I sabotaged myself, or put up resistance to doing something differently, even when I know the old way doesn't work and the new way might.

Would any astrologers like to make a generous donation of their time and talent to take a look at my chart and tell me what the heck is going on?

Thanks so much!!!



Edit: typo

[graceastrology]

1. your horoscope...

hi rb,

you haven't provided your birth data, which it makes it difficult to look at certain measurements that would give an astrologer more details. first, take a look at ric's post about saturn in libra; this aspect is especially relevant in your life right now. i imagine issues of discipline, focus and ambition (and what is needed in order to realize ambition) are up for you now. you may also be feeling a sense of lack -- or being squeezed and/or controlled by authority -- and yes, these issues are manifesting in your work: how you are of service; how you are -- or can be -- cooperating with others. it is likely you got a whiff of this last year...

what was going on in your life 28 years ago? 14 years ago?

another aspect i see active in your chart (as of march 2011, with a glimpse of it happening a year ago), concerns illumination and potential upsets in relationship/partnership. it may be time to let some relationships go, though i'd prefer to have all your data before making that statement. it makes sense that you would say you thought you'd dealt with these issues years ago; the upset/illumination has to do with old patterns buried deep, that can lead to self-undoing if you do not shine light on them. but it sounds like you ARE aware of them, which is encouraging!

why does your horoscope suggest a need to march to the beat of your own drummer? to do your own thing, especially in your vocation? what is the disconnect likely felt about fitting in, that is perhaps being challenged for you now? why does your horoscope also suggest you may give yourself away to other people, at the expense of developing your own talents and meeting your own needs? how is it that others may take advantage of your natural inclination to put yourself "out there"?

your horoscope suggests great resources, and a need to be concerned with "big picture" issues: spiritual, philosophical, political, educational.

all best,
EG

[rbnyc]

2. Thank you.

I was born October 3rd, 1968.

I am dealing with a not-for-profit phenomenon called founder's syndrome, in which the founder of an organization never learns to share power as the organization grows. It always comes to a crisis point and I have entered the organization at that point. The staff has been unhappy for many years and there is a lot of gossip, resentment, and sniping at one another. I tend to see each person's point of view when I speak to that person. With so many co-workers divided against each other, the fact that I cannot align myself with any side makes some people distrust me. I am struggling to lead and set an example for my coworkers and to manage up and guide the founder to a place where she can let certain things go, accept help, structure, tools, things that have felt threatening to her because they mean externalizing systems instead of all information and authority residing within her. The Board has been struggling with this with no success for years and now pin their hopes on me.

At home, I do struggle with my husband's temper and unhappiness with his work situation and his relationship with his parents, but I feel we have a great foundation and we communicate well. We work together and things improve, it's just not always easy and I wouldn't expect it to be.

I have had a very up and down relationship with my mother...mostly down. There was a period about 8 years ago that I spent a lot of effort making a place for her in my life and some of that was very gratifying. But at core, I don't trust her and I am actually still angry at her for so many things. This mother's day I was unable to call her. I really only feel comfortable communicating with her on facebook.

I have also gained about 60 pounds in 7 years. I need to move more, get out more. But I feel so much shame about my appearance, I often opt to stay home, which I know doesn't help.

I have an addictive personality. I no longer abuse drugs and alcohol, but I think I have just replaced them with food, the internet and video games.

I realized the other day when my son was spending the weekend with grandma and grandpa and we had musicians over for a recording session that the fact that I am no longer writing music, playing guitar, singing, and journaling has a lot to do with how unbalanced I have become.

14 years ago is when I first met my husband. 28 years ago was my first year of high school.

I will look at ric's post.

Saturn bugs the crap out of me.

:evilgrin:

EDIT: factual error - bad subtraction

Thanks again. I really appreciate it.