I let it go...

[FirstLight]

I released my newspaper project today.

At first blush, in October, it seemed like a dream come true. Running my own online News org...and the publisher wanted me to handle the whole thing...
well, months later, continuous changes in technical approaches and no contract made me look at things differently. The guy wanted me to run it as a franchise - meaning I would shoulder all of the start up costs, from having to buy my own Iphone to chamber membership. And then i would have to generate ad revenue to even SEE any kind of profit. I'm not a salesperson, i am a writer. and I would rather write about things i 'get'....hard news has always been a stretch. I was really wondering if I could pull it off after writing PR and Features for the past decade...not to mention that I don't understand half the stuff that goes on at City Council, lol

I wanted to wait until I knew it wasn't my own fears about not doing well that were stopping me from moving forward.
but the latest 'hurry up & wait' steps from the publisher, while he continued to tweek the techy stuff and the avoid a contract was kind of the last straw.

Now I see that for me, it is more about stability and security and feeding my family *easily*
...NOT trying to build something from scratch when I am in a place of survival and angst, then my sales pitch would be more desperation than professionalism.

I spent 9 months last year and drove to sacramento for school...it was to help me find a place to go professionally that would sustain us. I've been worried about not wanting to go 'corporate' ...but there are employers out there that are more aligned with equality & truth...I can manifest that. and the reality is that I need to work for someone who HAS the money, who can PAY ME.

so while i may not be revolutionizing the online news industry...I think my training in Human Resources could allow me to touch more lives in a positive way...

*whew* I feel relieved.

[I Have A Dream]

1. I bet that's a load off of your shoulders!

Congratulations for making the decision that allows you to continue to follow your chosen path rather than getting lost in a quagmire of never-ending tasks that don't feed you.

:thumbsup:

Good luck, FirstLight! You've come a long way, baby! :)

[FirstLight]

2. what's strange

is that I had a sentimental attachment to Jurnalism and the whole news thing. So realizing that it isn;t in the cards for me at this time or maybe it is a past experience and something I may never do the same way again. That's okay, and a real mind-flip, cuz I though that's what I wanted the MOST.

And i really *did* enjoy the classes and what I learned last year, so I hope I can USE it towards a more successful end!
thanks Ihad :hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

3. Just pay attention to what's coming your way

Everything you've done will be useful. We just never know quite how our story will unfold, but it's certainly full of twists and turns.

[FirstLight]

4. he he

ain't that the truth!!!

[FirstLight]

5. big meeting with the HUD program today...

I have been enrolled in this Family Self-Sufficiency Program for almost five years...supposedly i am done in 2011 i think.

The program is meant for HUD folks who have a little more drive and goals. The HUD and EDD partner to help us meet educational, budgeting, and home related goals...meanwhile as we take on more of our own rent, the difference of what HUD would pay goes into an escro acct and is awarded to us at the end of 5 years.

When I signed onto the program, i was making $12.50 an hour as a receptionist. I have not banked any escrow since then.
The guy who ran the program did it haphhazardly and so I have goals on there from three years ago when i was looking at being a nutritionist.
So they brought in the gal who runs the program in Placerville, (the county seat)and she is revamping all of our files.

Today I get to set realistic goals, and look at what I have ALREADY done to meet my benchmarks.

I've managed to find a home and stay there and make improvements for 2-3 years - even having the home 'greened' by the energy efficiency program, all free of charge to the owner.
I completed a certification in HR Management at Sacramento State University.... commuting 100+ miles for each class, and now can put on my resume that i am an "alumni" (which I never thought I would be in my life)
I have been running my own business for 3+ years, and I have managed to have a few more clients than just the one 'steady'
I took a Dreamweaver class and integrated it into my business offering web design. (and though i hate doing it, i *can*)
I started a Drumming circle of my own at the local chiropractic clinic, while learning workshop development & facilitation for the past 8 years with my client/mentor

I guess I am not as much of a slacker as I 'think' I am....! ;)

[I Have A Dream]

6. Yay you!

Good work. It's a great start to a bright future.

:D

[OneGrassRoot]

7. Bravo!!!

This is very, VERY impressive, FL!!!

:applause:

[FirstLight]

8. a whole new twist...

I just got a 'stay of execution'
see, the program started me when i was making big bucks, and i have nothing in the escrow acct because i have not been able to make more thasn that and take on more rent, in fact my portion has only gone down as my income has...

so,instead of finishing the program in May 2011 with nothing, she's taking me OFF the program until after september and then reinstatiing me...that gives me another 5 years to make some headway!!!

AND this is the lady who has the connections and knowledge and resources for me to get into the non=profit/Public sector and work with those who need it the most!


wow, just wow...
this eclipse was firing in my career/finances/purpose sector, can we tell?