Please, help.

[lildreamer316]

I know EVERYONE is going through all of this completley out-of-this-world stuff right now; that it's just not me.
I know that whatever is happening is supposed to happen to get out the old bull and clear the way for the new.
But I'm so miserable and paraonoid and heartbroken and I think it's quite possible it will get worse (Saturday's eclipse and etc.) and I just don't know what to do to make myself feel better;or what to think.
If anyone has any good advice that I can make sense of (I'm so upset i'm not thinking clearly now, so you've really got to spell it out for me)
Or if anyone is getting any energetic vibes on me and my relationship I would be grateful.
I do apologize because I know ALL of you are carrying your own burdens right now and I dont' want to seem like a selfish pig.
If for nothing else, thank you and bless you all for being here and I hope that when I am stronger I can return the favor.
I'm so g-d insecure right now it's not even funny. Anyone else?

Love you guys. Really. :grouphug:

[Habibi]

1. Right there with you, my dear.

Feel like I need to hold hands with somebody as we approach a cliff to jump off of! I chant "all will be well, and all will be well, and all will be well." For some reason, it helps calm me.

[lildreamer316]

9. I will try that

Habibi.
Isn't it hilarious how the older one gets, the more one talks to one's self (even out loud) and you don't even care who hears after awhile? :)
Thanks so much for your kindness.

[2Design]

2. for the past two months as I lay down to sleep I put my hands over my heart chakra

and ask the universal life force to send energy and heal my broken heart and lungs - it seems to help with the loving yourself attitude - not a fix but a help

[lildreamer316]

10. I tried that last night..

it did seem to calm me a bit. Thank you!

[MorningGlow]

3. Oh honey

I'm so sorry to hear you're still going through some tough times. I wish this weren't so. :( :hug:

I wish I had some recommendations for you, but all I can say is just...breathe. Take some time for yourself, listen to music that soothes you, and listen to your gut if you're wondering what to do next. And never forget that we're all sending you light for your ultimate happiness. :grouphug:

[OneGrassRoot]

4. I echo MG's thoughts and advice....

sending you abundant hugs of love and support...I'm so sorry you're in pain.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[lildreamer316]

11. Ooo!

All those hugs just gave me a warm bath..bless you and thank you so much. :hug:

[lildreamer316]

12. Thanks, MG,

but my gut is what is confusing me at the moment..or sort of..or something.

It was giving me a warning; but I can find no major concrete evidence of the thing that it was warning me about. And the people involved keep protesting that they have done nothing wrong. Now I feel guilty for being suspicious and paranoid and am being made to feel guilty *about* being paranoid. I can't get some of the things that have been said to me out of my head. A person that I thought was going to become a great new friend is now someone that I'm wondering what her motives are; and if she has a hidden agenda. But I don't want to be the kind of person that always thinks the worst of people. In fact, in the past I have always done the opposite..thought the best of people; and of course been blindsided a couple of times. But I was determined not to let that change my outlook on people and to find the good spark in them. So, have I just finally 'jumped the shark' and become jaded and suspicious when I have no cause to be? Am I regressing spiritually? I am angry at myself for possibly becoming more closed off instead of more open. That's no way to deal with the coming new energy, and I damn well know it.

It's such a mess, and HE keeps getting angry that I am not 'letting it go'. He says he's tired of being punished for something that he hasn't even done. But I feel as if it was done; if not physically; then mentally/in his imagination/spiritually/whathaveyou. To me that's just as bad, if not worse (because of the connection that we usually have).

AH whatever. Thanks so much for your kind and loving thoughts. I'm sure that whatever I need to learn I am learning. LOL - Sigh. :)
:hug:

[MorningGlow]

20. Check your PM n/t

[Kookaburra]

22. Lil Dreamer, you have to feel what you feel

Well, to begin with, you know that you are highly intuitive and empathic, so whatever you are picking up is most likely there, even if the other parties involved don't yet realize it. I'm guessing you can also tell the difference between true intuition and paranoia.

Let yourself work through these feelings without judgment to find what is the basis of your unease about the situation, and don't let the protests of the others involved side-track you.

Sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope the energy I've been sending has helped.

:hug:

[lildreamer316]

23. It has

helped! It really has.

As of the eclipse today and with everyone's loving energy; I think we've gotten some good clarification on the issues. They are not all gone; but I'm better able today to stand back and get the bigger picture. Bless you. :hug:

[Dora]

5. MG is right, breathe.

And yes, nurture yourself. Baths, music, food that's good for your body and your soul. Exercise of any kind - walking, dancing, yoga, running. This will help your body to process what your head and your heart are also processing.

When worries arise, acknowledge them, and release. Avoid fear-based thinking, and don't be afraid of what you don't know. It has helped me to remind myself that much fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. If you don't know something, then don't know it, and know that the answer will come to you when it does. Accept the gap, the unfilled blank space.

I can't offer any vibes on your relationship. But I can offer the advice that you not resist the truth of whatever it is that's happening. I'm going to share about myself now, not because I think my experience parallels yours, but because it's a story of my own resistance. My husband and I have had an intermittently tumultuous relationship for years, and for those years I resisted the truth of what was happening. We've separated now, and I've accepted what I've been resisting for years. It has been a beautiful gift to find that I'm happier today than I was six weeks ago, when I believed I was committed to working it out. And I've learned that there's a huge gap between what I believed for all those years, and what I knew to be true, and by sticking to what I believed, I was resisting the truth. And oh, boy, the ending/changing of this relationship is still difficult, I'm now dealing with an angry (and resistant) husband, talking about child custody, division of property - things that I thought were terrifying before - but I'm being true and practicing honesty, and it's that honesty that's keeping the light on and the path clear, one step at a time.

It helps to focus on the tasks of living. "Chop wood, carry water." In those sleepless wee hours when the benadryl wears off and I wake up and can't get back to sleep because my head begins obsessing over the drama, I get myself out of bed and write it out in my journal, unrestrained, unedited.

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of your life. Nurture it. Be kind to yourself. Accept your own feelings. Protect yourself: set your own boundaries, and allow yourself to enforce them. Be honest with yourself. Show yourself compassion. Feed, clothe, and shelter yourself. Love yourself as you would a child.

You'll be okay. In truth, you always have been.

[lildreamer316]

13. Oh Goddess, Dora

Thank you Thank You Thank you.

I'm going to keep this and re-read it every day; probably every other hour at this point. I will probably print it out.
Bless you.

[stellanoir]

6. PM me if you'd like me to take a look at your chart dear.

You'll get through this though the energies are indeed a bit dense right now so it may seem as though they are thoroughly impenetrable.

They are not.. It's just one of those epically strange times of "critical mass" on oh so many levels.

Of course a sensitive one such as yourself would be feeling it.

Glad that you were wise enough to reach out.

Great blessings to you and yours.

[lildreamer316]

14. Thank you Stella..

I may take you up on that...

[Missy Vixen]

7. lildreamer, I'm taking your hand across the miles

We can get through this.

You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside, you always have been, and you always will be.

I'm hoping that you realize how important you are to so many people.

It's okay. I second the recommendation of the other posters -- you need extreme self-care right now. A bath, a great book to read, something to eat that you enjoy would be a great start.

Thinking of you.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
-MV/Julie

[lildreamer316]

15. Thanks Missy..

I am trying :)
Got a whole TUB of strawberry cheesecake ice cream waiting on me in the freezer..:)
Your post made me cry. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear those words.
Thank you. :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

8. Sweetie, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I'm sending as much love and light your way as I can muster. Always remember that so many people love you both here and in other areas of your life. I will help you however I can; please just ask.

:loveya:

[lildreamer316]

16. IHAD,

you help me by my just knowing that you are there; and that I am honored to have someone like you as a friend. I am a bit angry at myself right now because I have realized I have some boundaries that make me a less open person than I believed myself to be. I know I need to accept these things about myself; but I wanted to believe that I could 'take on anything'; as it were. I'm also afraid that because of those boundaries; the person I love will not love me the same anymore because he thought I was the kind of person who did not have those boundaries. Hope that made a bit of sense; probably not.

AHH! Eh. Ok. Thank you again. :) :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

17. Just remember that relationships need to constantly evolve...

to be able to continue to grow. I can completely empathize with what you're saying in your earlier posts above; I would feel the same way.

We all have our boundaries whether we like it or not. You've just discovered another fact about yourself; it doesn't make you "less than" or a "bad" person. I am an extremely jealous person if put in a situation where I feel threatened or if I feel disrespected. Otherwise, I give the person in my life absolute freedom. I suspect that the same is true of you. You deserve to be able to feel secure in your relationship. The person who loves you needs to take this into account just as you would do with his issues as long as they're not unreasonable.

[I Have A Dream]

18. I just received this...

It's the eve of a momentous Full Moon and lunar eclipse (Saturday, June 26th at 7:30 and 7:38 am Eastern), when the doorway of possibilities is flung wide open. I wish you trust in life, despite how things may seem. And love for yourself and others, along with the faith that no matter what happens, you'll be ok.

http://astrology.about.com/b/2010/06/25/eve-of-the-eclipse.htm

:hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

19. There is so much wisdom already in this thread...

but I want to add that something that has helped me when my heart was hurting was asking my angels to let me feel their love, and to soothe my heart. If angels don't resonate with you, your guides or goddesses should be able to step in as well. :) It has never failed me when I can calm myself enough to open up to them.

I also sometimes think back to other times when I was afraid or sad, to reflect on how at the time, everything seemed so dark and yet, things got better. Also, sometimes things I was afraid of never happened, and sometimes things that did happen in retrospect could not have happened any other way; things truly happen in perfection for our paths. When fear and worry seem to overwhelm me, I try to remember that worrying and its stress never kept anything from happening, so I ask myself, why surrender to that awful state?

Please remember you are loved by many on this earth and beyond. I'm so glad you came here to share and I really hope things turn around
for you soon, lildreamer.
:hug: :hug:

:loveya:

[rumpel]

21. I wish I had some solution for you

I agree with you to believe in the inherent good in people, even though there are disappointments along the way.

One way, when we are wallowing in the extreme negative state, such as being paranoid is to just ask one simple question: Is it true? Or is it just one of many possibilities?

I do not get any particular gut feelings on your new friend..I do hope it will work out for you.

Sending you positive vibes

:hug:

:grouphug:

[laylah]

24. I am so sorry for your upset.

All I have to offer is love, prayers, and :hug: All WILL be well eventually. It is the "eventually" part that has many of us, at least me, in a tizzy. I have NO idea, I feel a "pregnant" feeling, like something good is going to happen, yet, I have felt that way for weeks, if not for months.

In the meantime, I will send prayers and Creator's Infinite Love your way.

jenn

[WhiteTara]

25. I feel your pain

and give you big hugs. That's all we can do for each other cause this is a VERY hard time.