I need to Get a Life....

[FirstLight]

I have been a hermit far too long. Part of the reason i have been having such a hard toime detaching from my last BF experience was the fact that he took me out and introduced me to people and places ...

My life is so much work, cleaning, caretaking, cooking...how do i even BEGIN to cultivate a life separate and fun from that? I don't want to hang out in bars and that is not the type of people i want to be around. I am in a small rural town and all my friends are married...

ug, I know i will have to pursue other venues...like maybe toastmasters or business mixers. My 40th Bday is next month (new years) and i have NObody to go out with... WTF?

seems like my 'old wizard in the tower' ways and the need to heal and caretake self have backfired and now I have no playmates...

just feeling sorry for myself i suppose, but i just HAVE to shift this. Maybe joining a Healthlub or something will help...

[MorningGlow]

1. Hey

You're doing it again! Stop reading my mind!
:rofl:

I am in the exact same situation (surprise, surprise, twin). I can go for weeks without talking to anyone IRL except for Mr. MG, MG Jr., and my mom. Seriously. I'm looking for groups to join around here as well (another rural place), but so far I haven't come up with anything. I might join the Y...I might join a UU church (although all three in this area are pretty far away)...I might get more active in MG Jr's Tiger Cubs...I'd love to find a choral society or other kind of singing group. But honestly, nothing's "speaking" to me right now.

The one thing I really HAVE to do is force myself to schedule time to be social, which I haven't been doing. Local DUers (you know who you are! and yes, I'm being a slug about scheduling coffee!), old high school friends I reconnected with on FB, etc.--I WANT to hang with them, but somehow I haven't gotten up off my ass to make it happen yet. Seems like it's too easy to think "Well, I'll do it later" and I put work, kid, house, and everything else first, then weeks slip by before I notice.

Maybe we're still at the tail end of our necessary hermit phase and we can see our lives and the world changing, and we know we'll have to get out there and be a part of it, but it's still a ways off...? :shrug:

[FirstLight]

3. Ya!

Get off your ass, wouldja? sheesh! :rofl:

I just sent an email to the local toastmasters group and i am going to try and get more involved with chamber of commerce mixers, good way to network AND maybe meet some successful hot guy while i am at it! (ya, here's hopin')

The hermit thing is hard because I feel like there are plenty of poeple i WANT to get closer to, but they already HAVE their lives and don't need me clinging to them because i am trying to make new friends! what a geek!

There's a good friend of mine who also mentioned 'scheduling' social time, so maybe we will try & do karaoke once a week or something too...i just need to cut loose and stop identifying my good social outings with the exBF... (I have a couple friends that came out of that relationship, but they live in CArson and are drinkers, so bar hopping is really their only adventure, and after a while that is just NOT fun in your 40's! besides, i am not into meeting men of that nature...)


a yoga class is coming too...i will be doing that by January so can at least meet some 'healthier' folks...I hope!

[MorningGlow]

4. I wanna do karaoke! I wanna do karaoke!

For the umpteenth time, why are there 3,000 miles between us? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Oh--right--because together we would cause WAAAAYYYYY too much trouble!
:rofl:

[conscious evolution]

2. Try a Yoga class

In addition to being a good way to meet people very few fundies do yoga cause its 'satanic'.

[Cleita]

12. Great suggestion and in my gym I have seen some really cute guys going

into the Yoga classes. They are too young for me but just the right age for FirstLight. Definitely worth a try.

[FirstLight]

13. cool!

starting a yoga class at the college next quarter... meantime i may try a class or two at the studio...the teacher is my Meditation teacher and i LOVE her energy!Looking forward to being in that space 2 x a week, too...

ya, meeting cute guys is a bonus! feeling good about myself is the NEED! ;)

cross your fingers, i really choose to meet some new friends but mostly someone i can DATE wholeheartedly who is really INTO ME for all the right reasons.
..and please, God, let him be Enlightened!

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. Here you go.

See, problem solved.

http://www.amazon.com/Get-Life-Vol-Chris-Elliott/dp/B00003PE9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1259183564&sr=8-1

;) :hi:

[FirstLight]

6. uh, thanks....not!

:rofl:

that guy bugs me! lol but the idea of some comedy may be in order...i should see if i can get tix to the local comedy club... ;)

[FirstLight]

7. so here's what i did proactively today...

Found the local Toastmasters chapter and emailed them to find out when te next meeting is... 12/2

looked up Yoga at the Community College, tu/thurs 1-3pm ...the new quarter starts January 4th

and I'm searching for a good karaoke place to hang out locally...


(MG- ya, we would get into WAY too mcuh trouble! but we should stil try to swing a meetup next time one of us is on he opposits coast! )

I guess the biggest thing to focus on is that I *do* have plenty of friends and support...just that they are dispersed about the states and i can feel very isolated up here on the mountain. It is also a winter thing, so i need to keep walking every morning and get sunshine on my face.

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. The grass is always greener...literally.

I'd love to be alone up on a mountain, versus living in South Central Los Angeles.

Ne'er the twain shall meet.

[FirstLight]

9. I know!

I love my trees and can't live without the...but i often miss the culture, restaurants and 'stuff' to do in the city.

but realistically, I am such a country mouse now i have a hard time with crowds and loudness of any kind! lol

[Fire Walk With Me]

10. Having trees for friends, is a far better thing...

There is a beautiful poem in Zen Flesh, Zen Bones about listening to the pines only when the air is still.. I'll see if I can remember to post that.

BTW, when I say that I'd rather be up a mountain, I mean "alone". I am finished with the human species, in any form except ascended.

"i've stopped waiting for what will not come..." -Front 242

[FirstLight]

11. yes, i know that feeling too

it is one of the reasons i HAVE been such a hermit...and yet i know i am a social creature ...therin lies my conflict. besdies, how am i supposed to find a 'husband' if i don't get out there and lok? (lol, quoting my mother)

:hug: FWWM, i will send you peace from the pines everytime i see the breeze rustling through ;)

[Fire Walk With Me]

15. "...how am i supposed to find a 'husband' if i don't get out there and look?"

Hang out in the local Wal-Mart parking lot? :shrug: ;)

At least, tell your mother that this is your new angle and see if she balks...should be interesting ;)

[FirstLight]

16. hehe and i will look for the ones driving the beat up trucks for sure!

:rofl:


I am definately NOT going out there LOOKING for a husband, sheesh!
Though I *would* like to have some more friends my age and some more people to go out with when i want to play and just BE a grownup. But after dating over the summer it also became painfully obvious that i *do* want romance in my life after all. So I hope that by going out more often i can maybe 'find' some male specimens to enjoy as well.

[Fire Walk With Me]

17. This is the time of manifestation.

So be sure that what you want, is what you want. Best luck!

[FirstLight]

14. So i go to my friend's house last night for dinner...

She is more like a mentor than anything, like a great aunt that you always wanted...so she lives with her brother, who is a drummer and they are very 'cool' folk... and brought my kids and appetizers and trhere were 2 friends of the brother's there... and one was really nice and very cool to talk to and is my age...

And i think he's gay

oh well...maybe another one of the girls to go out with?
:rofl: