My only child is going off to college tomorrow and I am a "burbling. . .

[stellanoir]

mass of protoplasm."

He's only going a couple of hours away.

I'm feeling really hypocritical since I went overseas for almost a whole year when I was 15.

I'm grateful that he has this opportunity but I'm concerned about the benefits of a BA in these times and with this epi generation having Neptune & Uranus in Capricorn (more than likely will have jobs that have not been created) and so many kids I counsel, feel as though they will require post graduate degrees.

Of course I want to see him metaphorically soar and not jump out of any more "perfectly good plane(s)" like he did last month.

It is quite a bittersweet passage though.

The only times he's wanted card readings from me throughout his life, were during the evenings before his first day of school every year since kindergarten.

So I'll give him his annual one tonight.

Yikes.

He just took off for the afternoon and gave me a hug goodbye after overdramatizing (3 planets in Leo) and saying, "I'm leaving for the last time."

I said," you mean you're leaving and coming back in the same day for the last time for a while" and then I proceeded to burst into tears.

He gave me one of his finest "Oh sheesh" looks, while rolling his eyes.

I said, " You knew I'd be emotional about this and it's only because I love you so-o-o much. I'm emotional about everything though."

He laughed and said "I know." I then told him to have fun.

It's surely a rite of passage and is probably something that every mum goes through sooner or later.

I've had several gradations of this "empty nest" thingy over the years. Some of them have been predictably common. Some of them have not.

It's just bizarre that when kids are babies, everything seems to go in slow mo, then as soon as they enter school, time seems to fly by with ever increasing speed.

I know there are many reasons for this phenomenon especially in these times.

Still it's quite a trip.

Just a gentle reminder not to rush one's life and savor each and every moment I guess.

Just felt compelled to share.

:grouphug:

[Celebration]

1. Yes

It's called letting go. Bittersweet, right? You said it! Life sure seems linear at times like this.

I get a little teary eyed thinking about when my youngest one went off to college. Then again, it is hard to forget because we had to walk across a large asphalt parking lot in Houston with the heat index way over a hundred degrees...........

Anyway, give him a big hug from all of us.

:hug:

Yes, and you will get used to an empty nest........And think how cheap phone calls are now!

[stellanoir]

3. Your response reminded me of a quotation from

Richard Tarnas (http://www.cosmosandpsyche.com/)

"Mechanistic reductionism often masquerades as maturity" (paraphrasing possibly)

Methinks you might enjoy that book.

A hundred friggin' degrees !!!

Yikes.

That'll make one purge for sure.

My son is a Gemini with Mercury via combust the Sun but he utterly and completely sucks on the phone. He grunts in monosyllabic commentary and can seem a bit rude though is entirely articulate and present in person. I guess vociferousness can skip a generation or something. That's the rub in part.

I'll happily hug him from the forum and when I was trying to hug this morn, he complained about my cold hands (due to a half a cup of coffee.)

My circulation is really not that bad.

That's why it meant a whole lot to me that he was so sweet when he split today.

Am looking forward to tonight at least.

Not so much so about tomorrow morn though.

[Dora]

2. Thanks, Stella.

I remember friends of ours gave us the same warning about the years of school flying by. Our son just entered his pre-kindergarten class, and I'm feeling it.

Still, though, sometimes it's difficult not to say, "HURRY UP and GET IN THE CAR!"

Good luck to your son in his adult life. He's had some good guidance getting him here. Congratulations on a kid well parented.

[stellanoir]

4. "well parented"

Well hon thanks.

I figure motherhood is ultimately a crap shoot. Each kid is so unique and can have really diverse needs.

When my son was about two years old, my youngest g-d daughters who was born a week before him, was really agile, and she was traversing a jungle gym that my dad had welded together of plumbing parts decades ago. It has a horizontal stretch that is about 12 feet above the ground. Most of the older kids would dangle from it. She was walking upright upon the horizontal ladder.

It was one of those moments, when you know if you over react, it'll result in total disaster. I bit my tongue.

I looked at her father who is a wonderful long time friend.

He said," I'm not her father. I'm just her spotter."

It totally cracked me up.

She was and is fine.

Talk about a liability case waiting to happen.

Yikes.

She was and is to this day totally amazing.

still a mushball

[MorningGlow]

5. Aw sweetie

:hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. ...

:hug:

[Callie McAllie]

7. Stella, I cried reading this post!

I SO TOTALLY sympathize on this. My nephew in Arizona is going to college in Boston this year and I am so nervous for him and I'm 1) not even his mother and 2) not even geographically near him, we see him only a couple of times a year.

This has prompted me to think how very difficult it will be for me when my own son goes off to college in 5 years. I will be a basket case.

:cry:

I'm sorry you're feeling so emotional. I know this must be incredibly hard. I will send you all the positive vibes I can muster.

On the bright side, you must have done a great job of raising him if he is such a good kid that he has not yet driven you to the point where you're ready to kick him out of the nest.

:rofl:

[stellanoir]

12. It's not hard

It's bittersweet for sure.

I truly want him to have a great experience.

I simply want him to experience life.

I don't want him to feel over controlled or repressed at all.

I don't think he is really.

He keeps his humor about him and knows me all too well.

We share our humor at the very least.

I'm not sorry to be feeling so emotional. It's great to feel so deeply connected to one's son.

It's funny that he mocks me so.

I'm not that far from Boston and if your nephew needs any support at any point, don't hesitate to PM me.

I'm up there a couple times a month.

I think he'll be fine.

[kimmerspixelated]

8. Oh, my!

My sympathies. Not there yet... 12 year old, but I savor as much as I can, always. A big hug!

[Metta]

9. Congratulations and sympathies, stella.

Lucky you. It's all so full of insights and information. :hug:

[stellanoir]

14. All I can say is thank you for your glorious wife and your spirit as well.

His and my connection goes back 5000 years at least,

He and I know this,

Thanks dear.

[Metta]

20. Shucks.

Sending hogs and knishes your way.

[GardeningGal]

10. I've tried a couple of times to think of something to say.

But not having any children of my own makes it difficult. I can empathize though with how you're feeling and offer you a hug.

You know ASAH is here when you need us.

:hug:

[xultar]

11. Dear mom, you did an awesome job. You have a beautiful smart son heading

off to college.

What a beautiful present to the world. He'll add to the spirit of those around us and make this a better place.

Thanks for the new Liberal soul.
X

[stellanoir]

21. Thanks

You never know for sure but best to you and your little dogs too.

Was fun catching up as always.

In truth, my kid is sorta apolitical.

Might have somethin' to do with so many of his more tender years I spent obsessing about EVM's.

He thought it was totally lame.

As it probably was.

Oh well.

:hi:

[Kookaburra]

13. Here's a hug sweetie

:hug:
and some happy energy to help you get through this.

Congratulations on raising a smart, happy, healthy, well-adjusted son.

[teenagebambam]

15. I'm a college professor

and I'd like to thank you for sending your intelligent, humorous, well-parented child to "us" for a few years. The ones who are eager to learn and experience are increasingly rare, I'm afraid, and we delight in the ones who are.

You're correct, in that I can't guarantee that a BA will earn him a great job....but I've come to believe from my own experience that maybe a job isn't the most valuable thing an education can confer!

Best of luck to him - and to you - and I can tell you that if your child is exceptional, we'll probably want to get to know YOU, too!

[stellanoir]

29. Someone kicked this thread from last week and I had intended to respond

to you then, but alas, things got crazy. I thought it would sink, like I sorta did.

I had intended to respond by saying, it's hysterical that you are a prof in light of your funny screen name.

That is too cute.

Funny how we can all attempt to maintain and embody our youthful, sometimes rebellious, and cartoon-like spirits in so many different ways.

Thanks for your appreciation, good wishes, and understanding.

[I Have A Dream]

16. A new chapter begins in your life as well, my friend.

You also get to decide how the next span of your life will go. The parent years are amazing, I'm sure. However, after a job well done, you now deserve to focus on yourself a bit. Please don't forget this after taking time to shed a few tears tomorrow (and the next day -- or as long as you need to do so). :hug:

How could he have turned out to be anything but wonderful with you as his mother?!! Congratulations to both of you.

:loveya:

[stellanoir]

30. I cried for two hours this morning

and was up during most of the wee hours being somewhat tormented.

He expressed some insecurities to me before he split that I'd never seen before, though I always sorta sensed.

I'm glad he told me yet it is more than a little bizarre to process when he's always been uber exuberant in his confidence.

:loveya: too

& thanks

[rosesaylavee]

17. Saw this earlier today and it got me going too...

My "only" is going away to his second year in school shortly. And as he went away for his senior year too (long story but it was extraordinarily good for him) I would like to say I am getting better at this... not so sure. I think I am better at hiding it from him so he doesn't have to feel bad he's really happy to be going back to his friends and doing what he needs to be doing.

I am so very happy he's going to the school he's going and he is fortunate to be doing what he loves. It's hard to admit I am still having a hard time with it. Hopefully, as he is an air flight away, I will be able to go see him this fall sometime. Last year, we weren't able to swing it financially so only saw him at Christmas and when he came back in May... here's hoping the next four months will be broken up with a visit.

Wish I could make it better for you.

[stellanoir]

31. Well you made it easier for me by appreciating the relative shortness of distance

and time that I have to experience.

OTOH I'm always telling the kids I counsel who complain about long distance relationships and how much easier it is to stay in touch nowadays.

Sheesh the kids have webcams going in their dorms 24/7.

Also how people who hook up as teenagers and never differentiate as individuals often wake up at age 40 going, "who are you and what are you doing in my bed. . .?"

Hope you get to see yours as soon as I see mine.

[Grateful for Hope]

18. A big hug for you, Stella.

It's never easy when our kids "leave", but, I imagine that it is particularly hard when it is an only child.

I went through a grief period each time one of my kids spread his or her wings, but, what I found is that it does feel better with time. It really does.

And, you will now have the luxury of spending more time with your amazing self without feeling
guilty.


I also hope you feel a great deal of pride that your young man is well on his way to manhood.

:hug:

[stellanoir]

32. Thank you so-o-o

[OneGrassRoot]

19. Geez, everything is making me cry.....

My only child, a daughter, is a junior in high school. Chances are slim that she will go to school even remotely close to here. Being within a few hours' drive would make me feel so much better, but I find I'm already starting to miss her....and the parental fear of "I can't get to her quickly should she need me!!!!" setting in.

;)

Of course, it's two years ago, so I stop myself from diving too deeply into the neurosis.

Stella, what an amazing woman you are, let alone amazing mother. He knows this and shall take that solid foundation you provided and impact others now, spreading that amazing legacy.

I feel for you...I truly do. These passages are so darn hard!!!! Geesh....this human thing is so hard.

I hope it will be a gentle transition and get easier and easier, as others in this thread have said. Just reading your post and the replies has reduced me to tears once again today.

Dear God/Goddess, let this intensity lift, please. We all need a break from the intensity and the challenges and the raw emotion so many of us are feeling.

Godspeed to you, Stella, and your Dear Son. Thank you for sharing, and please let us know how the "you" time evolves. :)

:hug:

:grouphug:

[stellanoir]

33. Thank you. Did she recently get her license ? That was stage 4 of the empty nest thingy for me.

As to being an amazing mother, it's been a bit dicey but sometimes it comes down to this mistake or that mistake and is sort of always a crap shoot.

Hope you and your girl have a graceful transition as well.

[get the red out]

22. Bless you and your young man entering the world

I work at a university and these wonderful fresh-faced kids have such good feeling energy when the return every fall. It has been a good week watching them, even when they are lost on campus they are just full of the adventure.

I am sure your son is adventuring away in this new endeavor! He will bring you some laundry soon enough most likely. I do feel for the parents with their babies leaving the nest, they do look so young (I swear they are getting younger every year).

Blessings to you!!!

[rosesaylavee]

23. The piles of laundry and the calls home for cash...

They help ground me too.

Stella - you can do this!

[stellanoir]

34. My mum bequeathed him with two rolls of quarters and some detergent

but he'll be coming back in about two weeks since his father is remarrying. Phew.

Then I won't see him until Thanksgiving.

[Delphinus]

24. Aw, Stella.

:hug:

Reading your story brought back so many memories. I feel for you sweetie. It sounds like you raised an incredible young man.

When my son moved away across country, I went with him and helped him get settled, staying a few days. I then had the longest plane ride of my life, crying all the way home.

It will get easier but you've a lot more emotions to go through. We're here for you. :grouphug:

[stellanoir]

35. Thank you.

I'm sorta glad his father took him to school.

Especially since he inadvertantly left me with a razor in my tire.

lol

[ricochetastroman]

25. I'm sure your son is one great guy

because he has one awesome mother

I mean it

[stellanoir]

36. Thanks and I hope he still feels that way.

With the transits I've been under I apologized to him for being a "burbling mass of protoplasm" at the beginning of the summer.

I confessed to having been so for a couple months.

He said, "It been more like you've been so for several months."

lol

Then there was one time I was over amping when he was 6 or 7 and he pretended to turn a light switch off on the back of my heart center and said, "I'm turning you off for a while."

It's funny how parents and kids can do role reversals.

He's far more often been the disciplinarian than I have, I've more often been his quintessential bratty kid sister. :)

Hope you are still feeling better and taking it easy again.

[xultar]

26. So, how you doin mom?

[stellanoir]

37. Thanks for asking.

I'm oscillating between feeling liberated and being immensely proud of him, bouncing off the ceiling, and imitating one of your little dogs with that really unmentionable bad habit.

:loveya:

[xultar]

40. I'll let Mr. Sprinkles know he has a fan.

[stellanoir]

41. oh let me worship on the alter of Mr. Sprinkles

lol

[Flying Dream Blues]

27. I am late to this thread but want to say I remember that poignant

time so very well. The sadness tinged with excitement and the happiness and pride shadowed by anxiety. For me, it got better the moment I returned from getting them settled in; better but still there, don't get me wrong. I'm one of those for whom the previous year I was thinking things like,"this is our last holiday while she still lives here," etc. and I think by the time it got there I had sort of done the grieving or something. But it's true, things do change and there's a loss and a strangeness, but the sadness lifted after a little while. A wise person once told me that the scariest time is when the old has ended but the new hasn't taken form. That is certainly true for me.

I just want to give you a hug of support and comraderie and hoping that things are going well post-"Off to college."

We're here!
:hug:

[stellanoir]

38. Thanks

It's up and down and all around. See my other responses up thread.

I do feel a bit between realities though. Thanks again.

[Desertrose]

28. All I can add is....

:hug::loveya::grouphug:

Its a strange feeling to see them leave.(Currently both of mine are back in the nest....but fortunately it all works for us on all levels.) :)

:loveya:DR

[stellanoir]

39. Oh wow.

It's so nice to see you here.

What have you been up to darlin'?

Nice when things go full circle. 'Round and 'round we go. Can be both dizzying and wonderfully affirming.

Hope it's the latter for you my dear.