Never thought I'd post to a parenting board

[Hello_Kitty]

First time for everything I guess. Anyway, something really struck me while watching an old movie on cable this morning. The 1974 movie "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" is about a widow and her 11 year old son who are on their way to California when they are forced through circumstance to settle in Tucson, where Alice (played by Ellen Burstyn) takes a job in a diner. It's a great movie and the precursor to the '70s sitcom "Alice".

Throughout the film there is a lot of dialogue between the mother and son and I found myself amazed by the frequency with which she would berate him, curse him, and even threaten him with violence. And the thing is, and the movie makes this clear, Alice is a good mother. She's devoted to her son and trying to do her best. But today, I think we would find her behavior toward him appalling. Watching it made me remember what it was like when I was a kid in the '70s (I was born in 1968). My parents often spoke to me the same way, and I did get hit more than once. Many of my peers had similar upbringings. I believe we were possibly the last generation to be raised in this "old school" manner where it was ok to corporally punish and verbally abuse your kids. Most of us don't even consider ourselves to have been abused but it probably would be considered abuse today. If I were growing up now there's a good chance my sister and me would be taken away by CPS.

I realize I'm making a big generalization here. However, though not all kids were treated that way, an awful lot of us were and it wasn't right. And I don't care how many people natter on about how society is going to hell because you can't take a whack at your own kid in the supermarket or call her stupid. I for one am glad things have changed. Abuse still occurs but it's not acceptable anymore and that's a good start.

I should also mention that I don't have children myself so flame away if you disagree but this is just what I think. Thanks.

[SoCalDem]

1. Parenting "styles" change dramatically, every generation

Turn of the (19th-20th) Century parents were very likely to have little contact with their children, The rich had nannies/nurses/tutors, and the poor had "working" children.., Until postwar times, children were not a "hot commodity".. They were a side effect of sex, and a burden to all but rich families. they were free labor,and a hedge for a parent's old age.. I am NOT saying that parents didn't love their kids, but the "fascination" with offspring, and the worship of them in our culture is fairly recent..

Since most people grow up thinking that the want to parent differently, it's not hard to see why styles change..The truth??

At some point we often do "become" our own parents:scared:

[Hello_Kitty]

2. "At some point we often do "become" our own parents"

I honestly believe fear of that very thing was a big factor in my own decision not to procreate.