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!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-19-05 05:06 PM
Original message
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

More: http://www.eskimo.com/~spban/bread.html

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eleny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-19-05 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. Just purchased....
Ciabatta bread and a light rye...

Slowly I turned.... step by step... inch by inch...
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Longhorn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-19-05 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'm going to print this and copy for my math students!
We're discussing correlation -- that variables can seem to be related but that does not mean they are correlated, let alone one the cause of the other.

This is great! Thanks! :D
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Stinky The Clown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-19-05 06:43 PM
Response to Original message
3. Bread ... Its what's for dinner
and, coupled with macaroni, makes H2S .... uh ..... cherubic! :)
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-19-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. Don't get me started
Edited on Tue Apr-19-05 07:46 PM by wryter2000
You think bread is bad, how about that di-hydro-oxygen stuff? That's been known to suffocate people!
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fortyfeetunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-05 02:19 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. You talking about dihydrogen monoxide?
Yeah, that stuff can drown people...
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-20-05 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. D-OH!
That's what I meant. That stuff should be outlawed. Or at least have clear warning labels on it.
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