Back from hosp again, and short story on tips - has this happened to you?

[Tab]

First, I'm back from an overnight stay at the hospital again, every cardiac test you can think of (due to a reaction from chemo) but I've got a clean slate. I also supposedly have a job (yay!) that seems to be officially true - start date is set, hourly rate being finalized, everything else being put into place.

So, the tip story - I'm generally a generous tipper - usually 15 to 20%, often 20%, an exceptional (really exceptional - few but far between) meal I'll even go to 30% or so. Same with little things at diners - a $3 order might get a $1 tip because what the heck and they work hard. Overpriced food or beverages I undertip for, more for what I "think" it should be, and I have no qualms about undertipping (and the rare no-tip) for truly horrible service, but that's rare.

Anyway, my wife and I ate at the Siam Orchid, a Thai place, in Nashua, NH. They have one in Concord, and it's always been excellent. I didn't know they had expanded, but apparently they did, so we ate there for lunch.

The bill was kind of high - $43 (including tax, which we ignore when tipping); it turns out my lunch special did not have a price listed and they wanted $17.95 for it (most dishes are $8.95 to $12.95). My wife was paying and thought this was a bit high, and so she left a $5 tip instead of a $6 tip.

She gets up to go, I'm getting my stuff (jacket, whatever) together, the waitress zooms in for the check instead of waiting. I cynically wonder if she's looking at her tip. Well, she was. The check was served on one of those card plates; printed on the plate (under the check) is a list of information for "international travelers" including customs, how it's "done in America", and among other things, "How to tip".

Well, she stops me, and points this out on the plate, and the plate suggests that 15% to 20% is suggested. Ours, of course, clocked in at about 12% this time. My wife, who signed the check, wanted to know what was going on. I explained that the waitress wanted a bigger tip.

We both were somewhat flummoxed - I have never had this happen before. Even if they might go off grumbling (rarely happens) I've never had one approach insisting on a larger tip. I explained that it was a gratuity and it represents what was deserved and we thought it was appropriate given the circumstances and left.

On my way out I was thinking I should have said "you're right, this needs to be corrected", and then correct it down to $2 or something, but I wasn't thinking that fast. I did email the owner, but haven't heard back. Even if we had left nothing, it would have been inappropriate on her part - at most she could have said that she saw there was no tip and was wondering if we were dissatisfied with the service, but we didn't leave nothing, we just left $5 instead of $6. I thought it was ridiculous for her to have done that.

Anyone else come across that? Any front-house people ever find a situation where you wanted to confront the customer over the tip? What happened?

[EFerrari]

1. Definitely out of bounds.

She needs to go back for regrooving.

[kestrel91316]

2. The server was completely out of line. How bizarre of her.

[Warpy]

3. That was bizarre

and unless she's a relative, too often true, the owner should be notified. Anyone she confronts is never going to go back, including you.

Five bucks for a simple lunch service for two is a decent tip, period. If she'd been running back and forth with multiple drink orders, that might have been different.

But, no, the most confrontation you should have endured was a muttered "cheap bastards" as you were exiting the door.

Since she confronted you, she simply proved she was worth the lowest end of the tip range.

I'm sorry she made you feel bad, but she was really out of line.

[Coyote_Bandit]

4. Gratuities are intended

to recognize and reward good service - and the most important part of that IMHO is attitude.

[ginnyinWI]

5. the boss should be horrified.

this is an excellent way to get the customer to never come back! I wouldn't.

[sazemisery]

6. Tips aside.....Congrats!

On your health! On your new Job! Good to hear from you. :hi:

[hippywife]

7. Glad to hear from you

and that nothing serious was detected. And a job! Wow! That is cause for celebration, too!

I waited tables many years in my yute, and again when I first moved down here 12 years ago, just to get a feel for the people of my new town while I decided what I wanted to do. I never, ever would have dreamed doing what she did. Maybe the fact that it was in writing on the check tray made her mistakenly feel she had license to do so. Heck if I would have done that every time I got shorted, I would have done little else since Tulsans turned out to be really tip ignorant for the most part.

Hope we're gonna see you around here more. PM me with the 411 when you get a chance, will you?

:hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Congrats on your good medical news.

The waitress was completely out of line, but I'm scratching my head at the idea that she should have been penalized because the special cost more than you expected. If the price isn't posted I always ask before ordering -- too often the "specials" are costlier than typical entrees.

[yellerpup]

9. Wow, you have so much to celebrate!

Too bad that on the day you got the good news, you ended up having such an upsetting (bewildering) encounter with a desperate person. Do you suppose she's working on commission only? Of course she was out of line in a major way and certainly you didn't deserve such treatment. She's scared and angry about something that has nothing to do with you. Really, why go ballistic over a buck?
Best wishes for continued good health.

[pengillian101]

10. Happy to hear your Good news!

"First, I'm back from an overnight stay at the hospital again, every cardiac test you can think of (due to a reaction from chemo) but I've got a clean slate. I also supposedly have a job (yay!) that seems to be officially true - start date is set, hourly rate being finalized, everything else being put into place."


**********
What a bizarre reaction your waitress had. Here's a website where wait staff talk amongst themselves. I believe there is a spot for customers to weigh in and wait folks might have some insight.

http://bitterwaitress.com

[housewolf]

11. So glad for your good news!

I'm thrilled things are looking up for you and that you're doing so well that you can start a new job - great news, Tab.

Happy to see you here and hope to be seeing more of you here soon.

:toast:

[troubleinwinter]

12. We had the opposite problem.

In Beijing, tipping is not generally done. About 6 years ago in China, we went to a wonderful mid-range Mongolian-style restaurant, with great food & service. We tucked the tip under the edge of the plate and left. We were nearly all the way down the block when the waiter came RUNNING after us, caught up and told my traveling companion (who is fluent in Mandarin) that he would not accept it. My friend would not take it back, explaining that it was a gift of gratitude for such good food and service. No! The waiter put it in my companion's shirt pocket and jogged quickly away.

Speaking of Mongolians... We had made friends with the door man of our small hotel, and asked him where HE liked to eat. He directed us to a little low-rent hole-in-the-wall joint on a nearby narrow side street. Inside the door was a giant cauldron of simmering fragrant rich broth, with whole fishes wrapped in woven reed mats sewn closed with skewers. I don't think they ever changed the broth over decades, but just kept adding fish and kept it simmering.

As I said, my friend reads and speaks the language and I said, "OK, so read me the menu." He said, "Well, most of it won't do any good. There are things like 'Sky Flower of Bees Ears', 'Duck Penis On Pearls', and so on." So we decided to get something that we didn't know what it was, get one recommendation from the waiter, and a dish that we KNEW what it was, and one of those whole fish from the cauldron. It was all wonderful, even the one that we still didn't know quite what it was after we'd eaten it. I'd give anything for one of those fish again.

There were two Mongolian men and one woman at a table. In front of them, they each had a quart of beer, and they had two quarts of what I call 'Chinese Fire Water', a clear distilled rice booze similar to vodka, but of much higher alcohol content. During their dinner, they pretty much polished off the beverages, but what amazed me was that all three smoked cigarettes constantly all through eating. I'm a smoker, but not WHILE I eat. I think Mongolian men and women are very hardy people.