F*cking hound dog thieving bastard

[Tab]

I'm not even going to discuss it.

Don't ask.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

1. If you're going to insist on eating,

and mocking the dogs, you're going to pay a price.

Clearly, they have your number.

Come on. Tell. You know you want to......................

[troubleinwinter]

2. Your tribulations always remind me of when

my husband came into the house and said, "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID dog! That is the THIRD time that dog has chewed up a pair of leather work gloves I left on the fence!!!" I said, "The THIRD time, and you call the DOG stupid??!"

Yer hound is a smart cookie. He KNOWS where the goodies are.

Maybe you need to install security rails on the counter.

[elleng]

3. But whats the story?

You can't or don't eat the stuff?????

[hippywife]

4. And just who

lets this keep happening? Hmmmm?

[Warpy]

5. This is why I've always hated open floor plans

Give me a kitchen that is separate from the rest of the house and with a door I can close to hide the mess and keep the animals out when the floor is wet, please.

Maybe a solution would be clearing the bottom shelf of an upper cabinet and sticking the food there when the thieving bastard is in the house.

[wryter2000]

6. This is why I have a snake

And the d*mn*d stray cat stays outside.

[Vinca]

7. I have one word for you: Tupperware.

:rofl:

[Tab]

8. Let's just say

Let's just my house has only wood and tile downstairs, but the upstairs is fully carpeted. With that in mind...

Let's also just say a certain hound dog stole a whole thing of mashed potatos, had some time to get it into his system and get mixed in with whatever else he had in there, and then proceeded upstairs for the express purpose of vomiting up all the mashed potatoes he just ate onto the carpeting. And not like just one location on the carpet either.

And then he had the nerve to come back down and ask to go outside.

[Tesha]

9. My daughter has a cat like that...

nothing is safe, she's just learned hoe to open the fridge.

Mix that with a delicate stomach and one way or the other - a mess is sure to follow.

Sorry about your carpet, How DO they find the worse place to make a mess?

[Tab]

11. Fortunately, I'm highly allergic to cats, and a good thing too

It seems that they like to bring you "offerings", like dead birds and half-eviscerated mice.

That's grosser than my littlest thieving bastard that likes to eat his (and others!) own po... oh, forget it... we won't even go there. At least with him I can choose not to be licked afterwards. And that's why he gets fat - he recycles. Nothing ever leaves his body for good.

[sazemisery]

10. Oh, Tab, I hope you have a rug shampoo machine. n/t

[kentauros]

12. My first thought: A Christmas Story

"Bumpasses!!1!"

http://sobbumpasses.ytmnd.com/

:P

[Warpy]

13. You really need to search out a Jean Shepherd anthology

like the ones here: http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=Jean+Shepherd&source=an&ei=ghC0Se6XPIKEsAPKg81-&sa=X&oi=book_group&resnum=4&ct=title&cad=author-navigational

There's a whole back story on the Bumpus family, a gang of total inbreds (according to The Old Man) who had fled Appalachia and the collapse of the coal mining industry. It's particularly midwestern, since that's where most of those folks ended up when they hit the road looking for a better life.

All his books are a total scream and well worth finding.

[kentauros]

15. Okay, thanks for the link!

I've never read "A Christmas Story" so it would be nice to have a humorous book to read for a change. The last writer of that genre I read was Douglass Adams.

[Warpy]

16. Shep was different

and his memoirs were of growing up in a steel town in northern Indiana, embellished as fiction and first published in Playboy.

I was quite the scandal for a while, a 12 year old girl who'd buy Playboy if it had a Jean Shepherd story.

I've read all his collections and they are really worth trying to find.

(I was also a squirrely kid who'd take a nap after school so I could be awake late at night, ear to an AM radio turned low, listening to radio all over the country. I was hooked on Jean Shepherd's show on WOR. It saved what passed for my sanity when my parents moved down south)

[eleny]

17. I listened to him for years on WOR

His shows still stand up to the test of time.
http://www.flicklives.com/reruns/revisitedpodcast.xml

One nice thing about his writing is that he wrote as he spoke.

[elleng]

18. Warpy, Jean Shepherd was SUCH a FAD

when I was in ? high school? Jr. High? on Long Island!!!! Every Night!

[Warpy]

19. I was in the buckle of the Babble Belt

in North Carolina, so you can imagine what a lifeline his show represented.

It let me know the rest of the world was still out there beyond the alternate reality created by Holy Rollers who were still fighting the Civil War.

[elleng]

20. Yes, Dearie,

we were with you!!!

[ginnyinWI]

14. Have you ever read the book Marley and Me?

Hilarious story of a golden lab. Kind of makes you thankful you don't have a worse pet!