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In an effort to demystify cooking for those who consider it an arcane art practiced in the dead of night, during a full moon, at a crossroads that intersects with a ley line, under the astrological sign of of the Hidden Sky Artichoke, cooks of the world must come together to dispel these myths and mystic habits that have bound us so woefully to obsolete practices.
We must take on a new spirit of scientific interest and experimental interest. We must adopt the Scientific Method as our testing template, creating and changing our recipes with precision and thoughtfulness. We must examine our old habits, handed down from on high by the ancients of our orders, and cast out these proclamations in the face of evidence based cookery. For food must follow us into this new world of the post-Fast Food Era, and to do so, we must outthink the food chemists who have done us such harm.
Thus we must vow to abandon the sacred mushroom brush in favor of a good washing-up bowl, the thump test in favor of a well calibrated probe thermometer, and the dipped cup of compacted flour in favor of the weighed measure. We must seek out good food science and dispel claims that broccoli is bad for the bladder and carrots cause disease.
The Thermometer Oath Here do I swear to always note the metrics of a dish to the best of my abilities, and to distribute them as precisely as possible; to alter and experiment with the conventional wisdom handed down to me by my elders; and to always, always take my food's temperature before I serve it to ensure that it is healthful, fully cooked, and safe for consumption. By my chef's knife, I shall never again submit to the tyranny of the poke test, the eyeball test or the spatter test, but shall instead endeavor to understand the chemistry of my food and the physics of heat, vapors, and food science in general.
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