Does anyone have experience with this?

[EFerrari]

While hubby was ill, we were pushed into functional homeless. And struggled for years. Have had a roof for about four years now.

My family put up a down payment on a condo for us recently, and we're in the middle of moving in. It's lovely. We both have something like fulltime work now and everyone is being incredibly supportive.

Since we started moving, I've been a basketcase. I look around and feel like I've broken into some rich person's home. Anxiety attacks, the whole enchilada. Something like being retraumatized.

Is this a "thing" or is it just my own personal brand of insanity?

:hi:

[shraby]

1. It may be a combination of

"I can't believe it's happening to me" and fear of not being able to hang on to it because you lost it all so easily the last time.

[EFerrari]

15. That's spot on -- except it wasn't all that easy to lose

first go 'round. It was just years of no resources and me finally crashing to a degree -- not being able to work two jobs and all that, that finally did us in.

But, this is definitely the Combo Plate. :)

[unblock]

2. moving can be very stressful.

i have certainly awakened in the middle of the night after recent moves and, in a fog, wondered where i was or thought that i was in someone else's house. every once in a while, even now, years later, i'll think i'm in my old place. typically when i reach for the wrong drawer in the kitchen. "oh yeah, we used to keep the forks on the other side of the stove in the old place". that sort of thing.

trust me, you'll get used to it soon enough.

oh, and, yes, it is indeed YOUR condo, and yes, you DO deserve it.

:hi:

[EFerrari]

9. Moving is right up there, on that stress scale

with death and marriage.

:rofl:

[notadmblnd]

3. you may be suffering from survivors guilt

nt

[EFerrari]

11. Well, I'm a Recovering Catholic. If a guilt exists, . . .

:)

[Whereweat]

4. Take comfort

that you have family that cares and when you get in the position return the favor.

[EFerrari]

10. Excellent point. Thank you. n/t

[EFerrari]

18. And btw, welcome to DU.

:hi:

[bleever]

5. This is a known phenomenon, the anxiety of upward mobility.

All big changes can cause anxiety and require a period of adjustment, even positive ones.

From the sociologist's viewpoint, you've moved from a set of circumstances that you had learned, in various ways, to control and adapt to, into a new set of circumstances where many of your tools may now be irrelevant or even distracting. It takes time for the new strategies of survival to develop, even though you're in a better situation than you were before. But they will in fact develop.

Congrats, and best wishes!


:hi:

[EFerrari]

12. Thank you, bleever. You know, I was almost too shamed to

post this. Because it's like spitting at God.

Learning, I do pretty well.

:hug:

[ray of light]

6. You didn't say

if you have health insurance. If you do, then a doctor may be able to recommend a anti-depressent or anti-anxiety medicine. Sounds a little like a panic attack. You may want to talk to a therapist to help you over this hurdle.

If you don't have that option. Then one thing you can do is start a yoga regime or some type of meditation to learn to soothe your anxiety.

[EFerrari]

13. No health care for the last decade.

It's complicated but the essence is, I take care of a disabled (but everyday more functional) spouse. I don't qualify for anything and I can't work outside our home -- i.e., spend that much time away from him.

I do however have a great doc that prescribes for anti-deps & anti-anxiety meds for me. Geeze, is that too much information? :)

And you're right. Today I started to just focus on breathing and being aware of tension in the old musculature.

[skids]

7. Just soak the home in.

Spend some time with the new home. Get to know and like the fixtures. If you appreciate them now, you'll have no trouble maintaining them.

I had the same kind of thing (milder though) when I stopped renting apartments and started renting houses. By the time I moved out of that first house, it no longer seemed so nice -- it was as clean and functional as when I moved in, but my standards were higher.

[EFerrari]

19. It's all so much nicer, I feel like Jed Clampett.

Culture shock for sure.

I'm used to going to nice hotels when Doug and I keynote or in some way participate in conferences re homelessness/addiction/mental health.

But, there's no check out time here!

I really appreciate the great responses. You all gave me something to think about -- as opposed to just reacting to the situation.

cheers,
b.

[vanlassie]

8. Yep I'm familiar with this....

sfexpat2000,

Can you sit quietly for a bit and listen to what your mind is believing? Whatever you are telling yourself is the key to how your are feeling. Only you have this answer... for example, you may be believing "I don't deserve this." or "This will not last so I have to...(what?)" This is very easy to do. Just sit and write it down as it comes- or type it- it's quicker. Keep it up until nothing else comes. Then go back and verify each statement of belief- there will be a big surprise there- guess what? Most of what we are telling ourselves at times of stress is total crap. Clear this!!! Then, you will have something to work with to decide what IS true. And then you will more than likely notice a shift in feelings.

Regards,
vanlassie

[EFerrari]

14. wow. just , wow.

I will do this.

For the last three nights, horrible nightmares. Earthquakes, dead pets, I won't elaborate.

One great dream: A very simple one in which my mother love me. lol. Paging Dr. Freud.

But, I do hear you about journaling. I've been saying to Doug, "I should be writing right now, not obsessing. This is the writer's zone."

I will try it. Thank you so much for this excellent suggestion.

There is something about all this that feels like more responsibility where I know my limits and feel pushed over the edge.

But that is crap. It's not more responsibility, just different responsibilities.

Man.

:)

[vanlassie]

16. That's the spirit...

Tell the Truth. That is the key. And the best thing about telling the truth is how liberating it is.

Once you see clearly what is true, the next step is: CHOOSE what you will do. This is the secret....the minute we make a choice we regain control of our own lives! When I choose to "take" whatever life is handing me, I feel stronger and much more in control (of course we are never totally in control- that is definately an illusion! But you know what I mean...)

vanlassie

[EFerrari]

17. Welcome to DU, vanlassie.

Thank you for being here. :hi: