Pensacola Beach, FL (June 9, 2010)
In a joint press conference today, representatives for Nerck and BPP announced an exciting deal in what is being called a "win win" for environmentalists and big business alike. Nerck Ceo Ricardo Mark, revealed that his company plans to fully fund clean up efforts in the Gulf of Mexico as Nerck can refine toxic sludge for use in its pharmaceutical products.
According to BPP CEO, Phony Wayward, the crude will be processed and refined using a simple distillation method which involves separating the substance into what's known as "fractions." A new, purified material, "ethyl-slugda" or "ES" will be the end result. (ES is expected to help lower cholesterol without serious side effects.)
"Given the original source materials for crude oil are naturally decaying plants and animals, Nerck expects they'll be able to bypass the regulatory process completely, having the product ready for market in December of this year," exclaimed Ricardo Mark. Mark went on to state, "one of the most exciting developments beyond the life saving impact on cholesterol, is the potential for a new, plant based, vaccine adjuvant." Nerck expects to quell concerns over neurotoxic adjuvants like aluminum, given ES is essentially derived from ancient oceanic plant life. Nerck also noted that manufacturing "ethyl-sludga" will save stockholders money, due to fact that the crude materials for manufacture, are washing up on beaches along the coast. "It's like manna from heaven, and we'd be remiss if we did not take advantage" proclaimed an excited Mark, in his statement to reporters.
Stocks for both companies are expected to rise.
Admittedly, I'm no http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=222&topic_id=88056&mesg_id=88056">Mineralman, but I thought I'd have some fun in the health forum as well.:P
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