Gay adoption - the real agenda. From the Chicago Tribune.

[terrya]

A spot-on column by Steve Chapman in today's Chicago Tribune.

Gay adoption: The real agenda

Steve Chapman
November 30, 2008

On Nov. 4, Arkansas voters approved a ban on adoption by unmarried couples. The purpose of the ballot measure, according to the Family Council Action Committee, was "to blunt a homosexual agenda that's at work in other states and that will be at work in Arkansas unless we are proactive about doing something about it."

On Nov. 25, a court in Florida pointed out something that the Family Council Action Committee and other anti-gay groups somehow manage to overlook: Allowing gay couples to adopt is much less about protecting gays than protecting children.

With that in mind, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman struck down a 1977 Florida law—the only one of its kind—that forbids gays from adopting. (Arkansas, Mississippi and Utah exclude unmarried couples, which has the completely intentional result of excluding gays.) In a case involving two young boys taken in by two gay men, she found the law was unconstitutional largely because it violated the rights of foster children to equal treatment under the law.

You could hardly find better proof than this that efforts to combat the "homosexual agenda" mainly serve to harm children in dire need of stable, loving families. Four years ago, Martin Gill and his longtime partner agreed to provide a foster home for two boys, one 4 years old and the other an infant, who showed the physical and emotional effects of neglect, including scalp ringworm.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-oped1130chapmannov30,0,6061835.column

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. The people who voted for the Arkansas law make me sick

I know a loving lesbian couple who had adopted a mixed race child with special needs--one that no one else wanted. The child is showered with love and attention and the special care she needs--but now that is all taken away. You can be your bottom dollar that NONE of the self-righteous @#&^$*&^ who voted "yes" would ever even consider taking this child into their house for a day. Haven't heard from the couple since the election--don't know what will happen to them. But it breaks my heart.

[bluedawg12]

2. The gay adoption battle is exactly about what is best for the children

and as the case shows, a stable, loving home is best for the children and being gay is consistent with good parenting.

[bluedawg12]

6. I disagree with this statement from the article and it leads to a pitfall

>>Would orphaned and abandoned children be better off if every one of them could be raised by stable, loving, heterosexual couples? Possibly. But that's not an option. For many children, the alternative to having gay adoptive parents is having no parents at all. <<

First of all, this statement casts doubt that stable, loving, same sex couples are equally as good parents as, stable, loving, heterosexual couples. I disagree.

Second, this argument came up during the dumbya years, and this opened the answer to the following rw retort:

"Yes, but if children are better of with stable, loving, heterosexual couples then it is the duty of society to promote the highest of ideals and not accept as a gold standard lesser models of parenting."

There can be no waffling, homosexual parents, either single or as couples, do provide good and stable and nurturing homes for children, where they can thrive.

Even among single parents, the hardships are due to being a single provider and parent and not to sexual orientation of the parent.

[yardwork]

15. I agree, and many studies have proven that children of gay couples are just as happy.

There have been several studies that have shown this without doubt.

[sandyd921]

3. If such a thing as hell exists,

may the people who worked to get this measure on the ballot burn in that place for eternity. :grr: Not only have they succeeded in denying the human rights of LGBT people, they have denied good, loving, stable homes to lots of children who have been abused and/or neglected (most likely at the hands of heterosexuals). Makes my want to :puke:

[Ian David]

4. In Mississippi, gay SINGLES can adopt, but not gay COUPLES.

At least, that's what a caller to The Stephanie Miller show said.

And that makes even less sense than some of the other anti-gay adoption laws.

[wellstone dem]

8. As a single adoptive parent of a child from foster care--I stand up

every time I see an attack on gay parent adoption, I see an attack on my family.

We are not a two-parent family. There is not a male parent in my daughters life. An attack on gay parent adoption is an attack on my family as well as gay parent families. I will not stand by quietly.

My daughter spent more than 4 years in foster care. Her birth family was a two-parent heterosexual family. But I am her mom. I have sat with her when she sobbed at night because she was afraid. I have taken her to her counseling appointments as she tries to deal with what happened to her before we were a family. I have cried with her. I have laughed with her. I have yelled at her. I have dropped her off for college. I talk to her at least 3 times a day, working to convince her that she can do this, that she is strong, that she is amazing--because she can and she is. I have loved her. I am her mom. Her life is better because we are a family. My life is better because we are a family.

I know I will never convince people who oppose adoption by anyone except heterosexual couples that our adoption was right. They will say it is wrong. But as my wise daughter once told me when someone said something bad about me, "Just because he says that, doesn't make it true."

[classof56]

9. Your words touch me deeply, and I commend you for your excellent parenting.

I hear on a regular basis the stories of kids who are horribly abused, neglected, and desperately in need of not only rescue but loving and nurturing adults to care for them. You have been such a person, and you have my gratitude. One account I heard of a little boy in a group home who said he liked being there because people were kind to him, and he'd like to be adopted by someone who would love him and be nice to him. One can only imagine what he had endured at the hands of his "real parents". It breaks my heart that such situations exist and that there are those out there who would deny these children the love and care they deserve because of gender, marital status or sexual orientation. These are the same idiots who scream their heads off about the evils of abortion but who care nothing about the already-born, far too many into tragic circumstances that will scar them for life.

This is such a hot-button issue with me, I tend to rant on far too long. Forgive me, and please know how much I admire you and all who so selflessly care for children such as your very fortunate daughter. Your adoption was right indeed and those who say it's wrong are in my opinion as evil as the adults who wreak such havoc on their own children.

Blessings.

[wellstone dem]

10. If you ask my daughter, she will tell you that I'm not an excellent parent

but will tell you that I was a good parent for her. And she will kick anyone's butt who says a single or gay parent(s) should not be able to adopt.

[classof56]

11. If you ask both my daughters, they'll tell you the same.

They were raised by a mother and father who did their dead-level best to hit the mark 100 percent, failed often, but hey--just like our imperfect parents before us, we tried. Our daughters are in their late 30s, one now a single mom, and they both insist that while we were not without our flaws, we were good parents. We taught them to think for themselves, be responsible for their own actions, be compassionate toward others and never deliberately hurt anyone. There were a few other values thrown in, but we are proud that they're kindhearted, hard working, productive human beings who doubtless deserved better parents, but played the hand they were dealt with grace and grit. Guess I could not have asked for much more!

Kudos to your awesome daughter!

[truedelphi]

12. Thank you for everything you are doing. How far we have come and how far we have to go

I was adopted in the spring of 1952. My mother used to shield both of us from certain people in our neighborhood whenever we were out and about.

I can remember being like four years old, and someone coming up to us in the supermarket and saying "So this is the girl you went out and adopted. Well, I want you to know, you will never know the love and joy of having a REAL child to grace your home."

This didn't bother me in the slightest - I had bought the entire line that adopted children were special because they were chosen.
I also beleived that most kids "were" adopted, they just were not told about it.

But on more than one occasion, I can remember my mom being all teary eyeed on our way home from the store.

I am so glad that you are able to provide a home for your daughter, and so happy that she can grace your life and be your REAL child. Now we have to work to see that everyone can have that opportunity and blessing.

[glowing]

5. I've seen this story in the paper a few times.. I'm glad they will get to adopt their

boys. They are providing a loving home and stability. The abuse they suffered was more than ring worm on the scalp.. they had been burned and neglected by the mother.. I think, at first, they had problems with the birth mother objecting to the adoption.. but she was deemed unfit, and the state wouldn't return the children.. I think they tried with some relatives of the kids, but the homes were really not any better. It was amazing to me that some group was fighting so hard to give the children back just to deny the couple of adopting. I believe they tried just one of the parents of the gay couple as well.. It's been a long legal battle. I'm glad to see that they will be able to adopt and not have to worry about their children being returned to the awful foster care system that is in place.. AND on that note, I would say the marriage ban on same sex couples may end up being deemed unconstitutional as well.. If a same sex couple can adopt, shouldn't the legal rights of "marriage" be given to them as well.. so they can take care of the children properly?

[bluedawg12]

7. Here's some studies that show favorable outcome with gay parenting.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=221&topic_id=91963&mesg_id=91963

[qwlauren35]

13. Good homes for children... by any means necessary.

I'm glad that some people in Florida have common sense.

America is not exclusively filled with middle-class, white, heterosexual happliy married couples where the wife stays home and bakes cookies, while the husband takes the morning train and works from 9-5. Moreover, those who fit the description aren't necessarily planning to adopt.

Sexual orientation, in my opinion, should not be a major factor in an adoption case, and orientation should NEVER, EVER outweigh ties of kinship.

In fact, the only time I can see orientation being a factor is when it's an open adoption and the birth parents and relatives can't handle it. That wouldn't be good for the kid.

Why should orientation matter at all? Because most Americans identify themselves as heterosexual and as such, there are some social ramifications in placing a child in a household that is "different" from the societal norm.

however, I'm 100% convinced that it still beats foster care.

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

14. What's really messed up about all this...

is the Arkansas Democrat Gazette paper ran a front page article stating their is a shortage of families wanting to adopt.

sorry about the picture...

[sui generis]

16. but it's not illegal for a gay man or woman to have a natural child

go figure. Those people actually are as dumb as they look.