YES!!! I saw a young couple in Eugene

[Karl_Bonner_1982]

It seems that I almost never see male-male couples holding hands in public, especially not young non-effeminate ones, but then I don't get out and about that much. But a couple nights ago two guys - guys who show no traditional stereotypes whatsoever - were walking to Safeway holding hands. It's unfortunate that you don't have more openness in Eugene, but there it was.

I, for one, would definitely hold my boyfriend's hand. One problem though: I'm still single.

Still it was inspiring. My hope is that some day soon gay people will be identified as such not by appearance, manner or cultural preferences, but by modest PDAs such as this.

[yurbud]

1. I'm from Oregon. It's sad that's an unusual sight in otherwise liberal Eugene

[BlooInBloo]

2. Still too much hick in Eugene, I guess. In pdx it wouldn't even be noteworthy.

[27inCali]

3. One day

my generation will set it right.

We just have to wait for a few more dinosaurs to die off.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[NorthCarolina]

5. Here in North Carolina holding hands in public

could result in bodily harm. It's unfortunate, but a fact of life here in the south.

[dsc]

6. yeah I admit I would be scared to do so

but some of my students though have actually made out at school with no apparent physica backlash.

[Karl_Bonner_1982]

9. It can be very outraging

This is one of the things that makes me the angriest, the invisibility and silent repression caused by the POSSIBILITY of violent reprisals.

I'm surprised that gay culture hasn't produced more angry and militant musicians, writers, demonstrators, etc. Not to mention more of an intrusion into genres such as hardcore, punk, metal and hip-hop.

[NorthCarolina]

10. I agree with you wholeheartedly

but there aren't any laws on the books against "gay bashing", so for us it's simply prudent to refrain from any public signs of affection as opposed to becoming another "statistic" of a non-crime.

[Karl_Bonner_1982]

11. What makes me angrier is that the Democrats aren't more radical on this issue

When Democrats compromise with bigotry I see it as a pact with the devil.

They better cut it out or they may start losing votes to the true left.

[NorthCarolina]

12. The issue with the Democrats

is that there are too many conservative DLC Democrats and Blue Dog Democrats. These conservative factions within the party have worked hard to push out traditional Democrats like Kucinich, and reshape the party into more of a clone of the GOP. They believe that traditional Democrats are what caused the GOP to become more successful, and that to combat this they had to become more conservative. That gave rise to the DLC, and became what now leaves us scratching our heads and wondering why the Dems don't take on these blatantly corrupt Repubs.

[davidinalameda]

16. you have so-called progressives on this board that are homophobic

it's not fair to lay the blame solely at the feet of the DLC types

you have DLC types who are not homophobic and I'm willing to bet there are possibly a few Blue Dogs who support civil rights for all

[littlebit]

20. We haven't had much of a problem in NC.

It is definitely a lot better than where I grew up in west TX.

[NorthCarolina]

21. Where in NC though can make a big difference

Asheville is not representative of the majority of the state in terms of safety for gay visibility.

[littlebit]

25. I live right outside of Asheboro

It's a smaller kind of back wards town. But people here are pretty accepting.

[yardwork]

22. In Chapel Hill I regularly see two young men holding hands.

I think that they must live near my route to and from work. I have seen them more than once, walking down Rosemary Street holding hands. They look like undergraduates.

I often see young women holding hands on Franklin Street, too. It seems to be no big deal among UNC students. Heart warming!

[closeupready]

24. Even as a gay man of longstanding, lol, in New York, it's sort of a new thing, this openness,

and it's thrilling to see same-sex couples, of either gender, just innocently hold hands and give a peck on the cheek. Honestly, it makes me feel like I'm living in San Francisco. :)

[yardwork]

26. I do it with my partner, too. Right here in North Carolina.

The thing is, I didn't know I was gay for a long long time. I was in a heterosexual marriage for years. I didn't hesitate to hold my husband's hand or give him a quick kiss in public. I'm not going to change my behavior just because some neanderthals have a problem with the fact that my partner is a woman!

So I think that yes, young people and those of us newly out of the closet - we're taking things to a new level of openness. The people who lived before us helped pave the way when it wasn't as easy. Thank you!

[closeupready]

27. How sweet -

:) (I'm just glad fewer young people have to go through what I had to go through.)

[yardwork]

28. Me too. I really am promoting "the gay agenda."

I don't want any more young women to go through what I went through - not even considering the fact that my feelings meant that I was a lesbian, because lesbians were so invisible and stereotyped in my world.

[litlady]

7. What a depressing topic. :(

I can't believe we're discussing whether American citizens that care for each other can hold hands without repercussions. I did see that commonly in parts of California, but almost never in Florida.

When will this nation afford equality to all citizens, especially basic liberties like being able to walk outside freely without fear?

[closeupready]

8. I know right? Knowing that there are places in America where two people who love each other

are villified for their natural FEELINGS makes me feel like a foreigner in a repressive Catholic country like Poland or Italy something.

[Iggo]

13. Back to the topic...

I saw something similar, and it scared the hell out of me.

A couple of months ago I was riding a crowded bus in Orange County, CA, when the bus came to a stop to pick up a passenger. At the bus stop were two young dudes, teens or early twenties, arms around each other. They exchanged a goodbye kiss (during which several people on the bus felt they had to express their disgust) and then one walked away while the other got on the bus...alone. That was one long quiet bus ride. Thankfully, the bigots on the bus were too..I dunno, stunned(?)...to say anything until after the kid got off the bus a few miles on down the road.

"Did ya see that little *******?"
"Gross!"
And my personal favorite: "Why can't people like that just stay home?"

They tried to get me to join in with the hilarity, but all I could do was just look at them and say, "Really?"

I'm not gay and there are some things I don't understand. But I certainly DO understand that it's a dangerous world for some young people in love, and it shouldn't be.

Some day...

[litlady]

14. Yeah, one time at Disneyland someone complained because a gay couple was holding hands...

they said it was indecent, though of course a straight couple doing much worse would not have warranted such a complaint.

[closeupready]

15. I'd always heard Orange County was puke-land - from your anecdote,

it would seem so. Can you confirm?

[Iggo]

17. Totally.

One of the reddest parts of the state, along with San Bernardino Co. and San Diego Co.

Also known as "Reagan Country."

[litlady]

18. Definitely. I grew up in LA but went to college in OC and man was it red!

Actually, during a primary, I was one of only a few waiting for the Democratic booth and more than one person scowled at me! Though some areas are becoming more Democratic, many areas in OC will remain very Republican.

[Zuiderelle]

19. I still hesitate to hold my partner's hand in public.

I guess it's from coming out 25+ years ago when it was dangerous in many places to do that. My partner only came out a few years ago, so she doesn't hesitate to hold my hand. I just have to try really hard to overcome my paranoia at being stared at, whispered about, derided, bashed. I've had friends who've been beaten because they've held hands, or walked out of gay bars together, it's hard to get past that fear sometimes. But it's definitely better now than it was 20 years ago.

[insleeforprez]

23. The times they are a-changing

I've gotten more and more comfortable holding hands with my boyfriend in public. I walk around my college (it's liberal, but not super-liberal) holding his hand, and I've never heard a word or seen an expression. Walking around Boston, I've only gotten three reactions... first from some teenage guys (whatever, they're immature and uncomfortable, I can live with that) who snickered a bit, second from a group of guys in a pickup truck (you know, the kind that got Howard Dean into trouble) who seemed to shout something as they drove by, and third from a probable recent immigrant who, upon seeing us, started railing at us in a foreign language.

My point is, however, that people are comfortable with it today, or at least they are polite enough to not say anything.