Hit Me Like A Ton of Bricks, this O.P.

[susankh4]

This O.P. in the GD forum: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3086420 hit me like a ton of bricks last night.

My Son in Law, Jason, would have been 35 years old tomorrow. He died in a freak accident, last August, while hailing a taxi in downtown Boston. It was a little over a year after he married my son, in our church, here in Ohio. And a month, to the day, after they made it legal in Massachusetts.



I can't begin to tell you the horrors of the whole ordeal. The week Jason was in a coma. The end of life decisions. The legal rigmarole. But, I can tell you this...

I thank God every day for allowing the whole nightmare to happen in Boston, instead of Cincinnati. If they had still been here in Ohio... it is doubtful Luc would have had any say at all over Jason's last days. And, tho he was named as beneficiary for the seven years they were together ... it is highly likely that Jason's estranged family of origin would have intervened to take away the life insurance that has allowed Luc to stay where he is, and continue his graduate studies at Harvard.

As a straight ally I know I don't always "get it." But... this I do know: we have got to work to have legal marriage recognized, for every couple, in all fifty states. There is the fund to which I donate, in Jason's memory, for this important cause.

Tomorrow, his birthday gift money goes here: http://www.uua.org/giving/donatenow/14309.shtml

In peace, Susankh4

[Midlodemocrat]

1. I am so sorry for your loss. Your post is beautiful and your son is very lucky.

[Behind the Aegis]

2. My sympathies

I hope (and pray) that every GBLT will eventually get a mother (mother-in-law) like you!

[shaniqua6392]

3. I am sorry for your loss.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You have chosen an excellent beneficiary for the gift money.

[xchrom]

4. recommend - my partner and i had made

arrangements before he died on the big important stuff -- but i had to put up bad tempered family an friends after he died over small stuff.

i just left my house while they -- well -- anyway.

[FloridaJudy]

5. I'm so, so sorry.

He sounds like he was a wonderful person. Two of my good friends were married in Boston: unfortunately, that gives them no legal status here. Thank goodness both families are sane, and recognize their daughters are wonderful women who love each other, and have raised two fantastic kids together. It must be especially rough when the families refuse to acknowledge the marriage, though it's never easy.

I think you've chosen a beautiful way to honor his memory.

[Zuiderelle]

6. Thanks for this post. And sorry for your loss.

And thanks also for being an ally. Sounds like you had a wonderful son, and he had a great mom in you.

[BillSam]

7. My condolences to Luc and to you

So sorry that this tragedy occurred. I'm sure Jason was like or would have become like another son to you. This must have been very painful for your son, and you, and I'm glad that you've been there for him.

Bill

[Maven]

8. What a beautiful post.

What a terrible loss, and a poignant message

K/R

[Marrah_G]

9. This is why I am so proud of where I live.

Nothing in Mass has changed for the worse...only for the better.

I find it shameful that the rest of the country has not made the same long-needed changes.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[susankh4]

14. As well you should be.

I hope to retire there one day. Planning for that now....

[mitchtv]

10. I grieve for your loss

You know , there a many, many horror stories to be told, (almost everyone I know has at least one)
That is a great picture.

[eridani]

11. They had each other for awhile, at least. Wish it could have been much more

:hug:

[Silver Gaia]

12. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. My deepest sympatheis for your loss.

My dear brother, who passed away in July of 2006 at the age of 49, was gay. He wanted nothing more than to be married, to live a simple happy life with someone he loved. He never got the chance. Thank you for the link. I will donate in honor of my brother, and Jason.

[Moloch]

13. That was profoundly moving.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[susankh4]

15. Thanks so much to all of you!

For your sympathy and support. It helps more than I can say.

Today would have been his birthday. He was like a son to me.

[goddess40]

16. I just sent money to the UUA yesterday

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I love that the church is so open and tolerant. I joined the local UU recently and on the same day a lesbian couple also joined and announce they were getting married in June. It shouldn't be a big deal but for central Wisconsin it is, especially with the hate mongering republican's that pushed through the marriage ban during the last big election cycle. Now that we have the ban on our constitution it's going to be an expensive long drawn out process.

[swimmernsecretsea]

17. That must have been so hard to share with all of us.

But you've given us your memories of Jason, so in a way, we get to know him also. I thank you so very much for posting this, and I wish you peace in your thoughts at this time.