I posted a while back that I had been voted VP of my school's GLBT Pride Alliance.

[DarkTirade]

Well, now it appears I'm the VP of an empty club. :banghead:

All I can say is this: if I wanted drama, I woulda joined the drama club. In a nutshell, some people were pissed off because we ended up with a president they didn't think they could control. So they basically started openly rebelling, and it got to the point where I showed up for the meeting two weeks ago... and two other people from the club showed up. Because everyone else was sick of dealing with the tension. Last week was the same thing. And last week of the three people that showed up, I was the only officer. I ran into our treasurer the other day and she looked like she was about ready to cry, she just couldn't deal with it. She also looked like she really needed a hug, but we were in the middle of a crowded hallway so that wasn't really doable. Maybe I'll send her an e-hug of some kind. :P

I think I'm just going to send out a mass email to everyone and say something along the lines of, "Instead of dealing with everyone's problems, everyone decided to leave. Leaving two or three of us holding the bag. Now as long as there are GLBT students who want a place to meet, I'm still willing to go to meetings every week. And I think there are a few other people here who feel the same way, but just don't want to deal with the drama. Well, the drama's gone along with all the people. I'm hoping the people will come back and the drama won't. There are still events coming up that need dealing with. And there are still GLBT students out there who may need a shoulder to lean on."

Any advice/suggestions?

[zabet]

1. Wow...

sometimes the old adage 'no good deed
goes unpunished', really rings true,
doesn't it.

Maybe an open email to all the GLBT students
outlining the purpose and goals of the Alliance
and re-enforce how important it is to have a
support 'family' you can count on and help each
other out with. I would try not to dwell too
much on the negative aspects of your experience
as VP thus far, just highlight the positives and
the potentials of the group. Myabe, even for X
number of weeks, state you will be there at the
meeting place if anyone is interested.

Hope it all works out. Good Luck.

[DarkTirade]

3. Problem is that this club is so disorganized that I don't HAVE an email list

for everyone who was interested in the club... just the current members. :\ So I can only email the current members and officers.

[dsc]

2. This is a sad state of affairs

I hope things can get back on track. I think the offer you gave is a good idea and hopefully people will take you up on it. But we aren't called drama queens for nothing.

[DarkTirade]

4. Oddly enough, most of this drama came from lesbians, not gay men.

:P Although it takes two to tango.

[patrice]

5. Sounds like you need to work on the group process, not its outcomes, but HOW, exactly, you will work

together, so everyone has a sense that s/he has input into who/what the group becomes.

Defining your process(es), requires an objective process facilitator who is experienced in managing those discussions. You need someone whom everyone can accept and who doesn't project his/her own, or anyone else's, goals or agendas onto the group. You need a facilitator who knows how to get you to work on HOW you're going to be a group. If you happen to know any Quakers, they often know a great deal about group work.

But, most importantly . . .

NGU.

[DarkTirade]

6. Yeah, and I'm willing to step in and do that.

I've been aside from all the drama. I just can't do that if nobody shows up. :\

[patrice]

7. Do they understand that you want to work on process? Do they trust your abilities to be fair?

You probably need someone OUTSIDE the group to come in temporarily, until you get it going right.

[DarkTirade]

8. Well I have yet to shoot off this email to the group.

I may want to add something to it. Hence why I came here looking for advice. :)

Unfortunately I don't know anyone outside the group who'd be willing to help. So right now, me being someone who was outside of the drama and whatnot is the best option I can see.

It's funny, I'm not much of a people person. I'm not good at talking to people. But I'm fine with standing between people and translating and moderating. :P

[patrice]

9. My family is HUGE and diverse, so "Been there done that." Good luck to you.

Try to find the earliest (non-artificially imposed) opportunity to demonstrate to ALL factions, publicly, that they can trust your fairness.

NEVER ever talk about anyone to anyone else; bring them together to talk to each other.

You might try to get them to do that "assertive" communication model:
I feel ________________. When you ________________, because ______________. And I need _____________.


Edited for spelling.

[DarkTirade]

10. I think I've got the first part pretty much covered.

Any time drama has showed up when I'm there I've said straight up that I didn't want to be involved in it. And they know me well enough to know that I don't really want to run the show. I'm not going to be fighting for control or any such nonsense. I just want things to work. And so far they haven't been.

The second part, the bringing them together to talk to each other part is what I need to work on. :)

[patrice]

14. Good luck! and NGU.

:hi:

[patrice]

11. Model and Discuss the behavior that you think will help.

For example, you can tell them in your email upfront that you will never ever talk about one of them to another and that you will ALWAYS try to get people together to discuss solutions. Promise them that if you think it will help.

[cloudythescribbler]

12. Throw a keg party with FREE pizza, for starters

[DarkTirade]

15. Free pizza might be a sore subject.

One of the people who disappeared on us was the one who'd promised to bring free pizza to that meeting. :\

[Beregond2]

13. LGBT

I've never dealt with a gay group of any kind that didn't have these issues. There's a reason so many of us are drama majors; lol!

It sounds like the drama has played-out. Just let it be known that the organization still exists for those who want it, keep showing up, don't tolerate anymore crap, and in time it will get better.