found a really good website for GLBT vidoes

[William769]

http://www.outofthecloset.tv/


I am watching now "A Heart for the Homosexual" "a video taped church service where Stephen Bennett shares how he escaped homosexuality."(still trying to figure that one out).

But what is telling is where the video was made (Calgary Church) this is what we are up against and the only reason I am watching is to better understand my enemy (so to speak).

Brainwashing? Preasure to conform to one's peers? Or preasure to conform to what one percieves our society expects us to be? I truley want to understand what goes on in a Gay mans mind to "escape Homosexuality".

[gaspee]

1. Societal expectations and conformity

So you're growing up and you realize you're gay. Or you don't realize it one day, but it's always been there. You've been told your entire life, subtly and not so subtly that being gay is wrong and evil and dirty and sinful. But it doesn't even have to be that blatant. You've grown up in a culture where gay people are discriminated against, where they're not allowed to have "legal" families.

It's no surprise to me that people don't want to follow their natural biological desires when they lead to a life on the outside of so-called polite society. I can't even imagine the pressures of having been raised in a religious or conservative family or setting. I sure would have had a harder time accepting who I am and who I'd like to be if everything in my life said who I am, on a fundamental level, is wrong.

I also think it has to do with giving up privilige. Especially for white males. And no, I'm not picking on white males. But to go from the top of the sociological food chain (in a patriarchal western country) of being a white male, to accepting yourself as a *gay* white male... it's pretty tough.

It's been a struggle for you at times, hasn't it? I think being out is one of the bravest steps a person can take. Because if you do not live in San Francisco, or Boston of Provincetown, NYC, or Providence, or other gay-friendly places you can't help but be faced with daily, in your face, discrimination. And even in so-called safe palces, homophobia rear its ugly head time and time again. Like the gay bashings in The Village of all freaking places!

I think it's really hard for some people to accept that they're going to be hated just for existing. I have a harder time understanding the religious argument... but I empathize with people brought up in religious households. I just never internalized attempted religious indoctrination. When tought about religion from a young age, my little future scientest brain said, "well, that's just *stupid*," so I can't really tell you about the fear of eternal damnation that some people are stamped with. I think that's a powerful factor, too.

Like I said, I think being out is a pretty brave place to be. Especially when you believe your soul is at stake.

[iconoclastNYC]

2. another : http://www.gay-torrents.net

[William769]

3. Requires registration at a 3rd party web site

and there registration process doesn't seem to be working.

I hope it's not one of those free registrations that require a credit card, for they will surly lose me.

ON EDIT: spelling.