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Alright, I am not sure how it started but I think it should be put to rest right now. There is no such thing as a gay "lifestyle". Saying "gay lifestyle" is a negative way to speak toward gays, as it is usually used to imply stereotypes about gays. There is no gay lifestyle, just as there is no straight lifestyle or latino, black or white lifestyle. Being gay is not a subculture, although yes there are various gay subcultures just as there are various straight subcultures.
This isn't so much directed at straights, who I think when they use the phrase are trying NOT to be offensive, it's directed at LGBT people who use the phrase. If you are a gay male and you say "gay lifestyle" you are implying that you are or do the following: dress like a woman, will have sex with any male who has a pulse and possibly men who don't have a pulse, speak with a lisp, do drugs, live on welfare and live your life as one giant party. If you are a gay female and you use the phrase "gay lifestyle" you are implying that you are or do the following: ride a motorcycle, hate dresses, hate men, hate children, can't cook, want to sleep with every woman you see and want to be a man.
Are there gay men and women like those described above? Yes. Is there anything wrong with that? Well, some of it perhaps - sleeping with everything that moves generally isn't healthy, nor is the doing drugs, but the rest is okay. We are a group of people that tries to embrace diversity, sometimes successfully sometimes not so successfully, we are not a lifestyle. We should always be celebrating our diversity, not trying to box ourselves in by implying that somehow the entire gay movement is some obscure subculture. That implies that being gay is a choice, which we all know it isn't.
I don't expect hetero's to change the way they speak, but I would like to see LGBT people informed on what they are saying - that they are stereotyping themselves. The word "lifestyle" is used as a buzzword to conjure up negative images of gay people. Do not use it in conjunction with yourself or another LGBT person.
There I said it. Aside from the negative connotations it has, it is also a pet peeve of mine that raises my hackles every time I hear the phrase. It is normally used like this: "I like/know gay people, but I just don't support 'that lifestyle'."
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