Sick, sick and tired

[NMMNG]

I'm a far-left liberal. I've grown more liberal as I've aged. I give to various charities. If I come across a panhandler I'll give them a few bucks. When the schools recently needed emergency funds I gladly voted to raise my taxes because though I don't have (and never will have) children I think it's important for kids to have a good public education. Every time there's a major disaster I send what I can to help the victims. I fight to keep abortion legal though I'll never need one. I do all this and more because I think it's the right thing to do.

But it seems when it comes to me and mine that I hear the same refrains.

There are too few LGBT people for the government and general public to waste time and resources on your petty issues.

Really? Since when did Americans start rationing rights based on the size of the affected group? There are plenty of groups in the US that are as small as or smaller in size than LGBT Americans. Mormons (2%) , Native Americans (about 1.4%) and people with intellectual disabilities (perhaps 3%) come to mind. Should their rights be ignored or withheld because there “aren't enough of them to bother”?

And since when are basic human rights "petty issues"?


Your rights aren't as important as other concerns/
You're selfish for wanting your needs to be addressed before all of the other More Important Issues

This is a twofer that, much like the previous statement, tells us “You simply don't matter”. Of course the latter claim also heaps derision on us for having the audacity to ask for what is rightfully ours. We've even been called sociopaths because we won't wait until every child is fed, every war is over, every human being is employed, every person has health care, there's a chicken in every pot, everyone has a roof over his/her head, etc, before daring to ask for the same rights others have and enjoy.

Yes there are other problems that exist. There are unemployed people, hungry children, wars, people without health insurance, etc. But there have always been and always will be Other Things. To claim that we cannot or must not address the matter of equal rights for human beings until those other issues is absurd. To blame the oppressed for asking for an end to the oppression is just plain cruel.

What is more, this implies that LGBT people are not affected by those More Important Other Things. The reality is that we are very much affected by them, and we endure the burden of inequality as well. In fact, inequality often exacerbates for us the More Important Other Things. We have to cope with unemployment—which is made worse by the fact that it is perfectly legal in more than half of US states to refuse employment or to fire someone just because they are LGBT. We face homelessness—and in more than half of US states can be refused housing or evicted just because we are LGBT. The list goes on and on.


Why aren't you happy with what you're getting? Why are you rabble-rousing for more?/
You can't expect everything overnight

Nobody expects everything overnight. But we're constantly being fed promises in exchange for our votes. Politicians tell us things like “I'll start getting rid of that evil law the first day I'm in office”. Then he gets in office and doesn't even address it. After a year of agitating by LGBT activists (who get infinite grief over the whining their doing about their petty pet issues) he says they need to do a bunch of studies to find out how it will affect the straight people, the straight people's spouses, the straight people's dogs, etc. Another year passes. Then once things start getting heated up for the next set of elections the politician says “We're thinking about considering getting rid of that law now”. And we're supposed to go cuckoobananas because this guy is our bestest friend ever.



There's an election coming up!!!



There's always an election coming up. Ergo, there's always a convenient reason to ignore LGBT human rights lest we rile up the bigots. But still we should vote for the people with so little testicular fortitude that they can't stand up to the bigots.

You think it's bad now just see how bad it would be if the Republicans were in office!

Oh yeah, that's right. The Dems suck, but just think how much suckier it could be!!! Whee! We can decide between being ignored and facing stealth abuse and being openly abused. Oh, the choices!



Gay Person X says he's happy with (politician) or (law) so why aren't you?

I'm an individual. I don't love Big Brother and no matter how many times you beat me over the head with Token Gay you can't make me like oppression.

Special rights!

Equal rights are not special rights.


You have to respect other people's beliefs

Not when their beliefs involve harming or oppressing others.





At any rate, it's become obvious that me and mine don't really matter. We're too small and insignificant to matter. Our rights are merely a “wedge issue” that are perceived as a threat to the Democratic party. Refraining from pissing of the Republicans is more important than equal human rights. And we LGBT people are just a bunch of whiny, selfish sociopaths who want Oompah Loompahs and rainbow farting ponies.

So I think I should just stop fighting and just live down to their expectations....



The kiddies need more money for schools? Don't ask me to pay more taxes. Let the parents dig deeper into their own pockets or have a bake sale.

Natural disaster? Sorry, can't help you.


Abortion rights? Why should I care? My wife's never going to get me pregnant.



I'll take all the money I save and put it toward the extra tax penalties my wife and I face merely because we don't have opposite genitals. I'll save it for when one of us dies and the other can't collect her partner's Social Security. I'll save it for any of the thousands of financial penalties LGBT couples face that heterosexual couples don't.

Then maybe, just maybe, if people ever get around to considering me and mine important enough to care about rather than ignore, oppress and abuse, I might get back to where I used to be. Right now I'm just to tired of it all.

[queerart]

1. Well Said...... n/t

[vi5]

2. K&R

You are 100% right. I'm straight but I hate each and every one of those excuses given. I hate what the Democratic party has become. I really, really do.

[redwitch]

3. I am so sorry you are downhearted.

I totally understand. A friend of mine poured out her heart to me recently about this and I couldn't agree more. My friend and I are in our mid fifties and patience is running short. I hope you will see this chapter of the civil rights movement come to a happy conclusion soon. Working hard here in NY to get same sex marriage passed. I do not understand the bigotry and homophobia that some people cannot let go of. I know that my children and their friends are light years ahead of our generation, for them homosexuality is simply a fact, no big deal and they want themselves and their friends to be treated fairly. I won't ask you to be patient when I'm not. Just know that you have many, many friends who are working to make things right. :hug:

[chervilant]

21. I, too,

place a great deal of hope in our kids. Most adults I know suffer the dreaded cranial-rectal inversion disorder when it comes to equal rights (if you DOUBT it's the MOST, just start talking about 'LGBT' equal rights, or 'women's' equal rights, equal rights for the poor, equal rights for the homeless, or the equal rights of undocumented workers).

[LiberalAndProud]

4. too few -- the very definition of minority

I always thought that championing for equal rights for minorities was a basic tenet of our party identity. I grieve to find that it is not.

[RKP5637]

5. Agree! I'm fed up with it too. For a nation that brags about its fairness,

equality and equal opportunity, just about everything in this country to get those rights requires a F'en fight. It's been that way since day 1. It's just once constant battle against self-righteous bigots. It just goes on and on. Will this country ever grow up. It acts collectively like a bunch of grade-schoolers. And anymore, the grade-schoolers have more wisdom than the country collectively.

[Occulus]

7. "Well, the world isn't fair. Life isn't fair."

I've realized something very recently about the response I put in quotes, there.

The people who go about parroting those words are usually the same people who are going about making things unfair.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

[susanr516]

6. I'm sick and tired, too

Marriage equality NOW. Full equal rights NOW. No excuses.

[mitchtv]

8. best post I've read all day

I feel the same way

[girl gone mad]

9. k & r

[NMMNG]

10. Thanks everyone for your supportive replies

My Internutz access was erratic today (probably because of the heat) and I had a bad migraine so I wasn't online much. I do appreciate you all, however. :hug:

[FreeState]

11. K&R

[justiceischeap]

12. According to a recent Gallup Poll, U.S. Adults Estimate our numbers around 25%

http://www.gallup.com/poll/147824/Adults-Estimate-Americans-Gay-Lesbian.aspx

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. adults, on average, estimate that 25% of Americans are gay or lesbian. More specifically, over half of Americans (52%) estimate that at least one in five Americans are gay or lesbian, including 35% who estimate that more than one in four are. Thirty percent put the figure at less than 15%.

Amazingly enough, "Lower-Income Americans, Less Educated, Young People, and Women Give Highest Estimates" and "Democrats, liberals, and those who say they are socially liberal are also more likely to give higher estimates than those at the other end of the spectrum. However, the differences by political or ideological leanings are in most cases not as wide as those seen by demographic group."

So since the average US adult thinks we're a 1/4 of the population, we should be getting more love. :)

The actual percentage given is 3.5%, which makes our numbers roughly 10,745,229 (and I think 3.5% is low) and I don't think number includes minors. Just imagine if our measly 3.5% abstained from voting in any Presidential election. What do you think would happen to the Dem contender?

[William769]

13. K&R.

[nichomachus]

14. Bravo!

[MuseRider]

15. ((((HUGS))))

I am so sorry. I just do not know how to reply anymore.

I know I will be doing all I can but it just seems so disheartening, and if I am disheartened then I have no words for how you must feel. There aren't any good ones really. Just the work, just the work.

I cried when I read a post in GDP this morning. I get sad reading stuff and depressed and angry but rarely do I burst into tears. I alerted and I posted a lot of words about why I alerted, I had not even seen the thread until this morning because I stay as far away from GDP as I can usually. I stated exactly what I wanted to say in a manner that was not inflammatory but sane and rational and LIBERAL. I went to the Farmers Market expecting to come home and see those posts gone. HA! I bet they had been alerted on 1000 times, did not think of that, yet what is there in that thread? Deleted posts and I know whose they are.

I stayed away from here for a long time but I felt guilty about it so I creeped back in. I have posted on several LGBT sites but the activity is slow on most of them. I want to interact and make plans and get ideas but this damned place is making ME cry, how do you take it here when here is a place you should be OK and a place we should be able to teach, where people want to learn how to help? This is where I learned so much but now it is just simply continuous responding to horrible bullying and attacks and people who say they want to help but on their terms? Really? Ya know, if you were all just hetero there would not be a problem right?

This place reflects this sinking country. When I read how Obama was proud to be a member of the UN working for equality I wanted to throw my computer out the window. You do not work toward equality you simply make it happen. Sadly even a very good president can't just make it happen or rarely has the opportunity but O had one. He has the floor, he can speak about it and fucking lead if he thought it was important. If he REALLY thought it was important.

I don't speak for everyone but I want to say that there are more of us who know that you matter than you think. People are afraid to speak out, many of them anyway. It took me a good long while and a devastating circumstance to find my voice. This is not going to be the place sadly to encourage people. If you stay out of the hateful threads they just come into yours and sidetrack any and all conversations.

I think I may be ready for my close up (TS) Mr. Deville. I don't know if I have the courage to flame out and I really don't know if I can. I have tried before but I think I am largely ignored by those who would take me down. Dunno but I do know that I love you all as my brothers and sisters and DU is nothing but a source for pain, this country is only a source for pain and I am so sorry it is on your backs that the majority want to make themselves feel good enough, smart enough and you know the rest. Silly, sad, insecure, bullies.

EDIT they removed the posts that I alerted on and I am certain many of the rest of you did. Now lets see how this goes, it will not be taken easily I think :)
EDIT again for spelling

[Name removed]

17. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Vanje]

41. Stay here

Don't flame out. I would miss your voice.

[MuseRider]

42. Just a bad day

I can't leave. I have tried but there are too many people here I do not want to lose track of SO DON'T YOU ALL GO GETTING THE DIRT NAP! Seriously, sometimes it is as easy as a number.

I can't leave. There are too many good things to learn. I read this forum and learn so much.

I can't leave. Together you are all strong. I can add from the sidelines maybe something now and again.

I can't leave. The bullies can't win.

Basically I care about too many people here to leave. :) And that is a good thing!

[Vanje]

43. Right on! nt

[yardwork]

16. I only hear these things on DU.

I'm luckier than most, as I live in a community where I don't have to hear garbage like this on a daily basis. I read it here on DU on a daily basis, but I've realized that this is optional on my part. Limiting my exposure to DU limits my exposure to bigotry, leaving me happier and more able to focus on other things, like my family, job, and environmentalism.

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TrogL]

33. Interesting point. I'm openly bisexual

We get it from both sides, the straights who think we're "gay", and the gays saying "make up your mind".

It's not even as simple as that. Current research in to sexual identity places it on multiple axes; how you identify, how you present yourself (not sure what they mean by that) and whom you're actually sleeping with.

Personally I've been very, very suspicious of "macho" men fascinated with watching "professional wrestling".

[yardwork]

39. And then there's pro football.....

I wonder why the post to which you were replying was deleted. It seemed like a good point to me.

[Chovexani]

40. Ain't that the truth

Shades of grey can be scary to people who think entirely in terms of black and white. Decades after Kinsey's research we're still having to explain this stuff exists in a spectrum.

[zalinda]

19. I'm not gay. just fyi

But not only do I totally agree with you, I'm just as angry. The LGBT community has and still does bring color and richness to our world. I don't understand, and will never understand the perverse interest in genitals, other people's genitals, at that.

Everyone has the right to try to find happiness in this world. Hell, I don't even care if people want to do the group marriage thing. Make it all legal. My only problem is when people involve children as their sexual partners, otherwise, if both parties consent, it should be legal.

zalinda

[Thumper79]

20. What I think is an interesting point

is that the Bill of Rights were not written for the majority and popular ideas. They were written to protect the rights of 'minorities' and unpopular ideas. We are eleven years into the 21st century and this shouldn't be an issue. Everyone has the rights of everyone else (in theory, anyway.)

[DreamSmoker]

22. We are the true Americans

I was taught that as I got older and wiser..
I would become more conservative...
I am going on 55yrs old..
NOPE...
I was taught in school all about Government and American History..
The America and the Dream are now out of reach for most of Americas People today..
I have turned so Liberal it blows my mind..
BUT, the changes made to this Government have changed what I thought America was about..
As long as political power is based on huge Corporations, Lobbyist, Corporate Campaign money..
The American Dream is Lost....

[obxhead]

23. It's not only the LGBT community that feels this way.

I stand with you and your needs.

The just imagine a Republican argument has no value. Given the choice between a Republican and a politician who acts like a Republican, I'll choose neither.

Looking forward to 2016. 2012 is less important at this point as far as change is concerned. In fact I'm coming to believe that an Obama win in 2012 could be more harmful to America than a Republican win by ruining any chances of a real Dem to bring change in 2016.

Stand strong and know you are not standing alone.

[libmom74]

24. k&r

This straight woman supports everything you just said. All people deserve equal rights, sexual preference should not be an issue in the 21st century.

[icymist]

25. How would the 'powers that be' respond to

Stone wall II? just wondering. It could happen.

[tpsbmam]

26. First and foremost, don't

give up the fight. Righteous voices should never be dulled or dimmed. You're 100% correct and deserve a kajillion recs for saying what needs to be said often and loudly.

I'm saddened when I read posts on DU telling GLBT brothers & sisters to STFU and put other concerns ahead of GLBT issues. They're NOT GLBT issues -- they're human rights issues and it sickens me that too many don't see that.

My fabulous cousin just died. Her partner of many, many years has been treated by our family as she should be -- as her S/O who needs our support & love. She has been there with my cousin through her life and death, including the decision to withdraw life support, and is planning her memorial service with other family members. As it should be.

In so many families this wouldn't be the outcome. Families can and do shut out a surviving partner when it comes to healthcare, dying and participation in memorial services & burial/cremation. Surviving partners are shunned & left out in the cold. If the injured/deceased was part of the military, the survivor has none of the rights that heterosexual partners do. In all of these instances, laws don't back up the GLBT survivors -- all of the power rests with those who shun and abuse the survivors.

That's just one example of the multitude all of us who are paying attention, who love GLBT family & friends and who truly care about equal rights for all can give.

Yeah, I care deeply about all of the other issues. Healthcare is top of my list! But that's not to the exclusion of GLBT equal rights -- those are just as important and any other.

Hearty K&R

[Chorophyll]

27. Bravo! Exactly.

I'm a straight ally, and it galls me no end to see the Dems treat gay people in a way that they would not DARE to treat any other minority. They think they have your votes no matter what, and that's a dangerous and stupid way to think. I don't even understand how such a basic issue of human rights is still up for debate.

(Actually, I think a general fear of anything that has to do with S-E-X pervades our land, and huge segments of the population aren't mature enough to understand that S-E-X is only one aspect of life for gay people, just as it is for straight people.)

[Snoutport]

28. bravo!

[closeupready]

29. K&R

nt

[avebury]

30. K&R

[mistertrickster]

31. MLK in "Letter from Birmingham Jail"

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied."

*****

There's never a wrong time to do right.

[Vanje]

34. Awesome!

Thanks MisterTrickster!

[redwitch]

38. His letter from Birmingham jail is one of the most powerful things I've ever read.

Thanks for reminding me.

[Omaha Steve]

32. K&R!

[Deep13]

35. "You're selfish for wanting your needs...before...More Important Issues"

I rather think we can walk and chew gum at the same time.

You know, MLK wrote about this exact same attitude during the African-American civil rights movement of the 1960s and he was as unsympathetic to the status quo apologists as you are to those belittling your concerns. Where would we be today if we had listened to those who were trying to have it both ways (or those who used delay to prevent any change at all.) For one thing, there would be no President Obama since without 60 years of integration, most whites would not have voted for a Black man and the lack of a '65 Voting Rights Act would have kept FL, VA and NC at the very least in the red column.

What if instead of passing the 19th Amendment in 1920 (yes, 3/4 of the states went for that) Congress just decided that it was enough for women to have a few marginal rights, but that voting was too much to expect. Even though they are half of the adult population, traditional government is men's business. I credit all the subsequent social, economic and environmental regulation to the fact that women vote. I regret that every national election in recent memory has shown male voters (especially white male voters) to be in general far more pig-headed than women voters.

Sometimes leaders have to do more than look at the next election. Sometimes they have to throw the dice on what is right and lead.

[ejbr]

36. k & r !! n/t

[democrank]

37. K & R