I've loved two men in my life. (A view from life and love in the age of AIDS)

[pinto]

My first love was Jim, a man I met by happenstance while on a date with his ex. Jim was coming by their former house to pick up some personal stuff while I was dropping Joe, the ex, off - literally and figuratively. As I was making my exit from a date gone bad I turned and saw Jim standing in the doorway.

Something happened. I'd dated a bit and had some fun runs through the gay bars in DC. Here I was across the country, in a small town and never expected it.

We went for coffee, saw each other a few times in the following weeks and spent nine years together.

He died of AIDS. Specifically cryptococcal meningitis. It was horrifying and inevitable. Had a two month hospital stay in an attempt to treat the fungal infection. It was a no go, but one thing this small town hospital did was give me three meals a day and the other bed in the room. No questions asked.

I lived there, with Jim, as he died.

To this day I don't know who made the call. Floor staff was great for the most part, I even had a couple of late night visits from RN's to give me a heads up - on our shift you two can sleep in the same bed.

Every August I send a note and chocolates to the floor staff.

That was 20 years ago.

~ pinto

[RKP5637]

1. K&R

[xchrom]

2. it's been probably that long for me.

B was my partner -- he had aids -- we were living in oakland -- bought a condo together.
he put a grand piano in the living room :eyes: -- we were very close -- but had a very open relationship == he went up to russian russian river one spring after there had been a lot of flooding and the water treatment plant had gotten into the river.

he contracted staph. -- for years i had to treat half dollar sized sores all over his legs -- open, running, horrible.
eventually the staph made it into his brain.

it was at ucsf i met his holocaust survivor father -- his father & brother rejected him moments after brain surgery confirmed what we knew -- there was no chance.


we laughed -- & lived for a time.
mostly we were consumed with the business of managing a disease.

i miss his raunchy, randy irreverence.

[closeupready]

3. Thank you, Pinto. K&R I've never had a sig. other die of AIDS, but

I have had friends die, one of whom was sick but I didn't know until after he'd died.

I'm not sure I've ever really had the type of boyfriend where everything just clicks. I guess I'm still looking and will probably always be, lol. :hi:

[beyurslf]

4. Thank you for sharing.