For gay youths, middle school can be toughest time

[joeybee12]

NEW YORK — By the time she was in eighth grade, Rory Mann was so aware of the differences between her and other students that she couldn't bear to enter the cafeteria. Instead, she ate lunch alone on the cold, hard bathroom floor, propped against a wall.

Sometimes Mann, who'd known she was gay for about a year but dared not tell anyone, would cut herself on the arms with a razor blade. Her long sleeves hid the evidence of her misery from classmates and family.

"Everyone's trying to figure out who they are in middle school," says Mann, now 18 and a high school senior in Newport, R.I., where she is active in a gay students group.

"They turn into vicious people. They are really insecure, and they exploit someone else's differences so people won't see who THEY are."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39639709/ns/us_news-life/

[Taverner]

1. Hell yeah!

Middle school was HELL for everyone!

I'm not even gay and I shudder every time I think about it (and I went to a fundie Jr High at that)

[joeybee12]

2. Yeah, things suck at that age...they really, really do...

and to add being gay, or being different in any way, it really, really, really, really sucks.

[pnwmom]

3. For all youths, but especially for anyone who is "different,"

middle school can be the toughest time.

That's why I love the "It gets better" campaign. If only someone had been telling me that when I was that age.

[Smarmie Doofus]

5. I love it too. ( i.e. " It Gets Better.") nt

[Smarmie Doofus]

4. Middle school is a Darwinian jungle.

For GLBT kids it's a fucking *crucible*.

[Jamastiene]

6. My absolute worst time was in 7th grade.

From 7th until 10th grade, I was a walking nerve wreck, but 7th grade was the worst.

Stephen King once said that the worst time for many kids was between the ages of 12 and 13, because all your friends tend to start going separate ways. Even though he wasn't necessarily talking about the experience of being gay at that age, it absolutely RESONATED with me, when I read it...and later heard it in Stand By Me.

Why?

Because, that is usually the time when all your friends start getting more interested in the opposite sex and you are just left trying to figure out how to bide your time until you could figure out how to live.

You know you can't come out yet, because of all the hatred around you. You know it is not your typical bullying, because there is a component of bigotry and hate to what you end up receiving. Even if you don't come out, you are usually "figured out" and face the consequences of schoolyard gossiping. Even some people who are not gay get that type of bullying. It is a different type of bullying, vicious, downright deadly hostile.

It just wears you down. Unless you are one of the lucky ones who can somehow survive it, it does risk your life...and there are people who say it is a choice. Who would choose to be so thoroughly hated like that?

[donheld]

7. It's hell

[IrishEyes]

8. Junior high

I remember adults would always tell me that these were the best years of my life. I'm glad I didn't believe them. I think all kids need to be told that it gets better. I'm not gay but I was shy and I read books for fun so I was bullied. Bullies don't go away. They just turn into mean, unhappy adults. I've encountered many bullies in my adult life too. Of course now I have the power and confidence to tell them to go to hell. You couldn't pay me to go back to junior high and high school.