Slashed Ticket Prices Allow Lesser Nobility To Attend Yankees Games

[joeybee12]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/slashed_ticket_prices_allow_lesser?utm_source=a-section


Dukes, barons, viscounts, and earls are applauding the Yankees' recent decision to cut prices on dugout and foul-line field-level seats in half, from as much as $2,500 per game down to an amount the minor houses consider far more reasonable.

"Naturally I am quite pleased to attend my very first Yankees game, a spectacle that my merely adequate standing had until now denied me," said His Lordship the Duke-Chancellor of Arkengarth-upon-Settle, who often listens to Yankees games on satellite radio while tending to his 683-square-mile estate in Wales. "Until now, I have had to satisfy my sporting curiosity in less costly arenas, often hosting three-day fox hunts or airplane races upon the grounds of our family estate. But by mortgaging only half my landholdings, I am finally able to see the Yankees play the Red Sox."


"It is truly magnificent," said His Serenity the Archduke of Lesser Saxony, watching Joba Chamberlain struggle against energized Boston hitters. "Though the Duchess and I would often speak of seeing a Yankees game one day, somehow our ticket money was always being spent to build a cathedral or launch a fleet of ships. When we were given this opportunity

[TZ]

1. I love the Onion!

I must say, so far this season, it's been hard to be a Yankee fan I think, even the Nats get less negative press...:rofl:

[joeybee12]

2. Oh yeah, they're already talking about when Girardi will go...

...the sharks sense blood in the water.

[nickgutierrez]

3. This new stadium was the worst idea ever.

Honestly - the old stadium was the best home-field advantage in sports. So the seats don't have cupholders - so the fuck what? Could that possibly be worse than rows and rows of empty seats BEHIND HOME PLATE? Dammit, that's stupid. That's even before considering the fact that it was built with taxpayer dollars, and everything else.

:banghead:

The team on the field I'm not so worried about. Once Tex gets to hitting, once A-Rod gets into the lineup, and Jorge gets off the DL, the offense will be just fine, and the pitching isn't so far off either. I still think they'll win the division.