Evangelist Drowns Trying To Walk On Water

[DeSwiss]

I won't bother with posting a link to these guys. I'm trying to keep them from spreading. But this comes from the wingers over at World Nuts Daily:

Evangelist Drowns Trying To Walk On Water
Pastor reportedly told congregation he could repeat miracle of Jesus
Posted: August 30, 2006
6:14 p.m. Eastern

An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus' miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon's capital of Libreville. "He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus," an eyewitness told the Glasgow Daily Record.

"He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back."

The New Testament records the story of Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee as he approached his disciples in a boat. "And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea." (Matthew 14:25)

As WND reported in April, a researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus' miraculous walk on the surface of water – ice.

Professor of Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-authors of his study theorize that a rare combination of optimal water and atmospheric conditions resulted in a unique, localized freezing phenomenon called "springs ice," according to Physorg.com, which specializes in news about science, technology, physics and space.

WorldNetDaily.com

*** - Another example of how literally believing in things from the bible can get you killed. And I saw that "scientific" article a few weeks ago about how Jesus was just walking on a frozen-over lake instead of water. So it was ice??? With just those thin desert sandles on? He must had insulated soles. So what they're saying is Jesus was pulling a prank on his disciple's?? Come on, they can do better than that! How about he's got light floatie loafers on? Or wings! Yes, he borrowed some angel wings from Gab, or Michael or Uriel! Ever notice how there's no women angels?? Mmmm. No? Okay, I'm done with this one.


This Article Is The Winner Of
The 1st Runner-Up Award

[theanarch]

1. okay, if the Sea of Galilee was frozen enough...

...for Jesus to walk upon, how the hell did the disciples get a boat out there...must have been some hard rowing...

[panader0]

2. I always though it was an astral projection

Hell, them astral projections can walk on water and pass though stone walls. The guy who sais it might be ice Christ was walking on is reaching too far.

[savemefromdumbya]

3. Obviously not EVERYONe can walk on water!

[jaysunb]

4. Maybe we can get a few of these around here to try it.

Falwell, Robertson etc.

[Union Thug]

7. I would like to re-propose the Fundie Fear Factor show...

Testing their faith by walking through a pit of vipers, or a pride of hungry lions, or walk on water over a sea of hungry sharks. Have faith, it will sustain you.

[Union Thug]

5. Good riddance, god-wad. n/t

[DeSwiss]

12. Union Thug, that's a GREAT idea!!!

Maybe we can get a trend started. Falwell and Robertson are both close to the ocean, right? So obviously water-walking is the way to go.

Of course Dobson is in Colorado up in the mountains. Mmmmm.... maybe we can convince him he can fly???? You know, sort of a Pre-Rapture Test Flight????

[DeSwiss]

6. What I can't figure is this....

"He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back."

I woulda stopped when it got over my knees....

:+

[sharp_stick]

8. He was a fundie

Fundies don't have the brains to actually turn around. Maybe one of his flock will now realize what a sham fundies are but I doubt it.

[DeSwiss]

10. No...

...they probably thinks it was their fault that they didn't "have faith." Jeez....

[TlalocW]

9. From "Exit 57" a show from the 90s on Comedy Central

I'm just as good as that guy named Jesus
I can cure a cripple with a prosthesis
And I can walk on water... when it freezes

We had an evangelist constantly come to my grad school campus and yell at the women wearing pants and/or make-up. He claimed he could walk on water as well, but he wouldn't take me up on going to the nearby university pond and showing us.

TlalocW

[DeSwiss]

11. A guy named Jesus???

You don't mean this guy:

Hospital Asks Jesus To Change Name
Published: 23rd March 2006 09:00 CET

Bosses at a Stockholm hospital have asked a nurse called Jesus to change his name, after concerns that it might cause confusion among patients.

According to Jesus, an auxiliary nurse at Huddinge hospital, his superiors were worried that patients told "Jesus will be coming soon ," might get the wrong idea.

"If they thought that Jesus was coming they might believe that they were already dead," the nurse told The Local.

Jesus, who will now use his middle name Manuel, said he didn't have a problem with the change.

"I understand why they wanted me to use my middle name," he said.

But, he added, "my name never usually causes me problems."

[Odin2005]

13. LOL!

:spray: :rofl:

[TlalocW]

14. No

It was a video of one of the guys on the show playing guitar and singing about how his wife left him for Jesus - the famous one, with shots of them out on dates, goofing around, etc.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qRl97yoeIRk

Thank you, YouTube!

Stephen Colbert was a cast member on the show as was Amy Sedaris (in fact, she's the wife in the video).

TlalocW

[beam me up scottie]

15. And the Darwin Award goes to...

:rofl:

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, it's not funny...

[Random_Australian]

16. That is not what FSTDT has to say on the matter.

Frontpage.

Darwin award nomination.

[varkam]

17. No. It's pretty hilarious, actually.

Maybe that's just because of my dark sense of humor, but I think this ranks right up there with the duct tape boat in terms of humor.

[saltpoint]

18. The Dangers of Literal Bible Interpretation -- on the next Montel.

[DeSwiss]

19. Old Crusoe, I think....

...that we've got the makings of a new reality show!

As a matrer of fact, I think every minister should drive out to the nearest body of water and walk across it.

RIGHT NOW!!!

[saltpoint]

20. Hi, DeSwiss & welcome to DU.

Yep. You're right. We'll get Montel to host and each week we'll challenge a fundamentalist nutcase volunteer to test the literal reality of Scripture.

For the first episode, I think a walk-on-water challenge would be good, and made better if it was along the Florida Intercoastal Waterway around dusk. When the hammerheads come in to feed.

[DeSwiss]

21. LOLLLLL!!!!

"For the first episode, I think a walk-on-water challenge would be good, and made better if it was along the Florida Intercoastal Waterway around dusk. When the hammerheads come in to feed."

Now who do you s'pose we can get as our sponsors? The sun tan lotion folks is a given... Mmmm.... Maybe we should go after the bottled water people and energy drink folks. Standing around on the beach watching sharks feed can be thirsty work!

And thanks for the welcome, Crusoe. Its been postively amazing being around here and reading all the wide ranging opinions. Not all of which I agree with, but hey, that's what being a Dem means, no? And besides, what I see hear is mostly the result of the critical thinking process. Where people actually consider there OWN ideas rather than parrot talking points and slogans. I LOVE IT!!!

[saltpoint]

22. I was welcomed aboard when I first started posting here on DU and

have bumped into a hell of a lot of great folks. It's lively and often conflicting, but generally informative -- and frequently you run into a post you want to copy and keep, just for the enjoyment of reading it again.

I look forward to seeing your posts on these boards, DeSwiss.

Welcome.