"You Might Be Evangelical If..."

[banana republican]

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/archives/evangelical.html

10. When you pray, you punctuate all entreaties with as many "justs" as you can, as if to convince the Lord you are not asking too much. "Lord, we just want to thank you." "Lord, we just ask that you watch over Bobby as he heads off to college." Lord, can You really say no to such modest requests as these?

9. You take notes during the sermon. Whether you have a special notebook for this, or you use the blank margins of the bulletin, or you unfold notebook paper from your NIV Bible, you annotate an outline of the preacher's wisdom. Why else are those Power Point notes projected behind the pulpit? (Zipper Bible case pockets are optional.)

8. You receive at least three missionary prayer letters a month. These can be from tentmakers writing in code from lands that don't want their people converted, or they can be of the traditional variety, complete with reluctant requests for money but more importantly for prayers because they know God will provide all their needs (but send a love offering if you can; we're eighteen thousand dollars short for next year's budget).

[IsItJustMe]

1. When you talk to god, it's called prayer. When god talks to you, its

called psychitzophrenia.

[Democrats_win]

2. 7. You believe the 10 commandments only apply to sinners, not you.

Such as

a)it's ok to worship other gods like money.
b)it's ok to kill people as long as they're Iraqis.
c)it's ok to covet your neighbor's land to add on to your mega church. a.k.a. The Tower of Babel Sanctuary.
d) You don't have to pay taxes like honest atheist Americans.
e) You can use God's name in vain to support your local lying Republican candidate
f) Lying is ok as long as it's your "christain" president who does it and it's about getting us into a terrible war rather than a personal affair.
g) it's ok to ignore the Sermon on the Mount command to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And about 20 other ideas expressed in that sermon.
h) Greed is ok for Evangelicals.
i) it's ok to borrow and let your children pay your debt.

[NMMNG]

3. You have a glazed look in your eyes when worshipping

Gimme another hit Lord!

[raccoon]

4. When you pray, you use obsolete English such as "thou." nt