The "Conservative" Sermon On The Mount

[norml]

The "Conservative" Sermon On The Mount

Blessed are the rich for all good things trickle down from them. Cursed are the poor for poverty results from their moral failings. Blessed are the war makers for they keep freedom on the march. Cursed are the peacemakers for they shall be called appeasers. Blessed are those who inflict harsh punishments for they maintain law and order. Cursed are those who forgive for they shall be called soft on crime. Blessed are those who pray loudly standing in the churches and on the corners sounding the trumpet before them. Cursed are those who shut the closet door and pray in secret for their prayers are not heard. Blessed are those who cast the first stone for the sake of sexual morality for that is the only morality that matters. Cursed are those who see sexuality as a private matter for marriage must be defended against them.

[rucky]

1. i am so nominating this

can't wait to send a copy to my Rabbi

[norml]

4. Thank you! I wrote it as a LTTE for my local paper

Awhile ago someone else posted it from there in the Nebraska forum. I was reminded of it by a related thread, so I thought I'd repost it here.

[Melodybe]

2. Me too, reminds me of supply side Jesus

good stuff.

[yellowdogintexas]

3. copied, pasted and forwarded by email to a large number of

likeminded individuals

[thereismore]

5. kick

[DanCa]

6. Cool thank you for posting.

Funny how us heathens know more about the true spirit of the bible than the good folk of our lady of the perpetual dollar.

[Hidden Stillness]

7. A Couple More

Blessed are the capitalists who quote of the Gospels only to advance themselves, for they spread tidings of great joy. Cursed are those who follow Jesus and who sell what they own and give the money to the poor, for they shall be called "socialists," even though, uh, Jesus wasn't, somehow.

[Melodybe]

8. kick cause this is a good thread

[progressoid]

9. Hey - you wrote that?

Coolio. I sent a copy to my parents for their church study group when it was published! Lincoln Journal Star wasn't it?

[Hidden Stillness]

10. Blessed Are....

Blessed are those who divide the people, and attack them by sex, and race, and age, and sexual preference, and geography, for they remind us that the body is all, and the soul is nothing. Cursed are those who believe we are all equal before God, for they shall quote Scripture where it embarrasseth.

[raccoon]

11. kick nt

[blonndee]

12. Can I use this in my blog?

I'll give credit, obviously, but I'm trying to get inspired for my blog and I'd love to use this as a starting point.

[Free2BMe]

13. You make my point..Conservative Christian is an oxymoron.

[GOPBasher]

14. Beautiful! I'm nominating this! :-) n/t

[GOPBasher]

15. Oops: I was too late to nominate. But it's still awesome! n/t

[Hidden Stillness]

16. "Cursed Are...."

Cursed are the poor, for they are the fodder for factories, Empires and war. Blessed is the camel through the eye of a needle, which apparently fits now.