Why doesn't somebody who knows about plastics sit down and checkmate Kasparov?

[Boojatta]

The pieces of a standard chess set are made of plastic. During a chess game, any fact about the game depends upon the pieces. If you removed all of the plastic, then you would be removing all of the pieces. With no pieces on the board, there would be no chess game and no facts about the chess game.

Admittedly, reality consists of more than just facts. There are also ideas and emotions. However, you don't lose a game of chess just because some spectator has some foolish idea or hostile emotion. You win, lose, or draw based upon the facts. The people who have actual scientific knowledge of the relevant facts are those who have studied plastics.

[wtmusic]

1. Because Kasparov plays with wood, naturally.

The people who have actual scientific knowledge of the relevant facts are those who have studied chess.

[rug]

4. All the chess geeks do.

[cosmik debris]

2. The Graduate.

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

[uberllama42]

3. Thank you , cosmik

That was the most meaningful possible response. Good on you.

[varkam]

8. Seconded. eom

[Silent3]

5. Queen's pawn...

[ZombieHorde]

6. Chess pieces are made from wood or stone, unless you purchase

your set at Target, Wal-Mart, or a similar place.

[Boojatta]

7. You're simply defining what you mean by a "similar place", right?

A search engine, given the search string "regulation, chess, set, plastic", will take you to web pages that display descriptions of products that you can order online. If any of the products includes plastic chess pieces, then by definition the retailer is a place that is "similar" to Target and Walmart.

[ZombieHorde]

9. You would have to submit each of those stores to the store Class System for proper classification.

Lowest(Shameful)Class: Sells, or has sold, U2 albums*.
Eighth Class: Sells nothing on this list.
Seventh Class: Sells food.
Sixth Class: Sells plastic chess sets.
Fifth Class: Sells books.
Forth Class: Sells cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, porn, etc.
Third Class: Sells wooden and/or stone chess sets.
Second Class: Sells Zombie movies and/or Hentai
Highest(Exalted)Class: Sells both shovels and Vaseline.

The first test is the Shame test. Has the store ever sold a U2 album, or do they have one in stock? If the answer is 'yes', then stop, the store is of the lowest class.

*Many schools of thought include country western 'music' as well. I agree with this addition.

After the Shame test has been passed, the store's merchandise should be compared to the Highest Class, followed by the Second Class, and so on, until you have a match.

For example: If a store sells books, zombie movies, and food, then that store would be of the Second Class. If a store sells shovels, Vaseline, Tire irons, and U2 albums, then that store would be of the Lowest, or Shameful, or Ninth Class.

I hope this answers your question.

[HamdenRice]

10. There is no Kasparov. Only Zuul!

[Goblinmonger]

11. Dude, your funny. n/t

[edhopper]

12. What if

the match were played on a computer with no actual pieces, only virtual ones?
Of course that doesn't change the inanity of your question.