Jokes you could tell your Pastor, Priest or Minister....

[MsConduct]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed
in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life." The
child thought about this for a moment, then said,
"So why is the groom wearing black?"

##############

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was
running as fast as she could, trying not to be late
for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late!" While she was running and praying,
she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed
herself off, and started running again. As she ran
she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please
don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

###############

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they
give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they
give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and
it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

##############

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They
wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take me out when I'm dead.

##############

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said,
"Call for backup."

##############

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small
child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

##############

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and
thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

#############

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny
seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week
his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny
responded, "I have pain in my side I think I'm going to
have a wife."

###########

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after
hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the
other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned out. It's probably just your Dad.

[alittlelark]

1. I'm gonna save these for my kids in the morning

They'll love 'em!! Thanks!

[blogbear]

2. Good ones! Thanks!