The British government is poised to announce locations for new ‘looting zones’ throughout England to appease towns and villages which missed out on having their high streets and shopping malls wantonly trashed in last week’s riots.
The nationwide list of soon-to-be-vaporised ghost towns remains a closely guarded secret, but is said to include Gateshead, Solihull, Chipping Sodbury, and the 2012 Olympic Village.
Government ministers and locals alike have hailed the proposals as a massive boost to the chavs, ballerinas, aspiring rappers, Olympic ambassadors and millionaires’ teenage spawn that stalk Britain’s most unutterably sterile provincial shitholes.
Environment Minister Caroline Spelman told us, “Last week the sickness levels amongst my Meriden constituents on realising they had missed out on the Birmingham riots by a mere twelve miles were of positively parrot-like proportions.”
http://newsthump.com/2011/08/18/government-announces-new-%E2%80%98looting-zones%E2%80%99-to-boost-economic-collapse/
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