Conservatives Announce Changes To 'Team Harper'Conservative leader Stephen Harper stunned media representatives at a Tuesday morning press conference with his statement that he had renounced God and Jesus as, respectively, his Lord and Saviour and intended to form a pact with Satan.
Harper told media representatives that the decision had been ‘difficult’ because he, God and Jesus ‘were on pretty close terms for a long time’ adding ‘but, there is no room for sentiment in politics.'
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Harper indicated he started to consider the Team Harper shake-up shortly after aides informed him that Satan, rather than God, was the source of all earthly wealth and power. The Conservative leader used hockey metaphors to illustrate his points, indicating that to win a game ‘all team members have to show up willing to go the full sixty minutes. Lately neither God or Jesus has shown much interest in getting off the bench and putting a few in the net for Team Harper, so I decided it was time send them down to the minors and put Satan in at center for the power play’.
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'It hasn’t been easy for God.’ the angel stated ‘There are just too many of these political yahoos using his name in vain to justify all sorts of bizarre and untoward acts’. The angel went on to indicate that the King of Heaven had hoped to ‘make an appearance on the Larry King show to set the record straight and distance himself from unwanted political associations’ however ‘ was bumped from the show so Larry could interview Judge Judy Sheindlin.’
http://www.vivelecanada.ca/article.php/20051215155037405
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