You know you're from Pennsylvania when...

[IronLionZion]

You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

You owe more money on your snowmobile or John Deere than your car.

The first day of "Buck Season" and "Doe Season" is a school holiday.

Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.

The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.

School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.

When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.

You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. As in Living Room Suite.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You only buy your beer and soda by the case.

You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

You find -20F "a little" chilly.

You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

There are still places you can still stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.

You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Penna. friends......


source:http://www.ahajokes.com/pennsylvania_jokes.html

[napi21]

1. That was GREAT!

I lived in Pa for 40+ years, and I can realate to all of them!

[anti_shrub]

2. Only a half hour for School closings?

I wish, takes an hour min...

[readmylips]

3. Bird in Hand is a town and not ....

masterbation...

[IronLionZion]

6. Turkey foot is not something you eat at thanksgiving

and 84 is not just a number. They are both towns. Snyder's of Berlin is the ONLY brand of potato chips (a favorite in West Penn).

[Sinistrous]

11. Snyder's makes great pretzels,

but NOBODY beats Utz (Hanover) for potato chips.

[Penndems]

16. Gotta be Martin's Potato Chips, folks

Nice and crisp, not greasy. :)

[rabid_nerd]

20. Utz!

Or Troyer Farms if you're in the Erie Area

[Momof1]

15. What about Middleswarth?

I send chips to Florida every year. Now those are really good chips. With Hartley's chips a close 2nd.

[Freddie Stubbs]

14. Don't forget about Blue Ball

http://maps.yahoo.com/py/maps.py?Pyt=Tmap&&csz=Blue+Ball+PA+&Get%A0Map=Get+Map

[starroute]

4. I do live in Pennsylvania and I hardly recognize any of them

They sound like they'd be more appropriate to upstate New York.

Except for the start of deer hunting season being a holiday (Monday after Thanksgiving) and for remembering Hurricane Agnes and Three Mile Island, I'm pretty clueless.

[IronLionZion]

5. you're kidding right?

I can relate to all of them! I guess it could be for upstate and western NY too but whatever. NY roads are far superior to anything PA has. Even the competely rebuilt part of the Turnpike is shameful. At least ours was first!

Which part of PA are you from? In West Penn, "Hey yens guys" is a common greeting too.

[starroute]

8. Southeastern PA

A different universe, I guess.

[themann1086]

9. Yeah about half

don't really apply to southeast PA, but thanks to my physics teacher from central Pennsylvania, I know the rest. ah, good times in that class...

[goobergunch]

17. School closings apply, though

Waiting for KYW to get to "864" takes forever.

[IronLionZion]

7. Iron City, Rolling Rock, Yuengling, Penn Pilsener, etc.

are the ONLY beers you need to know! PA has good beer as far as American beer goes.

[rogerashton]

22. No, no, no ...

Stoudt's Scarlet Lady, Victory Hop Devil ...

[RPM]

10. When some tool....

from Philly starts a "Which is better - Pittsburgh or Philly" thread on DU.


:freak:

[JVS]

12. You never worry about the liquor store across town having better prices

[IronLionZion]

13. When you cross the state line to buy cheaper liquor or to gamble.

[No Mandate Here.]

18. When the crookedest, oldest, bumpiest dog path of a road...

...is better, smoother, safer and faster than the Turnpike between Pittsburgh and Donegal. (Perpetually under construction- building that road and all the new prisons are the only growth industries in this part of the state)

[MrSlayer]

19. Being from South Philly most of this doesn't apply.

In fact the only thing that is true is that I buy my beer by the case. This is reflective of the rest of the state however, I'm sure.

[rabid_nerd]

21. I know these ones don't apply state-wide...

Critiques (++ = true, -- = false)

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

-- Never ever did that

You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. As in Living Room Suite.

-- Or ever heard that

You only buy your beer and soda by the case.

++ OK This is true but only because you can't buy anything smaller unless you go to a bar

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.

++ You got that right. I hate it when they reenact. You get that itchy trigger finger. (just kidding - really!)

You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.

++ and West Middlesex

[Momof1]

26. Pig's Stomach anyone? lol.

Snip:
Critiques (++ = true, -- = false)

You call sloppy joes "barbecue."

-- Never ever did that

You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. As in Living Room Suite.

-- Or ever heard that
Unsnip

I beg to differ. LOL. And my mom had a very nice living room suit.

Its a local thing, in fact a church down the road just had a Pig's Stomach sale. Its really good you should try it. LOL


;-)

[IronLionZion]

23. When you elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans

When you give distances in minutes

[IronLionZion]

24. Here are some more

* You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
* You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
* You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips,pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.

* You know what REAL pot pie is.
* YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
* You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.
* You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."
* You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

* You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've never attended PennState, you are a most obnoxious Penn State fan. (WE ARE...ANNOYING!)
* Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

* School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.

* Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).
* Have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . "
* Know that Wilkes-Barre is pronounced "Wilks Berry."
* Can pronounce "Knoebels."
* Can pronounce (or spell) "Schuylkill."
* Live for summer, when street fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
* Have a day off school on the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is the first day of hunting season.
* Never have to worry about being stuck in a ditch when it's snowing. -someone in a 4WD pickup with tow chains will be along shortly.
* Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans for Governor (i.e., Casey and Ridge)
* Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market? Mind if I come with?"
* Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a whole nother issue."

[Joy Anne]

27. The real Pennsylvania

Yes, that sounds like my Pennsylvania, complete with obnoxious Penn State partisans, although I went to Temple and got civilized. The first list had so much cold and snow that it sounded like northern Quebec.
Explaining beer distributors to out-of-state people is difficult.

[Pale Blue Dot]

28. TEMPLE!!!!!!!!!

T for Temple U
U niversity
We will fight, fight, fight for the cherry and the white
For the cherry and the white we will fight, fight fight!

Hi, fellow Temple alumnae, and welcome to DU!

[Joy Anne]

29. Owls forever

Why, thank you! I signed up for a lifetime Temple e-address just the other day, and despite the grave injustices done to David Bradley, which prevent me from ever donating another penny until the university apologizes, I still think Temple's the absolutely best place to get an education.

[IronLionZion]

25. and even more

# "Hey yunz guyz!" is a greeting.
# You get time off of work/school for the entire three-day doe season.
# One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve.
# You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room.
# You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius.

# You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny.
# You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer; you've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.
# You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach, or Myrtle Beach.
# You are over 35 yrs. old, have never been outside of Pennsylvania and don't see any need to leave.
# You own only three spices: "salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup." (or possibly A-1 and Heinz 57 sauces)

# You design your children's Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit.
# Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
# You find 20 degrees just a little chilly.
# You can recite the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
# Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you.

# You can use the phrase "fire-hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
# You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road.
# You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the supermarket parking lot.
# You constantly refer to Pennsylvania as "PA". How many other states do that?
# You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal.

# You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, Mars, Venus, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.
# You actually got all these jokes and are forwarding them to your PA friends.