Stealing Signs in Ohio.

[Kukesa]

I recently sold 5 yard signs to a sweet old lady who really couldn't afford to buy them. She phoned me today and told me that 3 of the signs have been stolen. She was so upset and mentioned that the Bush signs in her neighborhood are still standing.

I contacted a lawyer friend of mine just to see if these creeps are breaking any laws; here's what she said:

Taking these signs is not a prank, it is theft. Revised Code Section 2913.02 defines theft as knowingly obtaining or exerting control over either the property or services of another without their consent, and with purpose to deprive the owner of of said property or services. It doesn't say that the property has to have any specified level of value. If the value of the property is under $500 theft is a 1st degree misdemeanor (maximum 180 days in local jail & $1000.00 fine) You should note, however, that if the victim is an elderly person or disabled person, theft of even a small amount is a felony of the 5th degree. Elderly person is defined as 65 or older. Bet your friend qualifies. Good luck!

And, yes, I do plan to replace those signs; I'll kick in my own money because I can't bear to ask that sweet lady for more money.

Now, how do we catch those Bush bastards who are doing this stealing?


:mad:

[Gyre]

1. video cameras w/ night vision work well

along with some high-powered flashlights. Lay a trap, get the evidence, the license plate. Turn it all over to the cops. If you have any problems after that leave me a message.

Gyre

[Maddy McCall]

2. Pungy sticks?

:-)

[Kukesa]

8. OK, what's a "pungy stick?" n/t

[Maddy McCall]

9. Booby trap. Hidden pit full of spiked sticks...

Used in Viet Nam. Impales people who fall in.

And let me stress this. I was kidding. :-)

[Kukesa]

11. Well, DUH! I really am a BLONDE. Thanx, j. n/t

[theorist]

3. This was happening in Pensacola, FL.

This is a link to the story. I remember reading another another article that mentioned Kerry supporters starting to hang the signs from trees. This may be a drastic (not to mention a pain, potentially dangerous, and unfair) measure, but it would make a great tape if you could get the chumps trying to take it down on that night vision camera.

[Philostopher]

4. Y'know what I think might work?

You probably won't catch them by doing it, but if people who put the signs in their yards would do two things, it might cut down on thefts:

A motion-detector porch light. Our cost less than $50, and campaign signs ain't the only thing they help with. They're great when you walk a dog at night, or if you go shopping after dark.

A fake surveillance camera body, pointed at the sign and illuminated by the motion-detector light.

I know there were some people who had problems with this in their districts in the midterms, and there were many suggestions, the two above included -- I'd say a motion detector light and a webcam in a window pointing at the sign would give you an idea which neighbor is vandalizing your property, but that raises the stakes a bit.

By the way -- I keep meaning to e-mail you, but I spend so much time on here I hardly look at it, anymore -- if there's any kind of 'back office' stuff we can do, e-mail me. Mr. Nownow and I are lousy salespeople, I don't think we'd do much good door-to-door or phone banking, but if there's any need for other stuff, like errands, office supplies, computer troubleshooting, just running out for meals or bringing sodas, we'd be happy to help out. We could go out in the evenings and drop off yard signs in our neighborhood, if you need any help with that.

We've been donating since early last year, but we'd be happy to do any of that sort of stuff, if you know of anything that wants doing.

[Kukesa]

7. Thanks for the offer, nownow.

I'll keep it in mind and sure appreciate your wanting to help.

[bigendian]

5. Smear honey on it.

It seems to work for a lady here in Nashville. We have had the same kind of problem on both sides.

[jimshoes]

6. Hire a great big guy to wait in the dark

then jump out and give the turds a heart attack.

[mongo]

12. oooh - Pick me - Pick me!

I like to hide in the dark and scare people.

Maybe I should advertise in the paper:

Curmudgeon available for sign guard duty. Reasonable rates. 6'0", 240lbs. Has own stick. Republicans NEED NOT respond.

[Kukesa]

14. Just keep scaring the Repukes, Mongo.

I have a feeling you're just a sweet old Dem softie!

[AngryOldDem]

10. Two Suggestions (Without Getting Extreme)

>>Now, how do we catch those Bush bastards who are doing this stealing?>>

This is BS.

I can only think of two suggestions:

1. I've said this before: Call the cops, make an official report about the thefts. Signs -- no matter the value -- are still private property, and three thefts constitute a pattern. The police should also have no issue about making extra patrols on that street, if asked. If there is any way to put some kind of obstacle around the sign (decorative rocks, or something that would slow someone down who is trying to get to the sign), that might help too.

2. I know you want maximum visibility for the sign, but another suggestion would be to place it closer to the house, facing directly out to the street rather than placed in the middle of the yard. Placing it in a window is another option.

You feel helpless, which is exactly what these a-holes want you to feel. That only serves to make them more bold. I say, keep replacing the signs and be vocal about it every time they are stolen. I think HQ needs to be informed of this too, but I trust you have already done that.

But perhaps it's time to just go to the heavy artillery -- cayenne pepper and fox urine. What a country.

Edit to add: How frequently is this happening in other parts of the state? Is it more than the usual election year sign theft?

[trag]

13. They hit me too.

And they keep hitting different parts of town. But one thing I noticed this weekend. Some Bush signs were stolen as well. I have neigbors with shotguns just waiting to shot some one. Its getting crazy around here.