S.I. hubby let wife kill self (Let Drive over Cliff with 2 Kids in Van)

[RamboLiberal]

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/427169p-360228c.html

A man intent on fulfilling his beloved wife's death wish stepped aside as she killed herself by driving the family minivan with their two children inside down a 300-foot cliff, authorities said Friday.

Hejin Han, 35, was dead at the scene of the Wednesday afternoon crash. Their children, who were strapped into their seats, survived with only minor injuries.

Her husband, Victor Han, 34, was arraigned Friday in Justice Court in the suburban Town of Stony Point, about 40 miles northwest of New York City, on charges of promoting a suicide attempt, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child.

<snip>

In the tree-lined Staten Island neighborhood where the family lived, neighbors were in disbelief. "I knew Victor very well," said Kim Barbagallo, whose husband and Victor Han had worked together recently to rebuild the Barbagallos' home. Han, an architect, designed it and Anthony Barbagallo, a builder, constructed it.

<snip>

"They're a fabulous family," said Kim Barbagallo, who gathered with stunned neighbors at her home. "She was very sweet. They go to church on Sunday. They were always together as a family."

[Megahurtz]

1. Okay that's just crazy. n/t

[zreosumgame]

2. sorry, but that is about the lamest excuse

this guy is seriously stupid and dangerous to others.

[Tanuki]

3. Those poor little girls!

I'm really glad they survived, but how traumatic for them to grow up knowing that both of their parents were willing to have them die horrible deaths.

[newburgh]

6. If nothing else, sure proves the effectiveness of child constraints!

"Now, police have charged Victor Han with knowing that his wife was suicidal and gave her an opportunity to. He was also charged with reckless endangerment in the first degree and endangering the welfare of a child."

http://www.midhudsonnews.com/News/Han_charged-16May06.htm

From this story, it just seems strange. Why would this man endanger his children's life? And if that was the case, not that one could expect anyone to survive such a fall, why did he leave the children in the constraints? There's obviously more to this story than what both these articles cover.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

32. My first thought...

He thought if the kids were with her, she wouldn't do anything crazy... like this.

I've known suicidals that were not willing to risk others. Maybe he thought that if she had the kids she would be ok? :shrug:

[JI7]

4. it makes it sound as if he was doing the honorable thing

and there is no excuse for allowing the kids to die. it's amazing they survived but he was willing to and probably wanted them to die.

[MaineDem]

5. This is incomprehensible to me

Totally blows my mind how someone could allow this to happen.

There must be mental demons in this guy's psyche.

[Karmakaze]

7. I dunno, something smells about this...

Maybe its this:

"Investigators said a "number of holes" appeared in his story early in nearly 15 hours of questioning."

Just how far into those 15 hours did Han finally break?

[HuffleClaw]

10. hmmmmmm

sounds like the nancy grace school of justice to me. blame the man.

[daleo]

8. Neither article says how the police know that the husband was aware

of the wife's state of mind, or that he knew she would drive the car off the cliff. I will withhold judgment until there is more to go on.

I have known people in a suicidal state of mind. There isn't much one can do to stop them (or encourage them, if that was your intention), as far as I have seen.

I wonder if this isn't a case of over zealous police work.

[Gin]

9. maybe it was "HIS" wish...

g

[smirkymonkey]

11. That's what I think. Allowing a spouse to take their own life is

one thing, allowing them to take your children along for the ride is insane. What kind of father would ever let his children be "suicided".

The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

[daleo]

12. But how do we know that the husband knew what she intended to do?

I have had people close to me commit suicide. You just can't predict that sort of thing, and you can't lock them up. The fact that the mother took the children down the cliff with her is probably evidence of just how unpredictable this was.

After a suicide the survivors naturally wrack their brains for signs, and flagellate themselves for "letting it happen". The police evidence may be no more than the husband saying "why did I let her take the wheel? I was so stupid. It's all my fault." This kind of guilt can be a manifestation of survivor grief.

Suicide is a terrible and unpredictable action.

[LisaL]

15. What do you mean, allowing?

If I was riding in a car with someone who said they are going to drive the car off a cliff, I would get out of the car, if I could. If that person than drove off a cliff, did I allow them to commit suicide, or was I saving myself?

[Bluerthanblue]

18. did I miss

where it said 'she' was driving?
He said something about realizing the car wasn't in park- If she was that determined, and she was driving, there would be no reason to stop for a picture- or stop at all- If she didn't mind taking the kids with her, I don't believe she'd mind taking him.-???

[LisaL]

22. Well, how about it said that

right here:
"she killed herself by driving the family minivan with their two children inside down a 300-foot cliff, authorities said Friday."
I read it to indicate she was driving. Of course if he was driving, and then got out knowing she was suicidal, that would be a different story. But this article does not make it very clear, does it?

[Bluerthanblue]

23. well, it says:

"Han told police he stopped on Perkins Memorial Drive, a two-lane road that circles the mountain and offers spectacular panoramas of the Hudson River Valley.

He also told investigators that he put the van in park but it started to move and that he desperately tried to grab the bumper to stop its deadly roll. But the vehicle slipped between two boulders that act as a barrier from the precipice and tumbled down the mountainside."

It also said that she told him she was intent on suicide, and would kill the children as well- yet he chose to leave the motor running, and stop on a steep mountain???

this sounds pretty weird indeed-

[fortyfeetunder]

13. This reminds me of Rusty Yates

knowing the wife was suicidal but the intervention was lacking.
Sad for the children left behind.

[BlueIris]

14. I can't believe I of all people am about to post this but:

what this sick man did (or rather, failed to do) actually makes him worse than even Rusty in my eyes. And, respectfully..."(S)ad for the children"?? The daughters will be extraordinarily lucky if they make it to adulthood with any semblance of sanity to their names.

[Bluerthanblue]

17. what

you say is something painfully honest, and I believe 'truth'-
There are wounds that never heal, and there is a fate worse than death-
But I suspect you know that, already-
Too sad, and too close to home for me.

everyone has lost in this-

peace,
blu

and an aside-
Just stopping on the Bear Mountain Road is reckless- I drove on that road once, and I'm no pansy when it comes to navagating rough terrain, and avoided it by driving way out of my way on the return trip- I can't imagine what incredible sight would lead him to stop on the road to take a picture????????

[rocktivity]

16. If he knew she wanted to do this, why did he leave the kids in the van?

Police said the family had stopped the car in Bear Mountain State Park...Han got out of the minivan and his wife "put the vehicle in drive and locked the doors"...(T)he evidence indicated Han left the car knowing that his wife was suicidal...

"Knowing" she was suicidal isn't quite the same as knowing that she intended to commit suicide. And after 15 hours of questioning, it's possible that he was willing to admit to anything. But it's equally possible that he put her "under orders" to commit suicide, and take the kids with her. That would be murder, right? "Promoting a suicide attempt, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child" might be getting off light for this guy!

:headbang:
rocknation

[BlueIris]

20. Like you, I can't believe the charges stopped at "reckless endangerment"

"of a child." I just...what?

[daleo]

21. You can't order someone to commit suicide

He may have known she had suicidal tendencies, but that doesn't mean he could do much about it, for good of ill. If she was intent on suicide she could do it at a time of her choosing, with or without the kids.

I still haven't seen anything concrete in the articles to indicate that he caused or encouraged her suicide. If he wanted to murder his wife and kids, he chose an unprecedented way to do so.

[Porcupine]

19. When Husbands threaten suicide they call it domestic violence.

The Domestic Violence people say that it is a threat that men use to control women. It's about controlling the spouse not suicide right?

It's very likely that this man had heard this threat many times before. He probably expected to get back into the van after a few minutes of posturing just like last time. Now HE'S the crimnal. It's a good thing that women are never responsible for their actions when there's a man around to blame.

I feel sorry for the guy. Poor sap.

[Bluerthanblue]

24. Link to up-dated story here, - explains some of the questions-

and opens up others-

http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_167231957.html

I agree with you even more BlueIris- the kids will need a miracle to get through this ok-
what a f--ked up world we live in.

[rocktivity]

27. ...Han's co-worker...admitted being...(his) mistress

and said he knew his wife wanted to kill herself. Tiana Yin said in a signed police statement: "Hejin would threaten him (by) hurting the kids if he doesn’t listen her way."

...Han admitted to flirting with his own suicide in February, saying in his statement to police: "I wrote to Hejin stating that I had let everybody down and that the real reason I wanted to go to Bear Mountain was to jump."

So he's had Bear Mountain on his mind since February--curiouser and curiouser! But it still doesn't explain why he didn't get his kids out of the vehicle--or even why he didn't seek help when his wife threatened to harm the kids. If he wanted to end the mariage, that alone would have been more than sufficent grounds...unless he and the mistress did not want to be burdened with children...

:headbang:
rocknation

[daleo]

28. I don't know if there is a crime here

He had an affair.
His wife caught him.
He said he let everyone down and thought of suicide months earlier, on Bear Mountain.
She commits suicide by driving the car over Bear Mountain in front of him (and nearly kills their kids).

There is a huge amount of psychological pain here, but I am not sure if I can see a crime. Not unless it can be established that he brought her to Bear Mountain knowing she would respond by trying to drive off the cliff.

I don't know how that could be proven in a court of law - maybe the 15 hour police interview has something about that, but any testimony resulting from a police interview after an event like that (witnessing your wife commit suicide) is going to be thoroughly challenged by a defense lawyer.

Note, the word "allegedly" belongs in the first four sentences above.

[LisaL]

29. Frankly, it sounds like both of them were suicidal.

I don't know if any crime can be proven here either.

[rocktivity]

30. If the wife specifically threatened to harm the children due to his affair

and he took no action to get them away from her, he should be facing charges of involuntary manslaughter, not endangerment.

:headbang:
rocknation

[truthisfreedom]

25. i think they should have printed the brand of minivan. 300 feet down a

cliff and the kids suffered "only minor injuries"? whether or not you're insane, it's good to know there are tough minivans out there.

[Bluerthanblue]

26. they did- I think it was an Odessy, so it would be Honda-

pretty good recommendation for them.

[bling bling]

31. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being charged with murder.

They've already indicated that they found holes in his story early on. Sounds suspicious. Nobody who is otherwise normal "lets" their spouse attempt to kill their children. Actually, nobody who is otherwise normal "lets" their spouse kill him/her self unless he/she is terminally ill or something. Unless there's some sort of cultural dynamic involved that I haven't factored in.

The guy might be lying, but at least he admitted to something they can charge him with and lock him up for. In the meantime, they can continue the investigation.