The mutant cricket in evlbstrd's house has been identified

[Mabus]

We've got one too. Apparently, other people are being visited by them this year.

Cave crickets also known as Camel crickets or Spider Crickets or even "sprickets" are orthopteroid insects of the family Rhaphidophoridae which are found in association with caves.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cave_Cricket

Apparently, we all live in caves or a lot of them are looking for a new habitat. :shrug: If it is the latter, I wonder what they know that we don't? :scared:

[evlbstrd]

1. So I live in a cave.

Explains a lot, actually. But the article doesn't say what they eat.

[Mabus]

2. Between you and my husband

it is simply amazing that I get anything done. :banghead: ;)


Okay, I did a search and found, from reputable sources, conflicting information. I found one K-State pdf that said they were herbivores. I found another mention of the critters on another K-State page that said they were carnivores. Then I found one that said they are mostly herbivores but they are, once in a while, predators. If they get hungry enough they will eat their own body parts. So, it looks like it will eventually take care of itself. After it has eaten all the other bugs around our respective houses, it will eat itself. :rofl:

[evlbstrd]

3. You think you're getting nothing done now.

I'm setting up a Self-Cannibalizing Mutant Cricket Cam!

[Mabus]

4. You should also set up a youtube account

so you can share the video with everyone.

I do think it is a little strange that this mutant cricket is invading homes this year. I think I may have just come up with a possible topic of discussion for tomorrow's AIT meetup.

[evlbstrd]

5. Hell, you're an anti-Christ.

You're supposed to know about this shit.

[Mabus]

6. The little buggers are jumping ahead of schedule

I didn't have them penned in to show up for another couple of years. They were going to be part of the new pestilence I'm planning on unleashing.

[evlbstrd]

7. Maybe my bathroom needs an exorcism.

Or do you think we could tame them?

[Mabus]

8. I'd just get a box of borax

Not because I think you need to clean your bathroom (and besides, I have no room to talk in that area) but because of the boric acid. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boric_acid#Uses

[evlbstrd]

9. Aw, I don't want to kill it.

It's fun to watch what happens when he sneaks up on you.

[Mabus]

11. One source said

that they like to jump at threats. They're like the W of insects.

[evlbstrd]

14. Then you shouldn't have threatened him.

I think the mutant crickets are smarter than W. And we haven't armed them yet.

[Mabus]

15. What should we arm them with?

Laser beams on their heads?

[evlbstrd]

16. Yes!

And tiny little machine guns. Of course, body armor.

[Mabus]

17. We've got to get them good boots

I read that they will eat their own legs. And you can bet, if they will their legs as food that, they will use their legs as weapons. So, if we get them some really sturdy boots they can cause damage.


Hey, how about this? What if we cross-breed them with your salamander goo? That way, if they use one of their legs, it will grow back. We'll have a self-replenishing army.

[evlbstrd]

18. You're on to something big.

Even though they're big as crickets go, you can still jam a whole lot of them into a vat of salamander goo.
That reminds me, could you or the Admiral benefit from an extra limb or organ? There are some side effects to all of this.

[Mabus]

19. If you've got an extra liver

I've got a bottle of chianti. :party:

edited to add: I also have some fresh fava beans.

[evlbstrd]

20. HA HA HA HA HA AH!1!1!!!12

Mutant basement grown solvent based liver! With onions!

[Mabus]

21. What's the worst that could happen?

Another e. coli outbreak? :shrug:

[evlbstrd]

22. A mere piffle.

[Mabus]

23. Great minds

Mawhahahahahaha!

[evlbstrd]

24. Between us,

we might have a mind.

[Mabus]

25. Or find someone who does

Or better yet, maybe we can find the people who have ours. :shrug:

[evlbstrd]

26. If someone else has them,

we must find them before they abuse the power!

[Mabus]

27. The bastards must be stopped!

This could be HUGH11!!11! We might alreedy bee screwn!!11!11

[evlbstrd]

28. OMG!!11!11!!

My hair is starting to hurt!

[atommom]

10. Maybe you could form an evil army of flesh-eating crickets.

They would have to be trained to eat only Republican flesh...

[Mabus]

12. Now, those are mutants I can live with

:spray: :rofl:

[evlbstrd]

13. That's the ticket.

My daughter's pug is already Republican kill-trained.

[BuelahWitch]

29. My friend Dell has them in his basement too

We saw one the other night. It seemed quite disoriented when he turned the lights on, and he was easily able to stomp it to death.

[Mabus]

30. Oh no!

That was one of our specially mutated scouts fresh from evl's basement. You've just set Project Cricketmania back several hours.

[BuelahWitch]

33. I'm sorry, I have an innate prejudice against insects

Yes, I've taken the Insect Sensitivity Training many times, but I just can't feel warm and fuzzy for anything with more than 4 legs. They give me the heebie jeebies.

[Mabus]

35. It was probably one of the defective ones anyway

After all, you were able to squish it. It was supposed to sprout an extra legs, thanks to evl's special salamander additives, and sprint safely away. Time to go back to the drawing board in evl's cave.

[evlbstrd]

31. Good lord!

I hope it wasn't the Queen!

[BuelahWitch]

32. Didn't seem like a Queen

More like a cross between John Wayne and Keith Richards. Macho SoB, but stoned.

[evlbstrd]

34. You're right.

Not the Queen. But definitely one of my, uh, creations. My stash seemed light this morning.

[BuelahWitch]

36. Could it possibly be a George W. Bush cricket?

Artificially macho and stoned?

[evlbstrd]

37. That would mean I've tainted the gene pool.

I like to think I'm a better breeder of giant mutant crickets than that.

[BuelahWitch]

38. Back to the drawing board

Maybe a Jimmy Carter humanitarian cricket? One that can build houses and work to bring peace to the middle east?

[evlbstrd]

39. That's my kind of plague.