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Johnny's Little Blue Wagon - The Awful Truth

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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 08:45 PM
Original message
Johnny's Little Blue Wagon - The Awful Truth
Once upon a time there was a boy named Johnny who wanted a little blue wagon. In his dreams he had seen it: a beautiful dark blue wagon, well-built, made to carry a lot and still move smoothly. It was the kind his father had when he was a little boy way back when, the kind nearly every kid used to have. For years, though, the most popular wagons had been the little red wagons made by the GOP Company of Freeperville, Alabama. They were awful little wagons that broke down constantly, but they were cheap and easy to replace and the commercials for them were everywhere. This frustrated Johnny to no end, and his friends wondered why he just didn't get a little red wagon like everyone else. Johnny was right, of course: the little red wagons were nothing but a scam, and the GOP Company was rich because people kept having to buy new ones. But nobody cared how bad they were, and some were afraid not to get one because they wouldn't fit in, like Johnny.

But Johnny's parents understood. They really wanted him to have that little blue wagon he had always dreamed of. So all year his father and mother worked hard and saved money so that he could have the best wagon that was out there, and at Christmas, Johnny received a shiny new wagon from the BHO Company of Chicago, Illinois, a beautiful blue wagon with a little red trim, the best and sturdiest wagon that was currently available, one even his father said was every bit as good as the little blue wagon he had as a kid, and that year many kids got one under their Christmas tree as well. A lot of people still had the crappy old red wagons, but this year the shiny new BHO wagons were the most popular, a big change from days past.

So Johnny, beaming with excitement, began to parade the wagon around the neighborhood, drawing astonished glances from all the other children who were still dragging those awful little red wagons all over the sidewalks.

And then it happened. One of the front wheels fell off. Johnny turned to look at the wagon, lifting it off the sidewalk to get a better look. And all that beautiful blue paint started to flake off in Johnny's little hands. Underneath the blue, Johnny saw nothing but red. And the shiny metal BHO Company label fell off, held onto the wagon by cheap glue. And that's when Johnny started to cry. Because hidden underneath the shiny metal BHO Company label was a cheap plastic GOP Company label. By this time, the kids with the crappy red wagons were pointing at Johnny and laughing viciously.

Johnny's parents heard his cries and ran outside to see what was the matter. Then they learned the awful truth about Johnny's little blue wagon. Mother burst into tears, frustrated that she had been taken by yet another scam. Father balled his hand into a clenched fist, his teeth clenched in anger.

That's when the kindly old man in tattered blue overalls came around the corner and dropped to his knee in front of Johnny and his crappy red wagon painted to look like a shiny blue one. He tried to console the boy with a candy cane, then looked up at Johnny's parents. And he spoke:

"I am so sorry, folks - I used to work at the BHO Company, and we worked so hard to make these little blue wagons just as smooth and sturdy as the little blue wagons you and I had as children. But something awful happened at the company. One day, I punched my timecard on my way into the workshop, and there was this new boss with beady eyes and a big cigar between his teeth. And this new boss told us that the GOP Company of Freeperville, Alabama had taken over the BHO Company when nobody was looking, and we would be building BHO wagons with GOP parts from now on, and if we didn't like it, we could leave the workshop and never come back. I stayed as long as I could, because I have a wife and a little boy to take care of, too. But when the new boss started ordering us to paint the wagons with cheap blue paint in order to trick people into buying them, I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out of the shop and never looked back."

Then the kindly old man patted a sobbing Johnny on the shoulder, and he said: "If you'll let me work on the wagon, I still remember the way these wagons are supposed to be built. I think I can fix the wheels and the handle so that they won't come off so easily. And I still have some of the blue paint we used to make the good blue wagons with, so I can give your wagon a really good coat of shiny blue paint with no red showing."

"I hate my wagon," sobbed Johnny. His mother and father stifled a sob.

"I know," said the kindly old man, "but if you'll give me a chance, I think I can turn this wagon into one that you'll truly love. Will you give me the chance?"

Johnny nodded his head. And the kindly old man was true to his word. He took the wagon back to his garage. He replaced all of the crappy GOP wheels with smooth and sturdy wheels that he managed to rescue from the garbage dump behind the BHO Company. He tightened the handle and oiled it so that it wouldn't squeak or come off. Finally, he painted the entire wagon a deep and beautiful blue.

And Johnny saw his little blue wagon, and he jumped for joy, because it looked like the wagon his father had when he was a little boy. And he hugged the kindly old man so tight. And he hugged his mother and father so tight. And he thanked them all for his shiny little blue wagon, which he took around the neighborhood just as he did earlier that morning. But this time, the wheels remained tight, the wagon didn't fall apart, and the beautiful blue paint didn't flake off. And Johnny loved his little blue wagon.

All the neighborhood children with their crappy red wagons looked at Johnny's little blue wagon in astonishment. A couple began to wish they had little blue wagons just like Johnny's. But most of the children seethed in anger and jealousy because Johnny refused to give in, fit in, and get a little red wagon from the GOP Company. And the parents of the children with the crappy red wagons began to conspire against the kindly old man, and they brought the kindly old man and his garage to the attention of the boss with the beady eyes and the big cigar.

What happens next has yet to be written. Now it is your turn to finish the story.

(With all due apologies to Cup O' Joe.)
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FrenchieCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 08:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. So Barack Obama is really a Republican.
and one should have voted or John Edwards, Hillary Clinton and Dennis Kucinich, and lived happily ever after.
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Wrong answer...
The moral of the story is that the wagon can still be fixed. The Obama administration can also be fixed. But the time to fix things is now.
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FrenchieCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Can't be fixed if its owned by the GOP Co., which is what you stated
in your fairy tale.

I prefer the Tortoise and the Hare Myself!



Once upon a time there was an anxious hare(the base) who, boasting how he could get things done faster than anyone else, and was forever teasing the tortoise (President) for his slowness about getting all of their mutual agenda passed.

Annoyed by such bragging, the tortoise accepted the challenge to see who could get the most done in the time alloted (4 years). A course was planned, and the next day at dawn they stood at the starting line. The hare kept on teasing the tortoise as he trudged slowly off. When the hare saw how painfully slow his rival was, he decided, half asleep on his feet, to veer off the road to the race, and attempt to bring with him every single thing he ever wanted done with him onto the course. And so he took a different path in order to gather all of the demands. "Take your time!" he said. "I'll catch up with you in a minute."

The hare came back to the path and gazed round, looking for the tortoise. But the creature was only a short distance away, having barely covered a third of the course, and having only accomplished a few things thus far.

Breathing a sigh of relief, the hare decided he might as well have go off the track again to find a stick to beat the tortoise with. He thought that this would be great fun, and would make the Tortoise move faster, and so off he went to a nearby field where he had seen such a stick. With a careless glance at the tortoise, now further along the course, he decided that he might also need a rock to throw at the Tortoise, cause that would really make him go faster.

Smiling at the thought of the look on the tortoise's face when the tortoise would see the hare speed by, he went off the path now about looking for a large rock.

The sun started to sink, below the horizon, and the tortoise, who had been plodding towards the winning post all along, was scarcely a yard from the finish, and had accomplished much, although not all. At that very point, the hare bounded back onto the trail with a jolt, only to find himself so bogged down, that he had to squint his eyes and try hard to see the tortoise a speck in the distance and away he dashed. He leapt and bounded at a great rate, his tongue lolling, and gasping for breath, with his full load of agenda in his bag, his rock and his heavy stick. Just a little more and he'd be first at the finish, he thought. But the hare's last leap was just too late, for the tortoise had beaten him to the winning post and had accomplished much on the way. Poor hare! Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him.

"Slowly and methodically surely does it every time!" the tortoise said with a smile.






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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #5
25. It's Johnny's wagon now!
GOP co. won't help him, unless he ships the whole wagon to India for repairs.
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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:30 PM
Response to Reply #2
15. Ok....but who's the kindly old man meant to be?
Is that supposed to represent us, or is it the ghost of Studs Terkel?
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 11:20 AM
Response to Reply #15
23. It's open to interpretation
I have my own view on who the kindly old man is, but I'll keep it to myself.
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wyldwolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. it's a pathetic copy of the original
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Jennicut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Lets see, well John Edwards morally crapped out on us.
Hillary is considered even more of a Rethug then Obama by some here and Dennis K. is considered too strange by more conservative Dems and independents. The Primaries is where the Dem is chose that we want. Not enough people wanted a Dennis K. type.
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obiwan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:27 PM
Response to Reply #4
13. Hillary's downfall was her inability to tell the truth (and getting caught at it) ...
...during the primaries.
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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. More than that, it was the attitude of a lot of her supporters
that she was simply ENTITLED to the nomination.

There was also the reverse-ageism(the attitude that Obama didn't have any right to the nom because his supporters were too young and hadn't "paid their dues", and were, heaven forbid, TOO ENTHUSIASTIC about their candidate.

And there was there were the vague appeals to white fear and to anti-urbanism.

All of that did its damage.

If HRC's campaign expressed itself modestly, had it treated the nomination as something it was working to win rather than acting as if every other candidate was obligated to just get out of the way because it was "her turn", had admitted that the antiwar movement was right from the start about Iraq and that the Obama movement deserved to be treated with respect, she might very well have won.

It was the arrogance, stupid.
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RollWithIt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
6. I really don't need to read childrens fairy tales saying President Obama is really a Republican....
Ok Ralph? Fairy tales are for kids. And they are aren't real.
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. "Ralph?"
Where did "Ralph" come from?

The lesson remains the same. Fix the problem, and fix it now before everything goes pear-shaped down the road.
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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. I think Johnny is repressing something
and needs to confront his inner needs. Obviously, the blue and red paint are symbols for something that Johnny finds too painful to confront. He is afraid to face some traumatizing event that took place at the circus or maybe the Loews paint isle.

Either way, I recommend that you check Johnny's insurance and, if he qualifies, he be kept for observation for a while. Perhaps some Xanax for his anxiety and definitely zoloft for the depression. Beyond that, we need some time to evaluate his condition.

Didn't this same Johnny tell this tale just slightly differently the last time? Not sure if that is pro or regression.

Sad case.
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islandmkl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
9. shorter story (ala 'The Deerhunter'):
to make room for a new 'guest', the guards put one bullet in a gun...the outgoing guy and the new guy each 'get' to put the gun to their head and pull the trigger...

'outgoing' guy gets choice of first or second pull...'new' guy just gets to pull the trigger when it's his turn, no real choices to be made at that point...and for every empty chamber 'click' the guards just spin the cylinder...they are patient, they have plenty of bullets...
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
10. Well, bei'n as I'm a blue wagon guy myself..
The old-timer should teach Johhny and his Dad HOW to sand off the lousy paint, then prime and block sand so that the lustrous blue will look about a foot deep. He and Dad can count up some change, and go buy some stainless steel hardware to put it back together.


I'm VERY lucky - I had a Dad who was a whiz at anything mechanical, and made sure I knew how to do it right. Growing up with him, the rest of my family (Mom's a whiz with cloth, and then there's my uncles..), and all the clever racers and tinkerers I've met along the way, has left me with mad skills, and not a little contempt for "most of the children". And I would'nt trade my "blue wagon friends" for a boatload of rich ignorami.

I can see the old man's shop in my mind right now - the old library drawers of carefully sorted hardware, the wood stove in the back corner with the old car seat next to it - the smells of fresh paint, gear oil, and a little burnt race gas.
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #10
17. Pushed to the side
under old bedspreads, sits a car with odd proportions. Johnny, curious abput the fat, smooth tire sticking out, asks " What kind of car is this?" The old man smiles and says "It's just my old Chevette - I take it out for the old-timers shows now and then" Johnny's dad exclaims "If that's a Chevette, I'm a monkey's uncle!" The old man chuckles,pulling back the dusty bedspread, and says "Better buy your nephew some bannanas, Dad - I've still got the VIN plate in my toolbox, Now let's see to that wagon."
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 08:13 AM
Response to Reply #10
18. Excellent point
Something along the lines of giving a man a fish instead of a fishing pole. Well said. :hi:
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namahage Donating Member (678 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 10:51 PM
Response to Original message
11. As the old man tried to fix the wagon, he realized he wasn't alone.
A crowd of people gathered around, each with their own idea on how to fix the wagon.

Some had good ideas, having been in the wagon business. Unfortunately, others screamed that the wagon was NOT broken, and still others about how the BHO wagon was just another GOP wagon, and no amount of work would remove the traces of red beneath the coats of blue. They kept pointing to the blue-to-the-core DFK wagons (which had a smaller carrying capacity and a steering mechanism that tended to stick).

The cacophony drowned out the voices of those who desperately wanted to see the wagon roll again, stronger and bluer than before. To be heard, they had to shout still louder, until they, too, blended into the noise.

Not to mention that some of the brats with GOP wagons kept stealing the old man's tools.

Johnny watched, growing ever more fearful by the minute.

For his neighborhood was on fire, and putting out the blaze would be more than any one wagon could handle alone.
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
12. "Some of my old friends are still trying - look at this!"
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denem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-07-09 11:30 PM
Response to Original message
14. Then Johnny grew up to chase white ambulances , get elected as Senator,
Edited on Tue Apr-07-09 11:39 PM by denem
be a VP candidate, work for a hedge fund, and buy a new blue wagon for his baby boy out of campaign contributions. But he was still good at bursting into tears. On cue.
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dionysus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #14
19. OH SHIT
:rofl:
:spray:
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Kalyke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #14
21. You forgot some stuff...
Edited on Wed Apr-08-09 10:07 AM by Kalyke
like cheating on his sick wife, embarrassing his family, lying about helping the poor and then abandoning what meager efforts he did provide for them the minute he lost the election for president and oozing smarminess.
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Doesn't take away from the fact that you're still under surveillance
How does that make you feel?
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. Hey, dere you! (for derby in the ol' 378)
Pending your permission and good karma, I'll carry on offline with this for a couple days. I see emerging themes to do with bullying, offshoring, and the values of creating vs. consuming.
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. Hey, go for it
Just a variation on an earlier theme in my case, but have fun. :hi:
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dionysus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #22
29. except we're not (read this)
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 03:13 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. I hope you're right...
...I know Jonathan Turley isn't sold on the whole idea so far, and I consider him good people.
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dionysus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. i'm not gonna flame you...
:hi:
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karynnj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #14
27. lol
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dionysus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 08:48 AM
Response to Original message
20. wow you spent a lot of time on that.
:rofl:
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boomerbust Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
28. The kindly old man
Fell victim to one of the neighborhood kid's Ak47's which was purchased legally by his Wingnut daddy.
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hileeopnyn8d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
30. I think the old man
I think the old man is really Ron Paul, and he's luring children like Johnny away with promises of shiny things. and pot.

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