Paula Poundstone: Skip the Inauguration, just get sworn in and get to work

[EraOfResponsibility]

I don't want to be a wet blanket here, and I'd be the last one to want to destroy the party industry in D.C., but Dow has announced a huge cut in its workforce, and surely that's some scrubbing bubbles down the drain, and KB Toys declared bankruptcy-- at Christmas time! What are we celebrating? Wisely, President-elect Obama is already working to get us out of this disaster. He's just not yet using the toothbrush holder in the White House bathroom.

They can just show a rerun of someone else's inaugural speech. We don't need to be pestering this poor, over-burdened man with such petty things right now. Most people will be so far back in the crowd, they won't know the difference. Besides, a used inaugural speech won't be that different from what Obama would say. We all want the same things. The goals aren't that unique. We want peace. We want to prosper. We want to save the planet. We want to educate our children.

We're putting the cart before the horse by celebrating a President taking office. Let's celebrate the achievement of the laundry list of goals. President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. We can use mortgage backed securities for confetti. When we have justice, so that we can have peace, let's skinny dip in the Potomac. When the car companies pay us back, let's play "Pin The Tail On The Nay Sayer" all night long. Let's meet in California and jump up and down on its inland border until it slips into the sea, which would really save us some money, and when we've done it we can raise their tax refund IOUs high in the air. That would be an achievement worth celebrating.

http://www.236.com/blog/w/paula_poundstone/celebrate_bad_times_come_on_11014.php

[cali]

1. wow. impressively idiotic and unoriginal.

[Uzybone]

2. If we wait for all the problems to be fixed before we celebrate

we would never ever celebrate. Can't Obama have his day (like all the other 43 white presidents before him) without being criticized? He isn't the only president to have been inaugurated during tough times.

[EraOfResponsibility]

7. Right on! n/t

[stranger_with_candy]

3. Incredibly stupid.

[Jane Austin]

4. Paula Poundstone is a comedienne.

Lighten up and enjoy that piece.

I can just hear her saying it.

[EraOfResponsibility]

6. I can hear her saying it too. She's funny. I love her on "Home Movies"

[Uzybone]

8. Sure would be nice if you put that in the OP

I didn't know she was trying to make a funny.

[EraOfResponsibility]

12. I didn't know either I thought she was serious but it was still funny lol n/t

[Uzybone]

9. Sure would be nice if you put that in the OP

I didn't know she was trying to make a funny.

[Jane Austin]

11. What's Home Movies?

Thanks in advance.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

13. Late night cartoon on Adult Swim.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XflpPu5Mzj8

From the geniuses behind Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist, Metalocalypse, and others.

Poundstone plays single mother Paula.

[Jane Austin]

14. Thanks!

I loved Dr. Katz and I love Paula Poundstone, too.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

5. I haven't been so offended since Joan Rivers slurred Obama's ears.

Jesus fucking Christ, people.

Pull the stick out of your ass.

[Hardrada]

10. Or the can of hairspray!