Inevitable: Palin's Lawyers File in Court!

[H2O Man]

(WP) Washington, DC : Attorneys representing Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin filed an emergency brief with the U.S. Supreme Court, in a case that legal experts believe has the potential to split the republican party, and which challenges the outcome of Tuesday’s presidential election.

In the legal papers, Governor Palin’s attorneys have requested the following:

--The Court grant an immediate divorce, thus ending any legal relationship between Palin and John McCain.

--The Court issue an Order of Protection, keeping anyone associated with the McCain campaign from talking to journalists about Governor Palin.

--The Court order the RNC to maintain the level of support to which Ms. Palin has become accustomed to during the past three months, ie: a $250,000 clothing allowance to cover Ms. Palin’s wardrobe needs for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

--The Court to order emergency child support from the estate of J. Howard Marshall, until such time that it can be determined if Ms. Palin actually gave birth to Baby Daniellynn on an unidentified airplane flight from reality.

--The Court grant and enforce a judgement against Joseph Biden, for emotional pain and suffering that resulted from his verbal assault upon Governor Palin’s ignorance, in the Vice Presidential Debate.

--The Court issue a "cease and desist" order against any and all journalists who have quoted her accurately, thus infringing upon her Amendment 1 right to free speech.

--The Court grant an emergency hearing to determine if Tuesday’s presidential election results are a denial of Ms. Palin’s religious rights, as granted in Amendment 1 of the Bill of Rights.

"Governor Palin prayed daily that the republican ticket would win the election," her attorneys told reporters outside the Federal Court Building. "She believes that God intended for Senator McCain and her to win, and for McCain to be declared deceased in early February of 2009. By electing Barack Obama and Joseph Biden, the American public has certainly acted in an unbecoming manner that denies Sarah Palin her right to practice her religious beliefs."

U.S. Supreme Court Injustice Antonin Scalia is expected to hear oral arguments from Governor Palin’s attorneys later this afternoon. An associate of Scalia, who asked to remain unidentified, said that the Court will consider the precedent set in Bush v Gore in determining the case.

Senator McCain has refused to comment on the case.

[jakem]

1. Is it a joke? I can't tell anymore!

[liberal N proud]

3. When it comes to Palin, neither can I

:rofl:

[H2O Man]

4. It's reel life. n/t

[AllyCat]

13. Me neither! Seriously, I could believe this.

[mmonk]

2. .

:rofl:

Sounds about right. She will be the queen of the rightwing fringe.

[H2O Man]

8. Keith Olbermann

has said that he will contribute to her campaign fund, to keep her going.

[NewJeffCT]

5. That has to be from The Onion

but, sometimes its hard to tell these days.

[H2O Man]

7. No.

I would have linked it. (Plus, I've never read "The Onion.")

It's a WP exclusive -- "WP" being Waterman Press.

[Me.]

9. Is It Live Or Is It Memorex?

Who can tell?

:rofl:

[Me.]

6. Split Baby Split

Will the judicial robe division be the one which determines who gets custody of the clothes and was there a Neiman Marcus clause in the pre-nupt?

[H2O Man]

10. I'll bet that

Clarence T. is excited by this case.

Although I'm old and frequently confused, I think that on a thread a couple weeks ago, I mentioned to you that there was much more to Palin's clothing allowance than was being reported. I was hoping to get MSNBC to report on more of the spending that was being kept "hush-hush." Was that you? Or am I senile? (Or both?)

[Me.]

11. What You Didn't Mention Then

Was the potential listing of towels (large or small?) on expense sheets.

[formercia]

19. I can see King Solomon now

Shlomo: Is this your dress?

Sarah: Yes your majesty, can I have it now?

Shlomo: Dude, you claim this dress as yours?

Dude: Yes your majesty, it is my only one.

Shlomo: Well, I guess I'll have to rip it in two and share it equally among you.

Dude: Please, your majesty, do not tear the dress, it is the only one I have, but I would rather let Sarah have it than see it torn asunder.

Shlomo: Feh! neither of you deserve Neiman Marcus.


Shlomo:Lady, you can have this half of the dress and as for you dude, you get the other half....

[bridgit]

12. She's a piker!! I'd have prayed for the blood diamonds from the island nation of Sierra Leone

[glitch]

14. Perfect!

You know it's perfect satire when people believe it, if only for a moment. :applause:

[unblock]

15. i always love your posts for their sober and thoughtful analysis!

:rofl:

[endthewar]

16. Bwahahahaha!!!

Wonderful! :rofl:

[Wind Dancer]

17. LOL!

Too funny!

[myrna minx]

18. LOL! Thanks for the big laugh.

It feels wonderful to feel wonderful. :D

[bleever]

20. 'a "cease and desist" order against any and all journalists who have quoted her accurately,

thus infringing upon her Amendment 1 right to free speech.'

:rofl:

[Gin]

21. this is not real....

U.S. Supreme Court Injustice Antonin Scalia

had me going for a while though

[H2O Man]

22. That part is real. n/t

[H2O Man]

23. No court decision yet.

The suspense is building.

[underpants]

24. Too funny

she really IS McCain's third wife!! :bounce:

[H2O Man]

26. She has a budding

relationship with the increasingly repulsive Mika Mouse from MSNBC. I saw Mike calling Palin "ambitious and tough" tonight. "Ambitious," we all agree on. Let us hope that she remains tough enough to create a divide within the republican party.

[grantcart]

25. No mention of having the court scold the media for curbing her 1st ammendment rights

because they kept calling her stupid?

[H2O Man]

27. True.

She has grounds for that: the media has lied about George W. Bush for almost eight years now. They have made him sound like he was a decent, intelligent human being -- and surely he is none of the three.

Why did they turn on poor Sarah, and report the truth?

[jazzjunkysue]

28. The custody battle over Joe The Plumber will get ugly, no doubt.

Neither one will want him, but he'll demand to be supported.

[blondeatlast]

29. Will the press obsess over this like they did Jen and Brad? nt

[symbolman]

30. Oh dear God, this is fucking hilarious :)

The Lord needs Equal Protection via the 14th Amendment too, as her Running Mate and head of Her Campaign, the Supreme Court should make Another One Time Decision and knock off McCain, while appointing HimSelf and Palin as the Once and Future President of JesusLand USA.. :)