I need some help from DU, and I need it now!

[Lyric]

I'm starving, and somebody offered me a hamburger. Should I eat it?? It looks so good, I really WANT to eat it, but dammit...I think it has onions on it, and I HATE onions! What do I do?? Other than eating the burger, my other two options are to eat a bowl of rusty tacks, or nothing at all. ARGH! Why do *I* always get stuck with the truly TOUGH choices like this?? It's just not fair!

Talk me down, DU, talk me down.

:cry:

[BlooInBloo]

1. It's a Rovian trick. Don't eat it.

[Lyric]

4. See, that's what I'm worried about!

I mean, sure--onions seem like no big deal, but what if there are PICKLES too?? And ketchup!

I just KNOW that Karl Rove secretly WANTS me to eat the hamburger, and then something horrible will happen!

Oh woe, oh despair, ohhhh indecision!

:cry:

[sharp_stick]

2. Don't touch that burger!

Cmon man you've got to stick to your principles, the damn thing is polluted with onions and you CAN NOT touch it. I like onions though, can I have it?

[Lyric]

10. You like ONIONS??

Ah-HAH! I see you, Freeper! Next you'll be casting asparagus!

[sharp_stick]

20. OH NOES !111!!

I don't like asparagus, it makes my pee smell funny. I suppose I would cast it however.

[azmouse]

3. Actually I think the other option was a shit sandwich....

I'd wipe off the onions and eat the burger if I were you. :hi:

[H2O Man]

5. Nominated. n/t

[CJCRANE]

6. I was talking to a co-worker

who told me that rusty tacks are good for you. Plenty of iron in them.

[Lyric]

7. Some people take that whole "looking on the bright side" thing

just a weeeeee bit too far.

:crazy:
:rofl:

[dgibby]

8. Give me the hamburger.

Jump!
Problem solved.:evilgrin:

[Lex]

9. If you can't have it exactly like you want it, you should definitely not eat it at all.

No matter how dire your circumstances are.

[uppityperson]

11. mainly because half the people I was with believed it until I explained the situation to them

[John Q. Citizen]

12. Meat is murder,dude.

[PBS Poll-435]

13. geeyourburgerstinks

:shrug:

[HughMoran]

14. Save the tacks for when you need some iron

Don't eat the burger though - you're better off dead than eat something that has even one molecule of something you find distasteful. :hippie:

[yourguide]

15. scrape the onions off

I hate onions too.

[KansasVoter]

16. Please DU this PBS Poll!

[vaberella]

17. Concern Troll. n/t

[1Hippiechick]

18. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Eat it, and be grateful. n/t

[NV Whino]

19. Eat your burger.

Think of all the starving children in... uh... wherever the starving children are these days.

[Gregorian]

21. Calm down. Go back to basics. Start with the carbon footprint.

THE CARBON FOOTPRINT!!!

[Lyric]

22. CALL CONGRESS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!111

Damn your STICKILY LIES!

:rofl:

[Gregorian]

24. Waxman's on it!

Reid's writing a harsh memo.

[stillcool]

23. well if you eat the bowl of rusty tacks..

you'll never have to worry about that hamburger ever again!..or anything else.

[MissMarple]

25. That is not a burger! It's a ground up poisonous mushroom. Don't touch it.

;)

[Danger Mouse]

26. OH SHIT! I knew this would happen! We're screwn! Our only hope...

is Ralph Nader!!!