McCain's stimulus package would include Palin shopping spree to pump $375 billion into economy

[bigtree]

October 24, 2008

Shopping at Neiman-Maverick

By Steve Clifford

Stating that the U.S. is facing its gravest economic crisis since the Great Depression, Arizona Sen. John McCain today called for a massive economic stimulus package. His plan is to send Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on shopping sprees at more than 43 high-end retailers.

McCain staffers estimate that this would inject $375 billion into the economy in less than two weeks and rescue the faltering fashion industry. "If Tina Fey matches every Palin outfit, we can double that amount," added Douglas Holtz-Eakin, McCain's chief economic adviser.

Palin said she "did not blink" when asked to assume this new responsibility. "I'm just a small-town hockey mom whose family values include Proenza Schouler, Cartier, and Roger Vivier," she winked.

>>>

In addition to the Palin shopping sprees, McCain's plan also provides $300 billion for the government to purchase troubled assets (unsold inventory) from retailers such as Gucci, Neiman Marcus, and Jimmy Choo. "The high-end retail system is frozen," Fiorina stated. "We need to get this inventory off their books so retailers can start stocking again."

At a campaign rally in Livid, Mo., Palin was greeted by the chant "shop, baby, shop" while wiggling her nose. Regarding the details of her planned shopping sprees, Palin revealed only that "John McCain is a maverick."


more: http://crosscut.com/2008/10/24/flip-side/18593/