John Hagee: "Vote The Bible" (week 2 of 4 repuke propaganda posing as "Christianity" series)

[Sebastian Doyle]

Started a thread on this last week, but I couldn't find it, to kick it back up. If you got a strong stomach, tune in to the "Trinity Broadcasting Network" right now, and listen to what McCain's favorite televangelist has to say.

Remember this is the guy who deliberately WANTS war with Iran and Russia so they will march on Israel, fulfill the prophecy of Ezekiel 38, and kick off the End of the World. :nuke:

[dgibby]

1. If we vote the Bible, can we get these fools raptured?

[Sebastian Doyle]

2. While I still consider myself a "believer" more or less...

I'm not willing to risk McCrazy or Moosealini in the White House on the outside chance of the Rapture happening. :scared:

[dgibby]

4. Believe me, it was only a hypothetical question!

I'm still waiting for the mother ship from the Federation of Light to pick them up. They were supposed to be here Oct 14th. Air traffic must be really heavy to delay them this long. Would hate to see what the toilets look like!

[Sebastian Doyle]

6. I think those aliens saw Sarah Palin in the Vice Presidential debate

...and decided it wasn't worth it, and turned their spaceships around, back to Riegel 7 or where ever they came from. :rofl:

[notalemming]

3. Send 'em over here, I'll rapture them myself!

Hey I'm not worried, what could they charge me with...threatening someone with eternal joy in heaven?
:shrug:

[Sebastian Doyle]

5. Wonder if anyone's tried that defense in court yet?

Probably best attempted with a Bush appointed fundie judge.

[Skip Intro]

7. If the Bible can tell me how to vote this election, can it also tell me next Sat.'s Powerball #s?

:shrug:

[Sebastian Doyle]

11. Nah, I've been trying to use Scripture to pick Lotto numbers for years

No blessings yet :(

[Clio the Leo]

8. I AM voting the Bible ........ I'm voting for Barack Obama.

There's not too much that John McCain or Sarah Palin say that jive with my Christian beliefs. The Lord is gonna come back to earth and we're all gonna move to Alaska? Leave your wife for another woman and continue to do so even after you claim to have repented for it? No, I dont think so.

Barack on the other hand ....... that pacifist who wants to redistribute the wealth? The man who believes in one common human bond that is stronger than any geographic boundry?

Yeah, I'm definately voting the Bible.

[Left Is Write]

9. Redistributing the wealth = the feeding of the 5000.

[Clio the Leo]

10. Yep. And read Acts 4:32-37 and TELL me socialism is wrong!

Of course we ALL know Barack's not a socialist. ;)

[Sebastian Doyle]

12. Then there's that whole "trashing the Temple" incident.

JC was certainly no fan of capitalism, and certainly not in his Dad's house. By the looks of Hagee's church/television set, I'd say the money changers are more than welcome in his "temple".

[Clio the Leo]

15. Yup, which is why church fund-raisers are wrong. NT

[notalemming]

16. Quoting Matthew 19:21 is always good for a reaction from fundies

:evilgrin:

[TxBlue]

20. Ditto I'm voting the Bible way....for Obama!

[Ozma]

13. I say, take Pastor Hagee and put him in a rendition program.. in Iran!

[ibegurpard]

14. What part of the Bible?

It's all over the map...

[dgibby]

17. Have you ever read anything by Dennis Dhiel (sp?)

Drop dead funny! He used to be an evangelical preacher, but he got over it, in a big way.
I love his series, Things your Preacher doesn't Want You to Ask.
Just google his name. Lots of his stuff is on the web.
One of my faves, Which version of Judas' death am I supposed the believe, Preacher? He reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy.

[Sebastian Doyle]

18. The Judas thing could have been both

He hanged himself and then the rope broke and he spilled his guts all over the rocks below.

In fact I've seen a Bible movie where it happened exactly that way, so it covered both versions of the story.

Or he turned into a vampire and was cursed to walk the earth until Jesus came back, which I think is the Anne Rice theory. :shrug:

[cliffordu]

19. Fuck that satan worshipping asswipe. Him and Rod parsley....

:puke:

[bulloney]

21. I wonder if that asscarrot Hagee really follows the Bible literally in his own personal life.

Does he isolate his wife in a room and not have any contact with her during her menstrual period? (Maybe he isn't married. I can't imagine anybody with a brain wanting to be married to that hypocritical pig.)

When somebody admits to having an affair, does he take them out to a public square and have them stoned?

Has he sacrificed any of his sons (again assuming he's married with a family)?

[Vinca]

22. Would that be the Bible that feeds and houses the poor or

the one that hates everybody?