:hug:
...and, again, it's why I shy away from it and am usually mum when the subject comes up. I have been very lucky, so far, not to have suffered some of life's most painful moments.
And, again, YES:
"Especially when those same idiots she is supporting refuse to help fund the foster-care system that she was born into, and don't help fund adoptions by people like her foster mom who adopted her..."
This is when I DO get upset, discussing this part of it. I have had few real discussions, but one that I did have was memorable. A man I once worked with, a wonderful person - an ordained minister, in fact - was immovable on his anti-abortion views... I labeled him "pro-life," and all that that entails. When we accidently ventured into the subject one day, he got so red-faced and angry with me that I thought he was going to explode. But not for the reasons I anticipated. I have always thought that some -
some - of those who are pro-life are against supporting the child after birth because many babies born outside of marriage, and that wind up in homes, are African-American. Since I am African-American myself, this always incensed me, giving the whole issue a taint of racism, from my perspective, especially those fanatically against helping the children women DID give birth to. "Love the fetus, hate the child." Turns out - something I had no inkling of - he and his wife were in the process of adopting an African-American crack baby from the child's grandmother, who was, basically, extorting money from him, playing on his desperation to adopt the child. He had already given her thousands of dollars just to see the baby, and support his quality of life (the grandmother was very poor, and the mother was just not in the picture). So when I railed back at him about the lack of support for foster homes and programs for the very babies pro-life people profess to want to save, he nearly fainted with anger (though I did not bring up race, he was clearly not in that league). From that day on, I realized there is an opinion - and a story, a reason for that opinion - behind every person who is passionate on both sides of the issue. Actually, we got closer after that, and he kept me updated on his progress with the adoption, but the sad story didn't have a good ending. This couple couldn't afford the money the grandmother was trying to get out of them, so they had to let the baby go. A heartbreaking ending, just as your personal story is heart-rending. He and his wife were devastated.
My one experience with a person who had an abortion has probably influenced my detached attitude about it. We were both 17 - waaay too young for me, or her, to understand the million nuances and the million things her mind and body were going through - and she had gotten pregnant by my ex-boyfriend of mine. Okay then! Still, I was her only friend, so I kinda got her through it, in my ignorant teenaged way, by basically not saying anything controversial or judgemental or anything of importance. Hard to believe that we actually didn't really discuss "it" much, just went through the motions. I think I've carried that way of dealing with it to this day. Not helpful, I know, but... (side note: the next year, she did bring a baby to term by my ex-fiance - different guy... I know... :shrug:)
AND - my last confession! - having said all the things I said, I had no inkling of the history of the woman in the ad. Now that I know, it makes her more human, and therefore, yeah... harder to dislike. Don't know how I'll feel the next time that ad comes on. Maybe I'll listen more to what she says, probably get angrier at the distortions,... still, that knowledge offers a different perspective.
I'm glad you came back and responded. I wish you peace and nothing but the best, and keep fighting the good fight. :hi: